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That's horrible!!! Op I would seriously sit down and have a chat with him about this.
I don't even... what? Some people are really messed up in the head.
There was really no need for him to tell you that, except to assuage his own guilty conscience and in the process make you feel bad.
I'm divided on what the right thing to do in this situation would be? On one hand, if it's the past, and not ever ever going to repeat itself, then there was no reason to tell the OP. All it will do is hurt her deeply. Him confessing is trying to shift the burden to clear his guilty conscience which I think is extremely selfish of him. On the other hand, if that were me, I would want to know!
I've always thought telling your SO about an affair is a horrendously selfish move. If you screw up at that level, you deserve to live with the shame and guilt, without exposing someone you apparently love to it. It's a selfish act to begin with, and if it was a one time thing, that's your cross to bear, nobody else's.
Hmm, no, I don't agree with that. Firstly because the SO deserves to know the truth. Secondly, it's a nice way of passive revenge to let the cheater live a life with guilt, but that will never-ever-ever make the relationship any better. Some couples survive such a drama and even grow stronger because of it - but then it needs to be discussed instead of ignored. And lastly, what with those who don't feel shame and guilt? I also think there's a time and place for everything. Telling your partner about something bad that happened two years ago is a devastating move. In this case, he had better held his mouth shut - unless he wanted to ruin the relationship.
If my SO cheated on me, I'd want to know. I don't care if it was a "one time thing" and the relationship was "going well" now. A relationship built on dishonesty, secrets, and lies, even if it was only once, is not something I'd ever want. I'd want him to tell me honestly and then it'd be up to me whether to leave him or try to salvage the relationship. Besides, it would be a hundred times worse to learn about it on my own later on.
So feeling guilty about cheating is a bad thing now? You know, some people cheat and don't feel guilty at all, and keep doing it and keep telling lie after lie to hide it just so they can get away with continuing to do it, because they have no remorse and thus feel no compulsion to confess and try to acquire forgiveness or change their behavior.
Feeling the guilt and not being able to clear your conscience CAN be punishment in itself. Not everybody is a robot. Some have the urge to want to get things off their chest because the guilt is too much to bare and eating them alive! Wanting that relief happens more often than thought. Sparing your love one's feeling, especially for something that happened a long time ago can be the right thing. (In some, not all situations) Also, the ones that cheat and don't feel guilty wouldn't tell their SO anyways. Unfortunately some are robots.
Totally justified because the babies gone... Some people, unloyal ass hoes. My condolences OP on your mistake for a good man. He is useless to everyone at this point.
Yea. You should probably divorce him because he's not worth your time. It's never okay even if his ex fiancée didn't keep the baby.
You can't say wether or not OP's husband is really sorry just from reading the FML. Maybe cheating on her was eating him alive and he wanted to tell her and panaicked once he did and just blurted out the whole "ok" thing. And for those of you who are going to say if it was bothering him that much than he would have told her earlier, you would be surprised with how long some people can live guilt ridden. And getting a divorce on him without at least trying to work things out or talk about it is really stupid in my opinion. Because you are just giving up on the whole relationship, and thats a lot of time wasted that you will never get back. If they are married and he cheated on her 2yrs ago, they have obvouisly been together for a while.
I didn't say he definitely wasn't sorry, but from the wording of the fml it seems like OP's husband acted like it was "No harm No foul" just because she didn't end up pregnant. Idk if that's definitely the situation, but that's the impression I got. I was Just saying I wouldn't blame OP for wanting a divorce if that's the situation. And personally I don't give half a shit how long we're together, once someone can cheat on me and not be genuinely sorry about it, there's nothing left to work with. Again, since you geniuses love jumping to conclusions I'm not saying that's the case here.
if you can get past this ordeal then Great. if not, it's time to move on, because otherwise you'll just keep throwing it in his face. good luck