Health: Today, my girlfriend and I both developed food poisoning from... - FML

By Anonymous - 12/02/2013 18:43 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I both developed food poisoning from last night's sushi. Our apartment has one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 303

You deserved it 3 317

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By fuuuuuh - 20/07/2012 05:47 - United States - Santa Cruz

Today, my family of five and I decided to have homemade sushi. We did not prepare the fish correctly, and now we all have excruciating food poisoning. The worst part? We only have one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 792

You deserved it 30 918

By AW - 10/01/2011 12:48

Today, my husband and I are both suffering from food poisoning. He has horrible, raging, rank smelling, explosive diarrhea; I am vomiting every 15 minutes. We have one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 650

You deserved it 3 034

By shattysituation - 31/12/2012 22:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 380

You deserved it 4 049

By shroooms - 28/07/2011 20:37 - Slovenia

Today, my entire family, myself included, has been turned into a collective diarrhea fountain after going out to eat. We only have one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 722

You deserved it 3 070

By Anonymous - 06/09/2018 14:30

Today, I and several housemates have food poisoning. From what? Last night's Subway, which we only got to avoid eating the pork that was possibly bad as none of us wanted to be sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 570

You deserved it 269

By I stink - 18/12/2018 15:30

Today, my boyfriend and I were finally able to settle on having a day out together after putting it off for months because of work/other random reasons. This morning I woke up with the worst case of diarrhea I’ve ever had in my life. I won’t be leaving the bathroom anytime soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 348

You deserved it 225

By takeshi - 05/08/2018 20:30

Today, I took my girlfriend to a restaurant we both like. By the end of the date, we were fighting and she angrily broke up with me. To make things worse, I got food poisoning. She didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 271

You deserved it 296

Living the dream

By notyourcleaner - 13/01/2015 11:06 - Malaysia - Puchong

Today, my new roommate puked into the sink and all over the bathroom floor, before passing out on her bed. Apparently, she was awake enough to wash her own face but not clean up her vomit. We share the bathroom. This is the second time already. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 140

You deserved it 2 690

Two rooms, two atmospheres

By Anonymous - 26/11/2020 16:58

Today, I tried to cook a nice meal for my sister's friends. It turned out perfect and they enjoyed it, while I was in the bathroom throwing up for two hours due to food poisoning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 792

You deserved it 149

Cringe

By mikesok988 - 07/05/2009 07:40 - United States

Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 468

You deserved it 4 808

Next

Top comments

EnterSandman_fml 20

Wednesday 13 February 2013 0:54

Come on, almost every guy is a genital man.

SystemofaBlink41 27

Wednesday 13 February 2013 0:41

Don't forget to flush...

Comments

foisted 6

Wednesday 13 February 2013 2:36

Thats what you get for eating raw fish.

leadawg75 12

Wednesday 13 February 2013 5:07

No one ever said it was raw.

KalCountry76 12

Wednesday 13 February 2013 2:40

Time to go find your makeshift chamberpot.

KalCountry76 12

Wednesday 13 February 2013 2:42

Time to find a makeshift chamberpot

danial1214 21

Wednesday 13 February 2013 3:05

If i were you i would worry about running out of toilet paper ...... Let the hunger games begin!

Kenton1008 21

Wednesday 13 February 2013 3:08

39, What do you think sushi is?

Sputnikspak 13

Wednesday 13 February 2013 3:16

59: Sushi is, by definition, the combination of the specific preparation of sushi rice and other ingredients - that does NOT have to include raw fish. We've made sushi with teriyaki chicken in it before. You can get plain avocado rolls, or an entire vegetarian meal. Sashimi is raw fish. I've never been sick from sushi, and I eat TONS of the stuff (I worked two doors down from a cheap, awesome sushi place, I ate there almost daily for a year). Anyone I've known who has been sick from sushi, got it from mayonnaise. I'm allergic to eggs, so never eat sushi with mayo in it.

perdix 29

Wednesday 13 February 2013 3:44

His and Hers butt plugs. You're welcome.

iamananglophile 18

Wednesday 13 February 2013 3:47

I know that feel, bro.

theboy13 13

Wednesday 13 February 2013 4:00

Sharing is caring

wickedclimber 5

Wednesday 13 February 2013 4:06

i guess you're just going to have to do it bridesmaids style then.

1
2
3
4
5
6
7

Keywords

Video games Annoying Gamers Birthday Money Cute Kids Love Health Weird Awkward Relatable Abuse Social Media Scams Parents School Education Anger issues Teenagers Family Miscellaneous Relationship advice Capitalism Public freakouts Grieving Mental health Music Geek Poopoo peepee

The Top

Today, I just learned that the silly song my parents taught me as a small child, and would sometimes make me sing for the family, is actually a very thinly veiled series of penis jokes. Why just now? Because I hadn't thought about it for years, until my grandma brought it up at a reunion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 74

Today, we had two of our longest serving coworkers retire at the company I work at, and they hired two young prospects to replace them. The problem? They asked me to train them both for the next 4 months, cancelling my PTO in the process, and then I learned they were being paid nearly 20% more than I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 559

You deserved it 78

The Top

Today, in the early hours of the morning, my cat started scratching at my legs. I got out of bed and he raced me to the stairs, tripping me. I fell all the way down and landed in cat poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 608

You deserved it 5 831

Today, someone took my phone away. Why? Because I was texting my ex-boyfriend who cheated on me with one of my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 578

You deserved it 3 427

Today, my mom tried to give me advice on how to improve my looks. I scoffed at her but listened to her advice anyway. She ended her tirade with, "I just want you to get laid someday." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 176

You deserved it 3 645

Today, I caught my roommate trying to use my flashlight as a dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 279

You deserved it 4 478

Today, I was talking to myself in the bathroom to remind myself of what chores I need to do. My husband overheard me and is now convinced that I was on the phone with someone. No amount of proof, logic or reasoning can convince him that I'm not cheating on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 880

You deserved it 2 293

Today, I got a better job offer out of the blue, more pay, less work. I informally accepted and handed my notice as legally required. They rescinded the job offer. I'm now unemployed at the end of hiring season. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 012

You deserved it 233