Today, my husband laughed at me for farting in the bathtub; I lied by admitting to it. The fact is that I have enough back-fat to create suction against the bathtub. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was so ashamed of my weight when I sat down and the suction of my thighs made a loud fart noise, I admitted to it being a fart rather than my fat rolls. FML
Today, I farted in front of my husband. It somehow turned into a farting war. Then I realized this is the closest we've come to intimacy in a week. FML
Today, I trusted a fart in the bathtub. I really shouldn't have. It came out loose like a brown cloud, so I had to shower to wash the shit out of my pubes. FML
Today, I was snuggled in bed with my husband. He thought because my butt was twitching that I was trying to be frisky. So he slapped my ass hard in attempt to get something going. I was actually trying to hold in a huge fart because last night I had diarrhea. Apparently I still have it. FML
Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML
Today, my husband farted while he was naked and bending over to pick up his clothes, so me lying on the bed got a perfect view of his butthole twitching and flapping around as the gas escaped. Who says romance is dead? FML
Today, after having my bath, I realised that I've gotten so fat that I have to lift up my butt cheeks in order to dry underneath them. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to fart in our bathtub to see if it would echo. It wasn’t a fart. FML
Today, my husband jokingly told my daughter when she passes gas in public, she needed to blame it on the fattest and ugliest person there. We went shopping after and she let a HUGE fart out. She gasped, "Mommy!" FML
Today, while flirting with a cute nurse at my dad's bedside, I accidentally let a noxious fart slip out and she thought the foul smell came from my sleeping father soiling himself. I let her roll him over and check his ass while he cried out in pain because I wasn't man enough to own up to it. FML
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Top comments
that1guyyy 12
That really "sucks"
sg777 6
That's a clue to start running
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Comments (119)
Ryodin 11
I'm in good shape and I make ultra-farts with my back in the tub. Its just how we're shaped hun.
thatnucca 36
True, but if she feels that way about herself then she really needs to change it.
bieberfuldubstep 4
Go take a jog oh my god.
whatthefreshhell 15
Go play in traffic
VeganVampyre 27
46- that's terrible! ...You'll just drag it out that way. Have her take a long walk off a short pier, much more effective.
etishuman22 32
Psh, you're not fat because you can make farts in the tub with your back! If it were me and my boyfriend, we would have made a game of it and kept back-farting. You're really not that fat if you two can fit in a tub together, so don't be so hard on yourself!
finch01 18
did ur back hold it down
doodlecloud 27
Pretty sure you don't have to be fat to do that.
ShakeDisPlace 10
Bathtub farts or back fat farts, either way they sound funny
Patindatrap 3
She who felt it delt it.
AboveAll04 14
sir, can you please get your hippopotamus out of my bathtub....yeah thanks !
timelessone 16
It would be OK if it wasn't farting so much, but its just to much to take.
dissdawg 5
Actually, anyone can make that. It doesn't matter how fat you are.
Zebediabolical 45
I think the fact she lied and claimed it was a fart is a tacit admission that she believes she is fat. I could be wrong.
thatgirlincali 13
I feel like the fart would be more embarrassing because he married you so he must think you have a decent or nice body...right?