Health: Today, my girlfriend and I both developed food poisoning from... - FML

By Anonymous - 12/02/2013 18:43 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I both developed food poisoning from last night's sushi. Our apartment has one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 303

You deserved it 3 317

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By fuuuuuh - 20/07/2012 05:47 - United States - Santa Cruz

Today, my family of five and I decided to have homemade sushi. We did not prepare the fish correctly, and now we all have excruciating food poisoning. The worst part? We only have one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 792

You deserved it 30 918

By AW - 10/01/2011 12:48

Today, my husband and I are both suffering from food poisoning. He has horrible, raging, rank smelling, explosive diarrhea; I am vomiting every 15 minutes. We have one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 650

You deserved it 3 034

By shattysituation - 31/12/2012 22:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 380

You deserved it 4 049

By shroooms - 28/07/2011 20:37 - Slovenia

Today, my entire family, myself included, has been turned into a collective diarrhea fountain after going out to eat. We only have one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 722

You deserved it 3 070

By Anonymous - 06/09/2018 14:30

Today, I and several housemates have food poisoning. From what? Last night's Subway, which we only got to avoid eating the pork that was possibly bad as none of us wanted to be sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 570

You deserved it 269

By I stink - 18/12/2018 15:30

Today, my boyfriend and I were finally able to settle on having a day out together after putting it off for months because of work/other random reasons. This morning I woke up with the worst case of diarrhea I’ve ever had in my life. I won’t be leaving the bathroom anytime soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 348

You deserved it 225

By takeshi - 05/08/2018 20:30

Today, I took my girlfriend to a restaurant we both like. By the end of the date, we were fighting and she angrily broke up with me. To make things worse, I got food poisoning. She didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 271

You deserved it 296

Living the dream

By notyourcleaner - 13/01/2015 11:06 - Malaysia - Puchong

Today, my new roommate puked into the sink and all over the bathroom floor, before passing out on her bed. Apparently, she was awake enough to wash her own face but not clean up her vomit. We share the bathroom. This is the second time already. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 140

You deserved it 2 690

Two rooms, two atmospheres

By Anonymous - 26/11/2020 16:58

Today, I tried to cook a nice meal for my sister's friends. It turned out perfect and they enjoyed it, while I was in the bathroom throwing up for two hours due to food poisoning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 792

You deserved it 149

Cringe

By mikesok988 - 07/05/2009 07:40 - United States

Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 468

You deserved it 4 808

Next

Top comments

EnterSandman_fml 20

Wednesday 13 February 2013 0:54

Come on, almost every guy is a genital man.

SystemofaBlink41 27

Wednesday 13 February 2013 0:41

Don't forget to flush...

Comments

Satoaoi 13

Wednesday 13 February 2013 7:52

that's why you do research about the place your eating at and it's food history

upallnight11 19

Wednesday 13 February 2013 12:04

That's the definition of a shitty situation, but you can always share the toiletseat. Let's make it quality time.

abu4u 26

Wednesday 13 February 2013 12:25

Ladies first!

djxerxes9000 18

Wednesday 13 February 2013 12:51

Wait, girls poop!?

rvnclwprfct731 13

Wednesday 13 February 2013 15:10

That's when one of you uses the tub and you never speak of it again.

whY402Jay 12

Wednesday 13 February 2013 17:39

I'm guessing you never saw that movie "Bridesmaids".

prongs54 10

Thursday 14 February 2013 0:00

Might have to pull a bridesmaids and use the sink

slapsface 10

Thursday 14 February 2013 3:21

Shit happens

Sputnikspak 13

Thursday 14 February 2013 9:32

92: My brother doesn't like sushi rice either. My boyfriend didn't, but after a few tries, now he loves it. It can be an acquired taste for some people, but some people downright hate it. When I first tried sushi, it was the pickled ginger that threw me off. It tasted like soap! But now I like it. Cooked seafood also awesome. I made a tasty lobster bisque earlier this week. Dill and saffron, beautiful.

The_F3rris 11

Thursday 14 February 2013 17:22

To the sink! To the sink! Hope theres no chunks!

3
4
5
6
7

Keywords

Gamers Annoying Video games Kids Birthday Money Cute Weird Awkward Health Love Abuse Relatable Scams Social Media School Education Parents Anger issues Teenagers Family Relationship advice Capitalism Miscellaneous Public freakouts Mental health Grieving Geek Music Poopoo peepee

The Top

Today, my parents used to tell that me life gets way better after high school. Yeah, for everyone else at my school. They’re partying it up in college or travelling during gap years, meeting all sorts of people. I have to work more than full time because my parents kicked me out the week after I graduated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 95

Today, I was having sex with a girl when her parents decided to come home early. Trying to run out the back door I fell and broke my ankle. Not only did her former Navy Seal father find out I was banging his little princess, he drove me to the ER, alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 837

You deserved it 30 760

The Top

Today, I discovered the importance of having sex before marriage. We found out that my husband is gay on our wedding night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 929

You deserved it 1 642

Today, I had to explain to my 35-year-old husband that "Honda" and "Hyundai" are two separate car companies, not to two different pronunciations of the same one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 203

You deserved it 2 148

Today, I received my first Valentine's day present ever: a dead mouse from my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 075

You deserved it 3 757

Today, I managed to not think too much about how alone I feel living in a strange city, and I went out to find a quiet place to write and eat. After I ordered my meal, I saw that I was the only diner that was sitting alone at a table. Then "All By Myself" came on the radio. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 270

You deserved it 3 654

Today, after a badly misjudged hand signal, I accidentally hit my boss in the face instead of high-fiving her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 219

You deserved it 3 162

Today, I was sitting on park bench eating a sandwich when suddenly the bench broke and I fell and broke my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 976

You deserved it 100