Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was with...

By Anonymous - 16/08/2009 18:53 - United States

Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was with her. No, let me correct myself. Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was in her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 310

You deserved it 11 759

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Same thing different taste

Facebook official

By waitthatsnotme - 15/08/2009 00:39 - United States

Today, after dating my girlfriend for about a month, she changed her Facebook status to taken. When I saw the update, I immediately clicked "Like." Then I looked up and saw I wasn't the person she had put herself in a relationship with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 516

You deserved it 5 567

By sadlife - 06/01/2011 03:35

Today, I changed my Facebook relationship status to "In a relationship". The girl is made up and the picture is from Google. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 524

You deserved it 58 964

By sadman - 05/02/2011 07:16 - United States

Today, I had a date with a girl I'd been seeing for about a month. When I got home, I saw her facebook status changed to "In a relationship". This made me kind of excited, until I realized it wasn't with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 023

You deserved it 3 792

Stereotypes

By Anonymous - 26/09/2019 06:01

Today, my girlfriend's Facebook relationship status was changed to single. When I tried to ask her about, she told me she's a lesbian now. Her mullet should've been a clue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 524

You deserved it 336

Easy fix

By failure - 13/10/2010 06:18 - Australia

Today, I rang my girlfriend to make sure she made it home alright. She told me to check my Facebook. Nothing was different so I hit refresh. We were no longer in a relationship. I got dumped via Facebook whilst on the phone to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 400

You deserved it 3 091

By Lies - 19/08/2009 02:44 - United States

Today, I saw the girl I had started dating changed her Facebook relationship status to "In a relationship". Naturally, I changed mine too. The next time I logged on, she had commented, "Really?! Who?!" She was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 778

You deserved it 5 951

By danthecomplicate - 29/09/2011 02:28 - United States

Today, my girlfriend changed her relationship status on Facebook to 'It's Complicated' because I didn't give her my last cookie. This happens all the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 272

You deserved it 12 474

By fmfb - 07/06/2011 23:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend got into my Facebook and changed our relationship status to single just to see which of my friends would "like" it. After revealing to me what she did, she now says I can no longer be friends with anyone who liked it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 667

You deserved it 6 264

Two-stroke

By sushichick - 15/04/2020 12:00 - United States - San Jose

Today, my boyfriend posted a status on Facebook saying what a great girlfriend he had. Flattered, I commented on it, saying that I felt the same about him. Turns out he was talking about his other girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 762

You deserved it 258

By mee - 11/11/2015 17:10 - United States - Providence

Today, my girlfriend informed me that we aren't officially dating until she changes her Facebook relationship status. We've been "dating" for 3 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 210

You deserved it 1 867

callargh 0

Monday 17 August 2009 1:49

At least she didn't tweet it?

geesquared 0

Monday 17 August 2009 1:49

you're doing something wrong if she's uh bored.

Comments

mxmarielle 0

Monday 17 August 2009 4:38

brian? lol

okami36 2

Monday 17 August 2009 4:39

Next time, pull out and shove it in her ass. That should get her attention back on you.

iHaveNoLife88 0

Monday 17 August 2009 4:48

LMAO! That is funny!

spicy4u 0

Monday 17 August 2009 4:56

i had to read that 4 times b4 i noticed "in"

rainangel484 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 3:55

I didn't realize it said "in" until I just read your comment.

Eschen515 0

Monday 17 August 2009 4:59

And u let ur pick up her cell phone or what ever she used in the middle of sex? Ydi for being a pussy

prettykitty123 0

Monday 17 August 2009 5:23

Can someone please explain this to me? I don't get it):

prettykitty123 0

Monday 17 August 2009 5:29

Ou wait I just noticed the "in"

molitov 0

Monday 17 August 2009 5:33

dump her... she has a severe addiction.. or lack of interest.. but out of curiosity.. what did she put as her status?

kirbyfan23 0

Monday 17 August 2009 5:47

OMG while you were in her? Your girlfriend ate you?! LOL JK, but at least you had sex. So semi-stop complaining.

Bridge123 0

Monday 17 August 2009 5:51

What did it say???

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I asked out a girl I’ve been hanging out with for a few months. She said, “That’s kind of gross.” When I asked her about, it she said, “My friends will think you’re creepy” followed by, “You’re not actually a creep, they say you look like one.” I groom myself every day like a normal person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 101

Today, I was working at the pharmacy and had a older man come in. He was buying Viagra and, by law, we are required to ask if the patient had any questions. His lovely response was, "When you coming over so I can test this stuff out?" His wife and daughter thought it was hilarious. I could've died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 847

You deserved it 635

The Top

Today, I got a letter from Yale law school saying I got a 4 year full scholarship. I called my dad crying and read the whole thing... even the bottom, which said, "April fools! Love mom and dad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 280

You deserved it 6 522

Today, I got yelled at for not taking an order correctly at work. I've been washing dishes all day and haven't taken a single order. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 180

You deserved it 870

Today, I was spending Saint Patrick's Day with my girlfriend, when she started pinching me for not wearing green. To my complete shock, when she pinched my nipple, I got the biggest, most noticeable erection I've ever had in my life, and no matter what I did, it wouldn't go away. We were in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 575

You deserved it 9 399

Today, I co-starred in a production of Hamlet. Halfway through play, the actor playing Hamlet forgot his lines, threw a raging temper tantrum, screaming about how much he hated the play and how he wanted to go home in front of hundreds of audience members. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 095

You deserved it 3 533

Today, my brother celebrated 10 years of denying I exist with a Facebook post celebrating “My departed brother.” I’ve been self-secluded for 10 years with schizophrenia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 959

You deserved it 139

Today, my friend brought four full grown hemp plants home. They cost $100 a pop; meanwhile he still owes $25 from a Lyft ride he claims he can’t pay back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 711

You deserved it 128