Today, my husband was getting undressed. I told my 2-year-old daughter not to go in our bedroom because he was undressing in there. I turned my back and she instantly ran off to my bedroom. I heard her shout "I can see daddy's tail!" Now, she points to everyone's crotch and shouts "TAIL!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 3-year-old girl accidentally caught sight of me stepping out of the shower. Now she thinks "daddy has a tail" and she just has to let everyone know about it. FML
Today, I went to the store with my 4-year-old daughter. While I was trying to change into tight jeans, which weren't completely on, my daughter opened the curtain and yelled, "It's the Mommy Show!" Everyone there heard her and saw me. FML
Today, while we had my husband's boss over, my 3-year-old son decided to burst into the living room naked and yell, "Mum, look! Penis!" and wiggle it around. FML
Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year-old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit, and she screamed, "Don't touch me there!" Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML
Today, during dinner with my wife's family, my daughter suddenly yelled, "DADDY TICKLES MOMMY'S BUM BUM!" I don't think I've ever received dirtier glares in my life. FML
Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML
Today, I went clothes shopping. I took my little daughter into the dressing room while I tried some clothes on. She somehow managed to open the door while I was changing. A lady outside then bitched me out for "exposing" myself to her kids. FML
Today, I woke up to my daughter crying, and my son running through the living room completely naked with her bottle, laughing his head off. FML
Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML
Today, when I came home, my daughter's baby-sitter was busy smelling my thongs. FML
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Top comments
Peachy2392 26
Shouting "tail" isn't the worst thing she could say.
igive 29
And when she's fourteen, this will serve as an embarassing story.
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Comments (154)
sanecatlady 13
My older brother brother and I would take baths together when we were small, and shared the same bedroom until I was 11 years old. I would take showers with my mom until I was 12. The way people go on these days you'd think I'd have been molested by now. :p
Duskf1re 12
"My older brother brother"?
Gnu_fml 9
The very simple rule is NEVER to say "Don't do this or that" to a child 'caus all they ever hear is what they aren't supposed to do. What you SHOULD say is what you want them to do, in this case, "stay out of the bedroom". But then again, she saw her dad naked, no big deal. She'll live ;)
raeepressley 12
That's friggin adorable! I remember my little sister yelling 'BOY BITS!!!' all the time haha. All because my little brother would run around with his underpants on his head all the time (the three of us are three years apart). I always thought it was cute.
sandwich_thief 7
Not a good idea to tell a toddler don't
000lizzy000 13
Instead of living in shame. Teach her the proper names and why they stay covered
worldclassrager 41
Hope she only does that to men... Maybe next time don't tell her or better yet maybe have your husband lock the door so she doesn't barge in again...
ThePandaEats 11
that could have been a lot worse though..
that1kid2525 2
Oh god
uiskibum 12
at that age telling them not to do something is a sure fire way to get them to do it.
sickerthanyou 13
if men have tails, what do women have?
raeepressley 12
Heads