Money: Today, my friend paypal'd me some money to tide me over until...

By Jordan - 29/05/2009 13:15 - United States

Today, my friend paypal'd me some money to tide me over until my school loans come through. For a transaction description, he wrote "to get back in that pussy game." It got red flagged, and I had to talk with three female customer service agents before it went through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 817

You deserved it 4 536

Money

Money, well, get back, I'm alright Jack…

Hiding from the drama

Own it

By doomed - 21/04/2011 02:45 - United States

Today, I got a letter from my mother-in-law stating that demons made her spread rumors about me all over my hometown before my wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 937

You deserved it 2 499

By Anonymous - 27/11/2010 15:32 - Canada

Today, I went downtown with my friends. A group of guys came up to us and started hitting on everyone but me. Then, one of them said: "Do you girls hang out with her to make yourselves look better?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 760

You deserved it 3 847

By Anonymous - 03/08/2015 15:29 - United States

Today, a bunch of friends and I went skinny dipping in a pond. The guys all grabbed the ladies' underpants and waved then around. My bloody pad was inside of one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 805

You deserved it 15 346

By meeeee! - 02/03/2015 13:26 - United States - Wilmington

Today, I fell out of a window while trying to close it so no one would fall out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 463

You deserved it 4 715

By Backseatseller - 15/09/2009 05:35 - New Zealand

Today, I was at work, and some people came in looking for a particular couch. After looking for over an hour on the wholesalers website my boss walks over, makes me take my lunch break and then calls over the couple and takes all the credit for the sale. We work on commission. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 541

You deserved it 3 107

Same joke, different year

By joleezad5 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Nixa

Today, while watching the Olympics, my father found it completely necessary to make a farting sound every single time an athlete jumps or bends over. This will be a very long few weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 150

You deserved it 2 458

By Stupidteach - 11/11/2009 12:47 - United States

Today, I asked my father for some help paying my college tuition. He told me he'd help me after I become more accredited than he is. My father has 2 PHDs. I'm studying to be an elementary school teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 007

You deserved it 3 928

By KarolBee - 14/05/2009 06:48 - United States

Today, I was spending time with my boyfriend for our one year anniversary. Trying to be romantic, I told him that I loved him and I was so glad I was with him. He responded by giving me a thumbs-up and turning back to the TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 656

You deserved it 6 472

By still together - 28/08/2013 17:47 - United States - Keansburg

Today, my sister announced that she and her boyfriend are getting married. Her boyfriend is my husband. We're not even legally divorced yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 959

You deserved it 4 343

By desperate - 26/09/2009 14:15 - Denmark

Today, while at a club, I walked up to a cutie who had been eyeing me all night. I asked him "Is that a phone in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?". He simply replied "It's a phone" before walking away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 024

You deserved it 52 111

Cheeky!

By Anonymous - 03/08/2014 05:16 - Australia - Perth

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 103

You deserved it 23 572

By Doggotmytongue - 12/02/2013 21:50 - United States - Peoria

Today, a cute girl asked if my dog was available for a date on Valentine's Day. Thinking I was in luck, I asked if I should come along. She said no. My dog has better game than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 303

You deserved it 6 720

Thanks, great feedback everyone!

By Anonymous - 27/01/2021 23:01

Today, after years of not meeting my partner's family, along with the new arrival of our daughter, we decided to travel to meet them all and introduce our bundle of joy. Instead of the usual welcoming committee, all they could go on about was whether or not my daughter was his because of how fair toned she is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 849

You deserved it 86

By Anonymous - 15/06/2011 00:59 - United States

Today, my professor handed me back a paper I spent hours upon hours working on. At the bottom in red it said "D" followed by, "that was a gift." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 732

You deserved it 7 992

By Nalya - 27/12/2008 10:26 - France

Today, my fiancé told me, that after 7 years together, he is no longer in love with me. Shocked and appalled, I ask him if he has anything else to add. "Happy Birthday". FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 884

