By djurmel89 - 07/06/2016 16:48 - Germany

Today, a violent attack of diarrhea send me running to the bathroom moments after I put my dinner in the oven. I made it out just in time to enjoy a lovely bowl of coal. FML
I agree, your life sucks 11 154
You deserved it 1 102

djurmel89 tells us more.

Wow, just wow. I want to thank my parents and my friends for their love and support and I also want to thank my pants for never letting me down... Now seriously. Hi, I'm the OP and I'm so surprised this got posted. I'm much better now. This happened yesterday after work. I put the stuff in the oven and gave my cats a fresh bowl of wet food when I felt my stomach pressing the red button for alarm. At the end I could not only not leave the bathroom, I sat there while my apartment filled with a decent amount of smoke since my oven is fairly old. Finally the smoke detectors went off and gave the whole situation the best soundtrack possible. I'm a quit unlucky person, so this stuff happens all the time. After I finally left the bathroom I opened all the windows and doors and ate some cereal instead. Thanks for the comments so far. I will keep reading.

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Better than eating a bowl of whatever caused that attack in the first place

I love eating burnt toast. But that's because I fucked up the very first time when I made toast. It was all I knew how to make growing up and I needed to feed myself. So I grew to love the taste of burnt crispness.

Comments

Well I guess you will probably be eating out tonight...

That's what she said.

Santa came a little early, don't you think?

Activated carbon is good for you when you have diarrhea. You have everything you need to make it.

Mungolikecandy 19

Charcoal is good for the stomach.

That sounds so delicious, you should know that some countries would love to eat coal for dinner. No but seriously, this is the kind of stuff that would happen to me. If the food in the oven takes less than 10-15 minutes I just take it out quickly and will put it in after because you have no idea how long you'll be confined to the bathroom for. Hopefully there was an alternative meal available.

Hope you feel better OP!

Better than eating a bowl of whatever caused that attack in the first place

Wow, just wow. I want to thank my parents and my friends for their love and support and I also want to thank my pants for never letting me down... Now seriously. Hi, I'm the OP and I'm so surprised this got posted. I'm much better now. This happened yesterday after work. I put the stuff in the oven and gave my cats a fresh bowl of wet food when I felt my stomach pressing the red button for alarm. At the end I could not only not leave the bathroom, I sat there while my apartment filled with a decent amount of smoke since my oven is fairly old. Finally the smoke detectors went off and gave the whole situation the best soundtrack possible. I'm a quit unlucky person, so this stuff happens all the time. After I finally left the bathroom I opened all the windows and doors and ate some cereal instead. Thanks for the comments so far. I will keep reading.

I love eating burnt toast. But that's because I fucked up the very first time when I made toast. It was all I knew how to make growing up and I needed to feed myself. So I grew to love the taste of burnt crispness.

Always set a timer. Always. Better to find your food cold and have to re-heat it, than finding your food burnt and having to either torture yourself by eating it or throw it out.

You, sir, are a poet. High-five to your story!

#12 That's not the issue at hand...

#12 that is completely irrelevant to this situation....

How does a timer help in this situation? A reminder the food was cooking wasn't needed. the problem was not being able to leave the bathroom. that timer just keeps beeping!

#13 and a high five to you, too, sir. Some might consider me as a lady-poet, but I won't bring any gender-bathroom-issues into this. But thanks anyway.

#12 Well that wouldn't have changed anything. Also I mentioned how my oven is really old. It doesn't have a function to stop itself after a certain time. But there was lots of beeping anyway, thanks to my well functioning smoke detectors. I think I have enough of this now.

I meant a timer built into the oven, which automatically turns it off when it's done. I've never seen an oven without it. But OP now says he's doesn't have it so who am I to argue? Still, I think it's fair to assume an oven would have a built-in timer, regardless of age. It's a fairly ubiquitous feature.

#20 You must be very young if you've never seen an oven without a timer. Have you only seen ones with buttons as well?

At the risk of sounding ignorant, OP: why didn't you just turn off the oven before you ran to the bathroom?

#20 You are a 22 year old male from Israel. You have never seen an oven without a built in timer? Fair enough. I bought it 9 years ago when I moved out, from a store that sold used furniture and electronics. I really have no idea how old it is but I highly doubt it's still far away from a legal drinking age.

#22 you don't sound ignorant. I could have done it, but I didn't expect to be glued to my toilet seconds later.

OP, this is a bit off topic here, but I'm really curious as to what you were cooking.

20 I've owned ovens almost twice your age, and can tell you that a timer on an oven that shuts it off is a relatively new idea on all but the top end older electric ranges and on gas ranges that is still hard to find today.

#25 Leftover lasagne. nothing fancy.

I thought it said you had explosive diarrhea on the bowl, so then it turned to coal :p

It's surprising how idiotic most of the comments on this post are... I've never seen an FML with so many down voted comments. Then there's the people who try and restate a comment that was posted right before them. C'mon people.