Miscellaneous: Today, my girlfriend thinks my house is filled with ghosts. She...

By Tyler Smith - 03/11/2011 11:48 - United States

Today, my girlfriend thinks my house is filled with ghosts. She can only hear them when I fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 395

You deserved it 5 723

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Same thing different taste

By pikachu - 20/01/2009 20:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 566

You deserved it 4 531

By CHStennis_4 - 03/09/2011 04:48 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 297

You deserved it 3 863

By Gas-pingForAir - 19/09/2016 08:59 - United States - Columbia

Today, my girlfriend managed to trap a fart in her nightgown and carry it all the way from the bathroom, into our bedroom, and finally into our bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 768

You deserved it 1 668

By Anonymous - 30/08/2015 00:06 - Canada - Newmarket

Today, I found dog poop in my room that had probably been there for days. My girlfriend, who was watching the house, said she didn't realize it was there, because she thought it was the smell of her own farts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 694

You deserved it 2 201

By poopydaddy - 03/05/2013 11:32 - Canada - Oakville

Today, I found out that every time my girlfriend takes a big dump, she pretends as if she's giving birth and screams uncontrollably. I just moved in with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 862

You deserved it 5 656

It's a gas gas gas

By wtf?? - 17/01/2022 02:02

Today, it took a whole year to convince my girlfriend to sleep in the same bed as me, because she was afraid she’d fart. Every time, I assured her she was just being paranoid. Turns out, she farts more than anyone I’ve ever slept with. Combined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 165

You deserved it 493

Don't answer

By Anonymous - 10/11/2014 14:28 - Germany - Berlin

Today, I thought I felt my cellphone vibrating. Turned out it was just my girlfriend letting out a vicious fart against my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 604

You deserved it 5 800

Occam's razor

By Anonymous - 20/11/2013 01:09 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, my girlfriend tried explaining a duck flying into our living room and taking a shit everywhere as "paranormal activity". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 727

You deserved it 3 762

Ouch!

By P0wned - 29/09/2009 21:21 - France

Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 961

You deserved it 5 269

By kittydead - 29/01/2009 01:05 - Canada

Today, when I was at my girlfriend's house, I farted and blamed it on the cat. I forgot the cat died 2 weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 933

You deserved it 37 293

Miss_Michaela 10

Thursday 3 November 2011 16:15

At least it wasn't a huge, junk-rattling fart.

icic6772 0

Thursday 3 November 2011 16:13

Ghost fart!!!

Comments

sandybaybe 3

Thursday 3 November 2011 16:37

Hilarious!!

o0malicecat0o 4

Thursday 3 November 2011 16:41

Bahahaha!!! That's hilarious!!!

YourHuckleberry 0

Thursday 3 November 2011 16:44

You should mess with her a little. Make her think your place is really haunted.

dontpanic_fml 32

Thursday 3 November 2011 21:54

I don't think she needs any help there...

Holy_ish 19

Thursday 3 November 2011 17:00

Lol sounds like paranormal activity 4 is ready to be made

shanster 3

Thursday 3 November 2011 17:01

At least she can't smell them? And if she ever does then blame those on the ghosts too! You have a perfect scapegoat, use it to your advantage.

Savra_fml 17

Thursday 3 November 2011 17:03

Is it more than 1 ghost if you shart?

woww2011 3

Thursday 3 November 2011 17:06

Stop farting.

SirEBC 7

Thursday 3 November 2011 17:08

WHO YOU GUNNA CALL?! Other OP's boyfriend's dad when you're ready to feel what a real man can do to you! Doesn't quite have the same ring to it. :(

melibear89 7

Thursday 3 November 2011 18:39

Fail

SirEBC 7

Thursday 3 November 2011 19:36

Anthony94_fml 7

Thursday 3 November 2011 17:14

*fart* "its those voices again!"

Lubpynk 0

Thursday 3 November 2011 17:14

You need to get your ass checked or your girl needs to get her head checked! probably the strangest FML lol but funny

Keywords

Embarrassing Love Awkward Family Weddings Public freakouts Bodyshaming AITA Transportation Cops Cars Kids Sexism Relatable Work Growing old Health Mental health Animals Cats Periods Job interview Education Social Media Stalker Instagram Spiders Ironic Phobias Bikes

The Top

Today, my wife was screaming at our son over his maths homework, so I poked my nose in to help calm them down. My wife was not happy when I pointed out that most of her calculations and answers were wrong, whereas our son got most of his right. I’m now in the doghouse because my wife can’t count. FML

I agree, your life sucks 593

You deserved it 72

Today, my boss made me run yet another stupid errand. When I delivered the paperwork to his office, I saw an email printout on his desk. Apparently, he has a plan in the works to get me "fried" next month. I'm not sure whether to give him a letter of resignation or a bottle of barbecue sauce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 360

You deserved it 2 739

The Top

Today, it’s been 20 years since my then girlfriend of 2 weeks fell asleep while I was going down on her. She claimed it was because she was so ‘relaxed’ with me. I married her anyway. Now, she’s still very, very ‘relaxed’ with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 408

Today, after I invited my friend to a movie and she cancelled on me because she had to study, I obviously agreed and cancelled our tickets, I was scrolling through Instagram stories and came across hers, and saw she was with one of her friends in that same movie theater. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 302

You deserved it 101

Today, I ran into my husband and his mistress. He was picking her up at the airport. I was catching a flight to a conference with my boss. He had flowers for her, and his arm around her. My boss knows my husband as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 038

You deserved it 91

Today, I learned how much it hurts to put a mint up your nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 231

You deserved it 54 803

Today, I found out I have an incredible fear of butterflies. I discovered this after my mother took me to a butterfly sanctuary for some "mother-daughter bonding time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 604

You deserved it 3 756

Today, I lost the key to my bike lock. I ended up having to cut it off, even though it was brand new. After spending 30 minutes hacking away at it, it finally came off. When I hopped onto my bike, I felt something poking my leg. My key was in my pocket the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 833

You deserved it 20 921