Today, my husband laughed at me for farting in the bathtub; I lied by admitting to it. The fact is that I have enough back-fat to create suction against the bathtub. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was so ashamed of my weight when I sat down and the suction of my thighs made a loud fart noise, I admitted to it being a fart rather than my fat rolls. FML
Today, I farted in front of my husband. It somehow turned into a farting war. Then I realized this is the closest we've come to intimacy in a week. FML
Today, I trusted a fart in the bathtub. I really shouldn't have. It came out loose like a brown cloud, so I had to shower to wash the shit out of my pubes. FML
Today, I was snuggled in bed with my husband. He thought because my butt was twitching that I was trying to be frisky. So he slapped my ass hard in attempt to get something going. I was actually trying to hold in a huge fart because last night I had diarrhea. Apparently I still have it. FML
Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML
Today, my husband farted while he was naked and bending over to pick up his clothes, so me lying on the bed got a perfect view of his butthole twitching and flapping around as the gas escaped. Who says romance is dead? FML
Today, after having my bath, I realised that I've gotten so fat that I have to lift up my butt cheeks in order to dry underneath them. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to fart in our bathtub to see if it would echo. It wasn’t a fart. FML
Today, my husband jokingly told my daughter when she passes gas in public, she needed to blame it on the fattest and ugliest person there. We went shopping after and she let a HUGE fart out. She gasped, "Mommy!" FML
Today, while flirting with a cute nurse at my dad's bedside, I accidentally let a noxious fart slip out and she thought the foul smell came from my sleeping father soiling himself. I let her roll him over and check his ass while he cried out in pain because I wasn't man enough to own up to it. FML
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Top comments
that1guyyy 12
That really "sucks"
sg777 6
That's a clue to start running
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Comments (119)
jujuroxursox 15
That's a warning sign that u should start exercising Run lady run!
Markus12 8
The irony...
Reaper1984 13
Its the poor mans Jacuzzi
hienzburgess 9
since you've established the fact that you're lazy, try liposuction. Because who has time for exercise anyway.
ElatedEarthling 15
It never said that she was lazy. Not all overweight people can control how their bodies metabolize substances. Don't judge a book by its cover, and so on..
collegedream121 8
You make time for exercise if you truly want to lose weight first of all and second of all liposuction cost money and you will just gain all the weight back while your waiting to heal. Being truly happy with yourself is what really matters not other peoples opinions.
raytyler26 16
Better out than in.
QQmore_fml 18
Use this as motivation to start working out! You can do it!!
Enslaved 38
I read this in Rob Schneider's voice.(:
ThreeH3rm 5
Pretty big bathtub to fit both of you if you suction to it..
VeganVampyre 27
It's like a mathematical equation for your bathtub. Like the relationship between area and circumference, more suction = bigger tub. You didn't know about that?
mattorama 15
How could you being fat be anything other than YDI?
CheeseHater 23
The whole situation can be considered a FYL, while the reason it happened could be deserved.
whatthefreshhell 15
Not everyone who's overweight is that way because they eat junk food and sit around all day, but thanks for playing! You're a massive asshat, by the way.
lylotrezor 20
28, a medical condition? Unlucky genes? WHATEVER? Don't be so judgemental.
CheeseHater 23
Up to a certain point, I can grant you that it isn't necessarily your fault, but at some point, it becomes neglect. And you might hate me for saying this, but it's truth. Although, I don't see anything wrong with being fat, I see it as proof that the person is living life the way they want.
K410 18
Jenny Craig maybe?
notsosweetgrl 7
The embarrassment should be motivation enough lol
c4rpi0 20
Hint, nudge, wink