Intimacy: Today, I was trying to help a very slow-witted client over the...

By Milly - 30/01/2011 19:25 - United Kingdom

Today, I was trying to help a very slow-witted client over the phone. After a while, I realised he was just delaying while pleasuring himself to the sound of my voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 629

You deserved it 4 090

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Sir! Sir!

By Anonymous - 28/05/2009 16:52 - United States

Today, I was taking calls at the helpdesk I work at. The caller was a man, and while helping him with his issue he suddenly stopped to tell me I had a nice soothing voice. Then he told me to say something else. As I continued to help him, he started making moaning noises. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 364

You deserved it 3 534

By long day - 12/11/2013 20:29 - United States - Bay City

Today, while taking an order over the phone for the customer at work, I began to hear slight moans. The moans gradually became faster and louder, until climax was achieved and I realized I was being used for phone sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 754

You deserved it 3 889

Listen up

By Ryan - 01/09/2022 21:00 - Canada - Quesnel

Today, after getting off the phone with a client, I got horny so I put on some porn and cranked one out. After I'd finished, I realized I hadn't ended the call and neither had my client. They heard everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 268

You deserved it 2 037

By automaticfail_00 - 17/06/2009 23:27 - United States

Today, I was on the phone with my best friend who lives out of town. He was strangely quiet. Later that day I asked him why he didn't talk much. He admitted he was jacking off to the sound of my voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 114

You deserved it 5 067

By Anonymous - 17/03/2018 05:00

Today, while working at my dead-end call centre job that couldn't get any worse, I answered a call from a customer who was having loud sex. I still needed to sound professional and tell her when a product was released. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 698

You deserved it 423

By Anonymous - 14/04/2014 03:17 - United States

Today, I was talking dirty with my husband over the phone while he was out of town. I started to verbally act out his fantasy and got quite into it. I was returned with silence. Embarrassed, I tried to hang up. Turns out the call had already been dropped, five minutes prior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 983

You deserved it 7 876

By Anonymous - 16/05/2012 20:34 - Netherlands - Kerkrade

Today, I called my boyfriend during his lunch break. He started to place his order at a fast food joint, and trying to be funny, I started moaning sexily after each part of his order. I eventually realised I was on speaker when I heard snickering in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 738

You deserved it 32 283

Hot and heavy

By Lickmylovepump - 19/01/2012 04:09 - United States

Today, my boyfriend insisted that we try phone sex. He started telling me all the things he wanted to do to me while breathing heavily. Unfortunately, it sounded so ridiculous, I burst out laughing. He hung up on me, and has refused to pick up since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 442

You deserved it 35 591

Revealing

By kitkat545 - 15/06/2009 23:18 - United States

Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 080

You deserved it 51 001

By melikeyturtles - 10/10/2011 04:13 - United States

Today, I went to work as a home health-aid, and found out that my client turns his hearing aid off on purpose because he can't stand my voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 555

You deserved it 4 786

Mpsteve13 7

Monday 31 January 2011 0:12

don't have phone sex, you'll get hearing aids boys and girls

Doortje 29

Monday 31 January 2011 0:26

If you were pleased with our service, press 1.

Comments

dayve 0

Monday 31 January 2011 0:04

oh geez

RiskiBusiness 1

Monday 31 January 2011 0:11

oh my lol

RiskiBusiness 1

Monday 31 January 2011 0:13

oh my lol

I_iz_B_a_troll 23

Monday 31 January 2011 0:31

"Uhhh hello.... I need service... Trouble with my thingy... Very hard.... Say that again? Ohhh yeahhhh... keep going... keep going... again... yeahhh... mkay think I got it... now, you've been a... big help!.... I think I may need to call again later on tonight.... thanks..."

Bobissmall 13

Monday 31 January 2011 1:09

See, unless 19 is right, how the **** do you know what he's doing?

trooper250 0

Monday 31 January 2011 3:27

31, it ain't that hard to put two and two together...

WhatTheFuq 0

Monday 31 January 2011 3:49

22?

TXjuggalo972 6

Monday 31 January 2011 5:10

no it's 4 2+2=4 god

MrBond007_fml 6

Monday 31 January 2011 7:12

you mean jiz

rkcxenocide 0

Tuesday 1 February 2011 6:05

LOLOL WIN.

marialittlemonst 0

Monday 31 January 2011 0:05

Grosss!

WOW_BS 0

Monday 31 January 2011 8:49

Are you talking about your picture?

davidjr_saldana 0

Monday 31 January 2011 10:20

low blow

Sathian 0

Monday 31 January 2011 0:11

That's hot. Ask him where he lives and help him with it!

acmilan721 4

Monday 31 January 2011 6:01

agreed!

RedPanda900 0

Monday 31 January 2011 6:21

yes!

summerkingsley 0

Monday 31 January 2011 7:09

what the hell? that's ******* gross..

elemont 0

Monday 31 January 2011 7:09

you now have to do this!

Mpsteve13 7

Monday 31 January 2011 0:12

don't have phone sex, you'll get hearing aids boys and girls

mycookiezz 0

Monday 31 January 2011 0:47

lmao!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

acccccccc 1

Monday 31 January 2011 1:24

hahahaahah

BWill9014 4

Monday 31 January 2011 7:41

lol nice

WOW_BS 0

Monday 31 January 2011 8:53

Ha I get it ;)

lukethe 0

Monday 31 January 2011 12:59

lolol!! so gonna use that x)

un_nomable 6

Monday 31 January 2011 0:12

I smell a lonely individual

WOW_BS 0

Monday 31 January 2011 8:54

That's just my wiener and yes, he's a bit lonely.

ReinaJay 13

Monday 31 January 2011 0:16

Ooh that really sucks! Try to look on the bright side, at least people think you have a sexy voice!

Cali_Queen 0

Monday 31 January 2011 1:38

haha lol true!

nrs132 4

Monday 31 January 2011 12:24

Yea, take it as a compliment :)

mea_iloveskiing 26

Monday 31 January 2011 0:23

So you helped him indeed :D

thelastavailable 13

Monday 31 January 2011 0:23

How exactly did you realise that he was doing "the deed"?

traze 7

Monday 31 January 2011 0:25

Wow, your voice is that sexy? be happy or not.

traze 7

Monday 31 January 2011 0:24

Wow, your voice is that sexy? be happy or not.

macskapingvin 0

Monday 31 January 2011 0:24

As opposed to the taste of your voice? The sight of your voice? The smell of your voice?

tbwrb 0

Monday 31 January 2011 0:29

Ok, so you claim to be from England. This means that you've heard the phrase "sound of my voice" before. Evidently you are just a complete muppet that needs to be put down. I'm guessing your knuckles haven't quite scabbed over from your walk to the end of your street. Quit trying to be a smart arse and maybe learn something about yourself.