Today, my husband threw out all of the spices in the cupboard. When I asked him why he said, "Our cat was named Spicy and I can't stand to look at them." Our recently deceased cat's name was Dicey. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my husband's cat died. He has resorted to calling me by her name to comfort himself. FML
Today, the cat climbed up to the spice shelf while I was cooking. As I looked up and told him to leave, he tipped over a chili container which coated my face with chili powder. The bloody pain in my eyes then made me knock over a pot of boiling water. FML
Today, I once again walked in on my husband eating our cat's food. FML
Today, I walked outside to see my dog killing my cat. My spouse tried to cheer me up - "Hey, at least we don't have to buy cat food anymore!" FML
Today, I walked in on my husband eating cat food out of the cat bowl dressed in a cat costume. FML
Today, after my husband got ready for work, he touched my arm and slowly bent down. I assumed he was going to say he loved me and to have a good day. As I quickly thought of a loving response and prepared to give him a kiss, he whispered in my ear, "Did you put a dead mouse in the toilet?" Thanks a lot, cat. FML
Today, I awoke at two in the morning to my cat putting his most recent kill on my chest. When I jumped up screaming, the dead mouse went flying and now my husband and I can't find it. Better yet, now both my husband and my cat are giving me the silent treatment. FML
Today, since my husband has been volunteering to do more of the cooking, I was happy and relieved to have help, until every meal he made had an ungodly amount of spices in it. I overheard him on the phone, saying he’s been purposely making my food inedibly hot so that I’ll eat less and lose weight. FML
Today, on my way to Burger King I got into a heated discussion with my wife about our cats. We have 15 rescues, and I've reached my limit. Guess what came running up to my car while waiting in the drive-through. We named him Pickles. FML
Today, my husband is sulking because I wouldn't let him do what he's always wanted to do: throw our cat out the second floor window to see if she would land safely and on all fours. FML
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Top comments
xShannonxSammyx 7
So... FML I don't have any more spices, or FML my husband can't remember our dead cat's name?
RebornProblem 0
Was he high the entire lifetime of your cat?
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Comments (62)
perdix 31
Good thing you didn't just call the cat Pussy, otherwise you'd be homeless now! :)
Sir_Mitchell15 14
Hahaha I don't get it
DeadxManxWalking 27
don't dice your vegetables
stoneywoney 3
Guys are forgetful. If it reminds him of dicey, then it reminds him of Dicey. Either way he thinks of the cat.
Playful1985 9
spices are expensive and he's a moron.
hatepineapple 14
Sounds like your husband is cumin down with something. You should take the thyme to curry him down to a doctor. Don't be ginger about this either.
Beezy1008 0
AHAHAHAHAHHA! i love this.
brooklynnlee 1
That's funny. :)
RetardedChipmunk 7
I see what you did there
JesterMarcus 0
Your own fault for naming your cat "Dicey".
SGT_DBL 15
Agreed.... unless the cat was named "Dicey" because it had a habbit of using its claws to slash the living crap out of everything within reach, as is often the case with cats. That would justify the name, although its still a little obvious...
nessa_luv 0
he can't remember your dead cats name and you now have no spices ...... I feel for you
skyeblue82 5
it's kinda funny he doesn't even know the cats name lol