Miscellaneous: Today, my grandmother introduced me to her friends as her 16-year-old... - FML

By cheese123 - 03/01/2012 05:25 - United States

Today, my grandmother introduced me to her friends as her 16-year-old granddaughter "who has never been kissed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 275

You deserved it 3 214

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Loveless

By loveless - 18/02/2010 05:07 - United States

Today, my grandma called me to tell me that a couple of cute boys stopped by her house to borrow something. She told them all about me, and that I would be interested in them. My love life is so pathetic, even my grandmother is trying to hook me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 888

You deserved it 4 607

By wtf - 10/01/2014 16:47 - United States - Delmar

Today, my grandpa took my face in both hands, kissed me on the lips, said "Now you can tell all your friends you've had your first kiss," and walked out of the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 032

You deserved it 4 980

By Anonymous - 09/05/2015 20:50

Today, my drunk grandma flashed me, after confusing me, a 19 year old girl, for my grandpa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 909

You deserved it 2 347

By Anonymous - 05/10/2009 20:10 - United States

Today, I was on a plane with my grandma. A cute guy sat down next to her. She asked his age. He told her he was 16. She said, "Oh, that's how old my granddaughter here is." She then turned to me and said loudly, "You should switch seats with me, he's HOT!" Well, at least Grandma loves me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 234

You deserved it 6 260

Relationship specialist

By Anonymous - 16/10/2023 13:00

Today, I attended a family reunion, during which my grandma gave me "relationship advice" in front of everyone. She's been married five times, and her longest marriage lasted a whole 6 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 652

You deserved it 80

By MrDisgrace - 17/09/2017 13:00

Today, my mom bitched me out in front of my friends because I had my first kiss at "such a young age". She's 15 years older than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 554

You deserved it 362

By Forever alone Guy - 19/02/2013 23:07 - Australia - Narre Warren

Today, I've been single for so long my grandmother had to ask if I actually like women or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 130

You deserved it 3 823

By Bullet - 13/08/2010 16:28 - United States

Today, I had to go along with my mom to meet some of her old friends from high school. When they asked her about how her life was going, she said she was married, always traveling, no kids, and introduced me as the neighbor's kid she babysits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 270

You deserved it 3 371

Gammy got game

By moetplease - 03/05/2012 16:32 - Singapore

Today, my grandma moved in with us. Along with her 36-year-old boyfriend that none of us knew about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 746

You deserved it 3 815

Faint praise

By Anonymous - 09/06/2021 12:02 - Romania - Iasi

Today, we had a group of friends over, as well as my grandma. She started talking about me when I was a kid, when I suddenly heard her saying, "Well, yeah, she wasn’t a beautiful child, not at all, she looked.… OK." FML

I agree, your life sucks 844

You deserved it 83

Next

Top comments

gazzdogs 5

Tuesday 3 January 2012 11:49

1. Get Hamster 2. Call it virginity 3. Lose Hamster Close Enough.

Garzoo 4

Tuesday 3 January 2012 11:48

Time will come, make it a special moment. Don't take it to the heart.

Comments

bubo_fml 10

Wednesday 4 January 2012 1:42

"This is,my sweet lil' Granddaughter whose never been kissed...But...She can sure suck the green outa grass, the white outa rice, the chrome off a trailer hitch, a golf ball thru a garden hose, a tennis ball through a tennis racket..." (I gotta million of 'em!)

InYourFace77 0

Wednesday 4 January 2012 2:32

Did one volunteer to change that?

zebralover23 14

Wednesday 4 January 2012 2:46

Haha, now you know not to tell your grandma secrets.

SRabbit 11

Wednesday 4 January 2012 3:05

I don't think this is that bad. She didn't say it in front of boys your age. I waited till I was 20 for my first kiss.

SaMmIMonster96 6

Wednesday 4 January 2012 3:12

That is alright, it

nickalibhai 0

Wednesday 4 January 2012 5:09

What r u doing climb that girl and video tape it for me jkjkjk

Medcanyon 10

Wednesday 4 January 2012 5:24

Wow ur really cute to not have been kissed

Medcanyon 10

Wednesday 4 January 2012 5:31

It's okay to not have your first kiss your just the person that doesnt like to kiss or do things with people

seandaniel13 2

Wednesday 4 January 2012 5:32

Lol my nan thinks I ain't been kissed either dw what your nan thinks its your nan who gives a shit I'll kiss ya iv your ever in England

SpeakOutLoud 1

Wednesday 4 January 2012 5:59

How does she know that?

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The Top

Today, my cat tried to look out my bedroom window. To do so, she tried to stand on my air conditioner. She was unsuccessful in that endeavor, almost knocking my TV over and fucking up the side panel. Now there's an opening in my window that I can't close up. Guess I'll take the AC out and shut the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 298

You deserved it 101

Today, during an unrelated appointment with my GP, he offered me a free check for chlamydia. Despite me reassuring him that I was STI free, he insisted that I should undergo the test. I ended up agreeing, only because I was too embarrassed to admit that I'm still a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 379

You deserved it 5 159

The Top

Today, I was grocery shopping, when an elderly lady walked up to me and tripped over her own feet. I caught her by the arm, at which point she shrieked at me for "groping" her. She ended up smirking as security threw me out of the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 978

You deserved it 1 801

Today, I was helping my church clean up a park. I was given a sledgehammer and told to break up a concrete picnic table so we could haul it off. About halfway through, I swung the sledgehammer REALLY hard, completely missed the table, and hit myself in the shin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 803

You deserved it 23 345

Today, one of my oldest friends blocked me for refusing to drive her to and from a wedding that was over 30 miles away. The wedding was mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 043

You deserved it 1 194

Today, I had my first sexual experience since going through a rough break up a month ago. The guy finished after 60 seconds of a blow job and then didn’t return the favor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 354

You deserved it 357

Today, my wife rushed out of the house, stated she had to hurry to Costco, asked me for money after talking shit to me. She left our house a mess while I’m working from home. When I called her to give her a list of things to pick up, she was cleaning her friends’s house and taking care of her friend’s kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 406

You deserved it 464

Today, I was cuddling up on the couch with my girlfriend, when my drunken mother walked in the room, slurred out, "Room for one more?" and leaped on top of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 058

You deserved it 3 228