Today, my friend and I went to a club. She said I look hilarious when I dance drunk. I was completely sober. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my alcoholic friend, who is now sober, told me I was a lot more fun when he was drinking. FML
Today, a drunk dude walked up to me and said, "You're ugly as fuck." His sober friend quickly apologized and explained that he was wasted, before looking me up and down and adding, "Well, not completely, I guess." FML
Today, a completely drunk girl walked across the bar and punched me in the face because I was wearing the same dress as her, and her boyfriend had said it looked better on me. While I was screaming at her for being a stupid bitch, she puked all over me, wiped her mouth, and laughed before she passed out. FML
Today, I was at a party and I danced. Judging by people's stares, I should never ever attempt it again. FML
Today, I walked into work after being completly wasted last night. I was sitting in a meeting when all of a sudden the presenter had gotten an e-mail saying "crazy girl dances on tables at local bar". So obviously everyone wanted to watch it. That crazy girl was me. FML
Today, I went to a party that my friends were throwing. I had a great time and got blackout drunk. I woke up to videos from my girlfriend from last night. At some point I'd managed to take off my shorts and boxers and spent the rest of the party naked from the waist down. FML
Today, I went to a party, and the girl I really like started telling me how much she likes me and how she thought we would be good together. I was so drunk I threw up on her. FML
Today, my wife showed me a video she took of me last night. I was shit-faced, dancing half naked to '90s club music in the middle of the street at midnight. She won't stop laughing at me and replaying the video. FML
Today, I was out clubbing. My girlfriend went to get us drinks, so I danced alone while I waited. Some girl with hideous meth mouth, who was clearly tripping balls, started harassing and groping me and got all three of us kicked out when my girlfriend returned and beat the hell out of her. FML
Today, someone told me they liked my personality when I'm drunk. I asked, "What about when I'm sober?". "No, only when you're drinking." FML
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Top comments
anonymuse_fml 31
Don't worry about it. The best thing about clubbing is that everyone always thinks you're drunk so it doesn't matter if you dance horribly.
ScratchCatPower 32
Don't dance too crazily, I guess? FYL.
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Comments (53)
ChristinePi 36
We can dance if we want to. We can leave your friends behind. 'Cause if your friends don't dance and if they don't dance, well they're no friends of mine.
SteveBassist 20
Safety dance!
IridianShadow 20
If they laugh too much, you should just become a comedian and start charging them.
Justincredible69 11
I always dance drunk. it's more fun.
amanda182 19
If you were having fun then who cares.
boultzboi 20
that can be our little secret lol
voodoochild01 7
You're friend was to drunk I guess fhl
worldclassrager 41
You better dance like no one is watching you... ~Inhale Exhale
newyorkerkyle 24
Lol I dance badly too
SirMrButters 28
Then get drunk maybe you'll dance like your sober
G00N3R 19
Take the hint