You deserved it 2 062

Apple juice, motherfucker

By Anonymous - 05/11/2012 17:01 - United States - Silver Spring

Today, at daycare, a little girl cussed me out because I didn't have any apple juice left. When I called her parents, they sided with her and cussed me out too. My boss refused to sympathize, and reprimanded me for not making sure we still had apple juice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 721

You deserved it 2 866

By Anonymous - 16/07/2009 06:15 - United States

Today, at the end of a night of heavy drinking, I decided it was a good idea to go off into the park with a friend of mine. We ended up fooling around in the park, when a couple of kids stole our clothes. We had to walk back to town with no clothes on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 499

You deserved it 74 093

By 12345678 - 31/12/2009 08:01 - United States

Today, I logged onto Facebook and saw that I had a message from my ex boyfriend. It's only been two weeks since we broke up and I assumed he sent me a message begging for me to take him back. He wanted to apologize for sleeping with my sister last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 445

You deserved it 5 681

By nhyari - 25/08/2014 18:58 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, my girlfriend got her period. It seemed more painful for her than usual, so I offered to go out and buy some painkillers and maybe some chocolate for her. She thought I was being sarcastic and slapped me so hard I saw stars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 055

You deserved it 4 140

By O.o - 20/02/2011 08:15 - Australia

Today, while trying on bras in the changing room, I wanted to see what my friend's bra looked like on her. Not wishing to leave my changing room in my underwear, I wriggled under her door. When I got through, my bra had come nearly all the way down and when I tried getting back, I got stuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 429

You deserved it 45 649

His type

By hannieannie - 12/07/2020 02:02

Today, I had my hair done for the first time in 3 years. I loved it. My boyfriend told me I look like his ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 462

You deserved it 160

Clean break

By Anonymous - 28/09/2020 11:02

Today, I'd taken this girl I'd recently met through Facebook dating to my family cabin. Apparently, her hygiene wasn't that great, because she didn't shower all weekend. The entire 4-hour ride back to her house was miserable, as every time she opened up her legs it smelled like a dead rat. I'm still mortified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 341

You deserved it 302

It's a valid lifestyle!

By annoyed - 17/09/2021 08:00 - United States

Today, my friends and I were finally able to meet up for lunch, amidst all of our busy schedules. We had fun talking and catching up about marriage, kids and careers. One friend decided to cause a huge scene though, because apparently we didn’t take her being a stay at home “dog mom” seriously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 910

You deserved it 120

By smh - 10/09/2015 06:09 - Canada

Today, after coming home from a long day at work, I found out that in a house full of 5 adults, some rules still need to be set. The newest addition to the rules: No watching porn and jerking off in the living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 635

You deserved it 2 258

Let it all out

By Anonymous - 24/05/2020 17:00

Today, I had too much to eat at dinner. I had to cut sexy time with my husband short because I couldn't do it. I feel bad because it's his birthday today but we stopped. I then proceeded to throw up everything I ate today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 403

You deserved it 596

By tony1401 - 02/02/2010 16:00 - United States

Today, I got another email from Amazon asking me how I like my new Kindle. I don't have a Kindle. It's the one I bought my ex for Christmas, right before she left me while I was deployed overseas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 818

You deserved it 2 743

By anonymous - 13/09/2012 06:02 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I found an enormous raccoon in my backyard. After a couple of nasty scratches, I finally managed to capture the filthy animal. After calling animal control to relocate it, I waited for hours to learn that "relocating" actually means releasing it into my front yard 10 feet away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 715

You deserved it 4 627

By Anonymous - 07/03/2010 00:32 - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. She pulls out a freezer bag full of condoms and says "I have some cooler ones upstairs, if you want his penis to glow in the dark." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 773

You deserved it 4 568

By anon_smh - 18/02/2016 04:37 - United States - Bozeman

Today, after interviewing for a promotion to a position that was created with me in mind, I eagerly accepted a call from my boss, expecting good news. Turns out, they found a better applicant, who they don't believe will need support from the position I currently hold, so it's being eliminated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 484

You deserved it 1 384

Who knows?

