Today, my husband laughed at me for farting in the bathtub; I lied by admitting to it. The fact is that I have enough back-fat to create suction against the bathtub. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was so ashamed of my weight when I sat down and the suction of my thighs made a loud fart noise, I admitted to it being a fart rather than my fat rolls. FML
Today, I farted in front of my husband. It somehow turned into a farting war. Then I realized this is the closest we've come to intimacy in a week. FML
Today, I trusted a fart in the bathtub. I really shouldn't have. It came out loose like a brown cloud, so I had to shower to wash the shit out of my pubes. FML
Today, I was snuggled in bed with my husband. He thought because my butt was twitching that I was trying to be frisky. So he slapped my ass hard in attempt to get something going. I was actually trying to hold in a huge fart because last night I had diarrhea. Apparently I still have it. FML
Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML
Today, my husband farted while he was naked and bending over to pick up his clothes, so me lying on the bed got a perfect view of his butthole twitching and flapping around as the gas escaped. Who says romance is dead? FML
Today, after having my bath, I realised that I've gotten so fat that I have to lift up my butt cheeks in order to dry underneath them. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to fart in our bathtub to see if it would echo. It wasn’t a fart. FML
Today, my husband jokingly told my daughter when she passes gas in public, she needed to blame it on the fattest and ugliest person there. We went shopping after and she let a HUGE fart out. She gasped, "Mommy!" FML
Today, while flirting with a cute nurse at my dad's bedside, I accidentally let a noxious fart slip out and she thought the foul smell came from my sleeping father soiling himself. I let her roll him over and check his ass while he cried out in pain because I wasn't man enough to own up to it. FML
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Top comments
that1guyyy 12
That really "sucks"
sg777 6
That's a clue to start running
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Comments (119)
etishuman22 32
I've heard that many men prefer some love handles to jutting hip bones. I've got D's (since we were sharing boobs sizes up the page, there), and I'll admit, at 5'6" I'm fairly doughy. My boyfriend though, doesn't think I'm fat and thinks I'm crazy for saying so, but nevertheless I'm on a diet now.
amifaiyaz 12
I hear a treadmill calling...
Bagel09 11
Your cats are calling...meow!
whatthefreshhell 15
I hear they don't know how to use a phone.
Lonus 9
Baths are so gross. It's like sitting in a soup of your own filth.
swinkler 6
Im just going to say but I am most defiantly not overweight and I have done that before in the Beth when there was only a little bit of water. Who cares?
akiahara 14
Most defiantly, huh... Denial is powerful, I guess.
mikaelkarlsson 13
How did you both fit :0
whatthefreshhell 15
Well, okay... Bring on the random sharing!
cosmosis 12
81- i agree with you. My girlfriend is a tad taller than you and a bit on the chubby side. But i love her the way she is and wouldnt change anything! Its all preference.
MemeGuy99 5
Time to work out!
vladimirnabokov 15
Well OP, if that bothers you, all you have to do is make small diet changes and exercise a little. I'm sure you look great - we all have things that may embarrass us about our bodies. :)
duckit 0
Take a shower instead