Today, my girlfriend texted me, telling me to come home quickly, because she had a "surprise" waiting for me. I convinced my boss to let me go home, and rushed out. Turns out the "surprise" was just that she'd bought herself a pet bunny. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I got off work early to go home and surprise my girlfriend with lunch, only to come home to her in the middle of packing up all of her stuff. FML
Today, my wife told me she had a surprise for me when I came home. Surprise to me means sex, not a new puppy. FML
Today, I walked outside to see my boyfriend standing on my porch, looking confused. He explained to me that he had attached a prom proposal note to his pet rabbit, and let it inside my house to find me. We went looking for said rabbit, and found my dog halfway through eating it. FML
Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday. To surprise her, I told her that I was going away on business, and could not be there on her birthday. When I show up at her house to surprise her with a present and cake, she opens the door in her underwear, beside a man in his boxers. She was surprised. FML
Today, my girlfriend called me and told me she "had a surprise for me when I got home" in a sexy voice. So I hurried home, only to find a note saying she left me and took my dog. Deeply depressed, I went into the living room. She took my TV also. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was coming over for a surprise visit. I quickly tidied up, but not before shoving all my dirty laundry under the bed. When she arrived, she brought her dog in. Her dog immediately sniffed out the laundry and dragged my most embarrassing underwear into the living room while her parents watched. FML
Today, I got home from a long day at work, hoping to just fix dinner and relax, only to find that my cat had come into the house with a rabbit, and is now stuck underneath the cabinet. FML
Today, I secretly took a day off work, since I had to use up my vacation, and wanted a "me day." My wife called, and I was ready to pretend to be at work. Too bad the cat decided to come up behind me and meow loudly, alerting my wife that I was home. She's pissed. FML
Today, my wife suddenly texted me to meet her halfway between our house and the supermarket. I immediately put my shoes on and started walking, eager to get to her as fast as I could to surprise her. Turns out she was carrying three heavy bags and yelled at me for being slow and by foot. FML
Today, at work I got an urgent message from my boyfriend that there was an emergency and I should come home immediately. I took my last personal day of the month and drove the half-hour home. The emergency? The cat had vomited on the comforter. FML
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Top comments
billiejoeinabox 7
I don't see a downside to this.
glabberfasted 16
You got out of work early AND you get to play with a bunny? Sounds like a good day to me
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Comments (90)
TheRealPitBoss 17
I call that marriage! Wife got me several times over the years!
Ksweety_fml 27
Put it like this Op, at least you got off work early, and your girlfriend was just excited. Easter is coming up....
worldclassrager 39
A bunny is a great suprise...
KatyLarae 13
What else is there to expect?
illegalbeagle69 23
Ehh.. ehh.. they ain't nothing but mammals he wants to do it like they do on the disvovery channel.. ;););) 8-----D()----(:
EvilLittleMan 23
You rushed home thinking you were going to spend time with the kitty but all you got was a little bunny. Please share the name of the new **** blocker.
YellowKettleBell 31
Now all we need are some taters.
plunkit 6
THAT'S a threesome.
hunteryager 18
THAT'S gross.
mintyowlgirl 20
I have a rabbit and I assure you its worth it
ViviMage 39
What's taters, Precious? What taters, ehh??
DanielleinDC 33
Your girlfriend is an idiot. Unless it's a real emergency, she really shouldn't try to get you out of work early. She also should not have brought a pet into the home without 1) doing proper research on the animal and 2) consulting with you.
mikbrooke 25
who says she hasnt done proper research?
Epikouros 31
#48: you must be fun at what goes for parties in DC!
DanielleinDC 33
I'm going to guess that anyone dumb and/or inconsiderate enough to tell her boyfriend to come home quickly to show the pet bunny she bought (I'm guessing she didn't adopt?) is probably dumb enough to have bought said bunny without proper research.