Today, I was trying to shop in peace when a single mom with a whole herd of loud brats went tearing through the aisles. I told her that if her kids had fathers they wouldn’t behave that way. The oldest screamed, “Our daddy died!” causing all the kids to break into hysterics. The mom cried too. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, in a store, an obnoxious woman, swearing loudly and slapping at her out-of-control kids, was disrupting the whole place. I said to the cashier, "That nasty woman should leave the brats at home." She gave me a filthy look and said, "Do you mind? That's my sister." FML
Today, I saw a kid throwing a tantrum in a supermarket. Thinking it was a matter of lack of discipline, I waited for the kid’s mother to come out of the bathroom to tell her how naughty her son was being. I then got to watch her beat her son to the point of unconsciousness. FML
Today, I was at Walmart with my mom when a guy next to me let out a series of vicious farts. Assuming it was me, my mom chewed me out in front of the guy and made me apologize. The man looked at my mom and said, "Children, they're so immature." FML
Today, while waiting in line at a store, a toddler behind me was throwing a major meltdown while his father yelled at him, giving me a migraine. I turned to the woman behind me and said, "Can you believe this kid? I feel sorry for his mother." Turns out the woman was his mother. FML
Today, a crying kid was brought to my attention by a customer. He was so upset from losing his mom that he couldn't say his or his mom's name. I took him around the store asking him to point out his mom. Once we'd found her she told me, "I was hiding from my kid to test his independence." FML
Today, while I was shopping, I spotted a lady who had the last of an item I wanted in her cart. She went off to the dressing room, so seeing my opportunity, I went and grabbed it from her cart, and put it in mine. I hadn't noticed her bratty-ass daughter next to the cart, who then yelled, “I saw that! Mommy! Some lady's stealing from your cart!” FML
Today, I waved at a baby while standing in line in a store. It started screaming. Its mom looked over in mild concern and gave me a disturbed glare before moving to the next checkout counter over. FML
Today, my 6 year-old daughter got mad at me for not buying her yet another expensive doll. I had to pull her away, and she started screaming for help. The next thing I know, another shopper puts me in a chokehold and calls for security, all while my daughter smirks. FML
Today, I lost yet another girlfriend because of my kids’ behavior. The last one told me, “I’d rather get fisted by Freddy Krueger than deal with those hellspawn of yours!” At this point, I’m going to be a single dad forever. FML
Today, I saw a little boy wandering in the supermarket looking lost and distraught. I gently put my hand on his shoulder and said, “Hey buddy, where’s your mommy?” He screamed, “STRANGER DANGER!” and kicked me in the shin. His actual mom wandered over from the cheese section, gave me a dirty look, and walked off. FML.
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Top comments
GoogieWithers 25
What makes you think you have any right to judge anyone?
FluffythePink 23
Well done. Next time try thinking before you start gobbing off to complete strangers.
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Comments (8)
GoogieWithers 25
What makes you think you have any right to judge anyone?
Yudith 28
That's not the way to calm a whole herd of loud brats.
tiptoppc 21
Right, follow up with “he died to get away from you insufferable bastards…”. Then walk away whistling. If your going to make an accidental sting of a comment, make it a tragical car wreck.
FluffythePink 23
Well done. Next time try thinking before you start gobbing off to complete strangers.
idragosani 17
Didn't think that one through, did ya?
Hangryko 32
What's your father's excuse for spawning such a failure of a human being?
juggalo2 22
I would have said "Gah. I envy him."
BurnInDemonFire 39
That's the problem with people today. No compassion, just an entire global population of assholes.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
I'll probably get down voted for this, but one of my pet peeves is loud, rambunctious kids with no parental supervision. Parents don't parent these days, and it shows. I'm sorry the kids' father died but that doesn't mean the mother is incapable of properly raising kids and teaching them how to behave in public. Kids still need limits. That said, I don't think your comment was necessary. Should have thought it to yourself instead of saying it out loud. I'm always having to hold my tongue when annoying kids are around.