Today, my girlfriend thinks my house is filled with ghosts. She can only hear them when I fart. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Same thing different taste
Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML
Today, my girlfriend managed to trap a fart in her nightgown and carry it all the way from the bathroom, into our bedroom, and finally into our bed. FML
Today, I found dog poop in my room that had probably been there for days. My girlfriend, who was watching the house, said she didn't realize it was there, because she thought it was the smell of her own farts. FML
Today, I found out that every time my girlfriend takes a big dump, she pretends as if she's giving birth and screams uncontrollably. I just moved in with her. FML
It's a gas gas gas
Today, it took a whole year to convince my girlfriend to sleep in the same bed as me, because she was afraid she’d fart. Every time, I assured her she was just being paranoid. Turns out, she farts more than anyone I’ve ever slept with. Combined. FML
Don't answer
Today, I thought I felt my cellphone vibrating. Turned out it was just my girlfriend letting out a vicious fart against my leg. FML
Occam's razor
Today, my girlfriend tried explaining a duck flying into our living room and taking a shit everywhere as "paranormal activity". FML
Ouch!
Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML
Today, when I was at my girlfriend's house, I farted and blamed it on the cat. I forgot the cat died 2 weeks ago. FML
Top comments
Miss_Michaela 10
At least it wasn't a huge, junk-rattling fart.
icic6772 0
Ghost fart!!!
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Comments (145)
sandybaybe 3
Hilarious!!
o0malicecat0o 4
Bahahaha!!! That's hilarious!!!
YourHuckleberry 0
You should mess with her a little. Make her think your place is really haunted.
dontpanic_fml 32
I don't think she needs any help there...
Holy_ish 19
Lol sounds like paranormal activity 4 is ready to be made
shanster 3
At least she can't smell them? And if she ever does then blame those on the ghosts too! You have a perfect scapegoat, use it to your advantage.
Savra_fml 17
Is it more than 1 ghost if you shart?
woww2011 3
Stop farting.
SirEBC 7
WHO YOU GUNNA CALL?! Other OP's boyfriend's dad when you're ready to feel what a real man can do to you! Doesn't quite have the same ring to it. :(
melibear89 7
Fail
SirEBC 7
:(
Anthony94_fml 7
*fart* "its those voices again!"
Lubpynk 0
You need to get your ass checked or your girl needs to get her head checked! probably the strangest FML lol but funny