Today, my grandmother told me to say "sofa king retarded" really fast. Not only did it take me several attempts to figure out what it meant, I'm now grounded by my mother for having a foul mouth. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my normally very modest and prissy mom came home, pissed off about something. I asked her what was wrong, but she wouldn't say, and snapped at me to "fuck off." She then grounded me for "making" her use that kind of "vile language." FML
Today, I was talking to one of my British friends online, and he told me to say "yew anchors" a few times really fast. I'm a fairly stupid person, and wasn't very focused, so I did as he said. When I finally figured what the words meant, my dad had heard and grounded me for cursing. FML
Today, I briefly left my laptop while I went to use the toilet. When I came back, I found "I" had posted on Facebook, calling my mom a "stupid cunt who should just stay in the kitchen." The only other person home at the time was my grandpa. She didn't believe it, and permanently grounded me. FML
Today, I said a few words to my mom that happened to be similar to something offensive, and she misheard. I tried to tell her, but she was so angry that she assumed I was saying more offensive things. Now she is punishing everybody in the house, and I’m not allowed to speak to her. FML
Today, my psycho grandma yelled at me for being an "immature brat" by not offering to wash the dishes after dinner. I reminded her that when I offered last time, she raged at me for being "condescending." She responded by faking a heart attack and getting me indefinitely grounded. FML
Today, our house caught fire. While trying to help my mom get to safety, the word "fuck" accidentally escaped my mouth. Once we were safe, she said I was grounded for swearing. I'm 19. FML
Today, I was written up because my manager heard me insulting a customer. How did I insult her? I called her grandma. Who did I say this to? My grandma. FML
Today, I got into an argument with my mother, when she snapped and called me a son of a bitch. I said that made no sense, because I'm a girl, and it'd only really confirm that she's a bitch. She then grounded me for insulting her. FML
Today, my mom added me on Facebook. She wrote on my wall, for the whole world to see, "Why are you swearing on the internet?! You're grounded". FML
Today, my dad made a big show of sending me to my room and grounding me for a week. Not because he heard me cursing at my video game, but because I "swear like a little girl" and it embarrassed him in front of his friends. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
OP, now say "I'm a ******* moron" five times fast. What does that sound like to you?
WTSchool 0
She probably thought you were smart enough to figure it out. Sorry.
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Comments (104)
charetpk 3
You deserve it for bring sofa king retarded.
millionaire93 0
no you deserve it for BEING sofa king retarded. dumbass.
DocBastard 40
Dude, it's just a typo. I'm one of the biggest Grammar Nazis here, and even I let typos go.
wwerulez14 6
I think it's safe to say Doc is the equivalent of Hitler for Grammar Nazism. If he says the typo is acceptable, it's acceptable. Period.
wwerulez14 6
I'm afraid I'm not familiar with their work. I called Doc the Hitler, because he's good at it, and he's also witty and funny about it. He can hate, but make it hilarious at the same time. But I was not aware that he's also a stalker. Doc, what do you have to say on this matter?
aback 5
Now say, "Smart fellow I, I fellow smart" five times fast.
sweet_candy_ 17
lmao that is a good one :)
t_w_i_l_i_g_h_t 1
I don't get it...
22Marie22 0
I don't get it either. :/
sweet_candy_ 17
lol I think it says I smell fart.
Makadog 0
That's a good one! It means I smellow fart "I smell a Fart"
Ella_fml 17
It's supposed to sound like "So f***ing retarded" It took me a minute to get! Cuz I was saying it Sofa King with a space without realizing the fa and king were supposed to be together lol. I feel sofa king retarded but I have a cold... blame it on that :P
hubbabubbba 0
either do i
5t3ff1k4h 47
Neither*
Tiannak 0
Haha my dad pulled that shit on me wen I was like 12.
storylogan 0
haha it took me a few attempts to get It too(:
bobsanction 18
epic granny win.
gigilvrs6 0
Grandma is just a rebel isn't she???
TheNewGuy03 29
yep, your grandma just got a vip pass to the awesome club. |the kid|