Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Today, my hand fell asleep while I was masturbating. My own body rejected me. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
Lonely
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I fell asleep while masturbating. I'm so bad that I bore myself. FML
lonely girl
Oregon City, United States 🌶️ Spicy
iTouch
Today, I got angry after not being able to have an orgasm. What was I angry at? My own hand. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Overdoing it a bit
Today, I masturbated so hard I got a cramp in my forearm muscle so unexpectedly that my hand spasmed, slipped off my penis, and I punched myself in the face. FML
paidback
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Rejection erection
Today, I rejected my wife for sex. She then started to masturbate next to me. I got an erection. She then rejected me for sex. FML
Lonely Wanker
🌶️ Spicy
Cranking
Today, I started to cry while masturbating. This isn't the first time that this has happened. FML
masterfail
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I woke up after a heavy night of drinking, with my laptop dead on my chest. Apparently, I had attempted a bit of digital penile oscillation, but passed out instead. FML
44haley44
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML
Anonymous
Citrus Heights, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Gimme the D
Today, I wanted to have sex with my boyfriend, but he kept falling asleep while I was giving him a handjob. Ugh, no sex. FML
Amy
Prince George, Canada
Today, I woke up, only to find my arm was still asleep. I tried to move it just a tiny bit, but somehow ended up punching myself in the face. FML
justgreat
Opa Locka, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Repetitive
Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML
Top comments
wanted_2_want 40
Did it ask you "is it in yet"??
RichardPencil 32
You do have another one, or would that be cheating?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (18)
gosh_mate 30
Did it then feel like someone else's hand was doing it?
randomusername00 5
I guess you didn't see that one coming
player69badboy 0
You need some lessons ???
daveshira 3
If you intentionally sit on your hand until it falls asleep, then it'll feel like someone else. You're welcone
LokiLynx 1
After 10 times in 1 day I'd also say no ?
LokiLynx 1
After 10 times in 1 day I'd also say no ?
wickedgetz 30
did you do it properly?
wtfmldude 5
''I cant feel my dick.'' *mom walks by* ''I meant hand. Well Shit.''