Today, my husband was getting undressed. I told my 2-year-old daughter not to go in our bedroom because he was undressing in there. I turned my back and she instantly ran off to my bedroom. I heard her shout "I can see daddy's tail!" Now, she points to everyone's crotch and shouts "TAIL!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 3-year-old girl accidentally caught sight of me stepping out of the shower. Now she thinks "daddy has a tail" and she just has to let everyone know about it. FML
Today, I went to the store with my 4-year-old daughter. While I was trying to change into tight jeans, which weren't completely on, my daughter opened the curtain and yelled, "It's the Mommy Show!" Everyone there heard her and saw me. FML
Today, while we had my husband's boss over, my 3-year-old son decided to burst into the living room naked and yell, "Mum, look! Penis!" and wiggle it around. FML
Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year-old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit, and she screamed, "Don't touch me there!" Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML
Today, during dinner with my wife's family, my daughter suddenly yelled, "DADDY TICKLES MOMMY'S BUM BUM!" I don't think I've ever received dirtier glares in my life. FML
Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML
Today, I went clothes shopping. I took my little daughter into the dressing room while I tried some clothes on. She somehow managed to open the door while I was changing. A lady outside then bitched me out for "exposing" myself to her kids. FML
Today, I woke up to my daughter crying, and my son running through the living room completely naked with her bottle, laughing his head off. FML
Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML
Today, when I came home, my daughter's baby-sitter was busy smelling my thongs. FML
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Top comments
Peachy2392 26
Shouting "tail" isn't the worst thing she could say.
igive 29
And when she's fourteen, this will serve as an embarassing story.
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Comments (154)
JMichael 26
A great story to tell her when she's older.
The_Great_Zucchi 15
Prude much?
hellphone_fml 37
Ah yes not wanting a little child to see their father naked is being such a prude
Fernando83 19
when is this whole "much" thing going to die out.
rustyxjohnson 1
I hope she didn't pet the tail
GCSadie 4
the door should have been locked in my opinion
askingandy 23
Except not every door in the world has a lock.
FuqueMyLife 9
Imagine if the tail was straight :O
awilliams44 9
My little bro says much worse....
perdix 31
It could be worse, she could be crotch-pointing and yelling, "BUTTON!"
prc_ 5
FHL! If you start acting embarrassed for your 2y old for noticing that men and women differ you will either raise a socially akward crazy-cat-lady or if she is lucky she is lesbian and wont need to be embarrassed about men's genitalia. You should talk openly about the differences, tho for now its enough for her to know that ppl use those parts for peeing..
stardustjunkie 12
You're trying to hide her father from her? I used to always walk in when my mum or dad were in the bath because I didn't have any siblings and with me being so young, it really didn't bother them. She's 2 years old! I don't remember what my parents looked like naked, I simply remember wanting attention while they were in the bath! Girls and boys are different, everyone needs to learn that at some point, just explain it to her in simple terms that boys are different to girls.
Dodge4x4Ram 46
You tell me no I'll do it