Today, my husband was getting undressed. I told my 2-year-old daughter not to go in our bedroom because he was undressing in there. I turned my back and she instantly ran off to my bedroom. I heard her shout "I can see daddy's tail!" Now, she points to everyone's crotch and shouts "TAIL!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 3-year-old girl accidentally caught sight of me stepping out of the shower. Now she thinks "daddy has a tail" and she just has to let everyone know about it. FML
Today, I went to the store with my 4-year-old daughter. While I was trying to change into tight jeans, which weren't completely on, my daughter opened the curtain and yelled, "It's the Mommy Show!" Everyone there heard her and saw me. FML
Today, while we had my husband's boss over, my 3-year-old son decided to burst into the living room naked and yell, "Mum, look! Penis!" and wiggle it around. FML
Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year-old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit, and she screamed, "Don't touch me there!" Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML
Today, during dinner with my wife's family, my daughter suddenly yelled, "DADDY TICKLES MOMMY'S BUM BUM!" I don't think I've ever received dirtier glares in my life. FML
Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML
Today, I went clothes shopping. I took my little daughter into the dressing room while I tried some clothes on. She somehow managed to open the door while I was changing. A lady outside then bitched me out for "exposing" myself to her kids. FML
Today, I woke up to my daughter crying, and my son running through the living room completely naked with her bottle, laughing his head off. FML
Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML
Today, when I came home, my daughter's baby-sitter was busy smelling my thongs. FML
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Top comments
Peachy2392 26
Shouting "tail" isn't the worst thing she could say.
igive 29
And when she's fourteen, this will serve as an embarassing story.
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Comments (154)
zoegirl_455 30
Hey at least she didn't ask her dad what he was carrying in his underwear -_- trust me she will forget about it eventually it's normal
adowd687 3
You could've locked the door
Setareh23 34
Not all doors have locks.
blackychan63 12
we've already been over the lock-the-door thing.
greeneyebeauty9 28
Also, rookie mistake. NEVER turn your back.
Calingaladha 21
I think dad made the opposite mistake
ElricMustang 23
I'm sure most people won't even know what she's talking about. She couldve said a lot worse.
Huddisher 10
She points at crotches and yells "tail." ...
imbedderdenu 23
hahahhaa awww gotta love monsters! ;)
150493x 29
The things kids come out with is adorable... Most of the time.
awkwardloveannie 28
you do not tell a child or anyone for that matter to NOT do something it makes them want to do it that much more
error404n0tf0und 21
is she telling tails?
macystar 14
Very punny!
SMHsohard 22
Rookie mistake; never say to a toddler "Don't" do something. All they hear is "Do it". This rule pertains to some adults, as well. Unfortunately.
Emilystar0298 9
Lol well at least she didn't grab it! My niece walking in on my boyfriend while we were babysitting her. He was changing and she just looked at it and grabbed it ask what's this?
Katiekhalifa_fml 28
Why would he even let her close enough that she grab it while he was naked?!?!
cryssycakesx3 23
the bits of that that was comprehensible is kinda awkward.