By lilyann - 24/12/2020 08:01 - United States - San Jose

Today, the entire back room of Walmart smelled like cat piss. No one else complained, as they all claimed they couldn’t smell a thing under their masks. I, on the other hand, have a headache and nausea from the overpowering scent despite my mask. FML

I agree, your life sucks 728

You deserved it 91

By warningxxLidell - 09/01/2010 06:45 - United States

Today, I was driving on roads that were bad from two days of snow. I spun my car out, and ended up half-way in a ditch. Thinking that I could push my car out of the snow, I got out of my car, landing in waist deep snow. When trying to get back in, I fell neck deep into snow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 617

You deserved it 6 051

By paranoid neighborhood - 27/11/2013 17:51 - United States - Orlando

Today, I was walking back home from a party, when I received an email from our neighborhood watch. It said to beware, because a "thug-like" stranger with a white shirt and brown hair had entered the neighborhood. My hair is indeed brown and I was wearing a white shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 275

You deserved it 4 212

By Hannah - 17/06/2011 21:24 - Ireland

Today, I made the long drive to work, got out of the car, and realised that I'd forgotten to put shoes on before I left the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 182

You deserved it 33 601

Knackered

By bandeek - 23/10/2016 18:52

Today, my boyfriend and I fell asleep twice during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 962

You deserved it 2 837

By Jograd - 25/09/2012 17:13 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my roommate decided to turn off all appliances in the house to "save" electricity. This included the refrigerator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 774

You deserved it 1 672

By crushed - 30/11/2010 17:46 - United States

Today, I found out my girlfriend had sex with three different guys in one day. All at a party. A party that I was at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 238

You deserved it 7 005

Nice try

By Gog - 26/05/2021 07:59

Today, someone tried to scam me by selling me a ticket to a Chris Cornell concert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 691

You deserved it 86

By Anonymous - 15/06/2013 04:28 - Canada - Calgary

Today, my husband of 3 years learned that he's going to be a father. No, I'm not pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 486

You deserved it 4 239

By Jekyll - 06/08/2019 08:00 - United States - Norwell

Today, I decided that after three days, I had to cut short my hiatus from social media. I saw a correlation between that and my anxiety going through the roof, causing my work performance to suffer. I’m so addicted to social media that in my off time, I think I was having withdrawal symptoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 808

You deserved it 1 217

By Anonymous - 20/05/2016 08:09 - United States - Redding

Today, I found out that someone I once babysat got a girlfriend before I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 222

You deserved it 1 588

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twenty2182 0

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Friday 29 May 2009 20:01

Well has it gotten you back in the game?

rukusrazor 0

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Friday 29 May 2009 20:05

No biggie. I'm sure they thought it was funny once you explained it. All in all, that's a good friend. #3, tell me how the friend is a loser? Seems pretty nice to me.

twenty2182 0

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Friday 29 May 2009 20:01

Well has it gotten you back in the game?

yer_maw 1

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Friday 29 May 2009 20:02

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

star_ver 0

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Friday 29 May 2009 20:04

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

rukusrazor 0

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Friday 29 May 2009 20:05

No biggie. I'm sure they thought it was funny once you explained it. All in all, that's a good friend. #3, tell me how the friend is a loser? Seems pretty nice to me.

mvm89 0

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Friday 29 May 2009 20:07

Haha #1 that sucks, though it did go through so no big deal about talking to 3 people for it

o76923 8

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Friday 29 May 2009 20:08

Really? Its that big of a problem that they have to moderate it?

Siren_00 0

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Friday 29 May 2009 20:09

Haha you have a great friend.

tWitt3rBuG 0

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Friday 29 May 2009 20:13

Your friend's a jerk! I never knew that they monitor that stuff, kewl!

IWillEatYouAlive 16

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Saturday 14 May 2016 1:01

*Cool... Sorry I just can't stand people who spell cool like that

genius_man16 0

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Friday 29 May 2009 20:18

Wait, why do they care what you are getting money for? Let's pretend that the money WAS to pay for a hooker or something, how is that ANY of PayPal's business?