Love: Today, my father had a dream that he'd lost me forever, and the...

By Anonymous - 30/12/2010 22:28 - United Kingdom

Today, my father had a dream that he'd lost me forever, and the pain was so unbearable, it woke him up. Turns out, the pain he was experiencing was just his bowels and he really needed to take a shit. This is the most affection I've ever received from my father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 016

You deserved it 3 459

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

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Same thing different taste

Pleasant

By daddydaughterWTF - 02/08/2012 00:06 - United States - Port Saint Lucie

Today, after spending five years regaining contact with my estranged father, I finally met him. I tearfully dropped my luggage and ran to hug him. He belched and told me to get in the car, because he had diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 587

You deserved it 2 637

By Anonymous - 02/06/2011 14:10 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad came to visit me. By visit I mean he arrived, took a huge smelly dump and left. This is the first time I've seen my dad in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 000

You deserved it 3 072

No shit

By Anonymous - 26/03/2022 11:00 - Australia - Aspley

Today, I had a dream that I was having one of the best poops of my life. I woke up feeling very content and relaxed, until I rolled over and realised it wasn't a dream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 917

You deserved it 213

By Anonymous - 11/11/2014 18:56 - United States - Dekalb

Today, I walked into my bathroom, only to find my dad passed out on the floor with his pants around his ankles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 089

You deserved it 3 059

Classic

By Anonymous - 15/04/2021 11:00

Today, I had a dream I saw my dad. I tried to talk to him, but then I woke up. He died last Monday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 644

You deserved it 69

Morning conversation

By Anonymous - 15/03/2021 08:01

Today, I went into the bathroom only to discover my dad on the pot. “Oh, sorry”, I say and turn to leave. His reply, “Oh I don’t mind. Just having a shit here.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 690

You deserved it 170

By :// - 05/11/2013 21:01 - United States - Romulus

Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom, only to find my dad sitting on the toilet, blind drunk. He screamed "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" at me. I just wanted to shave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 750

You deserved it 3 744

By EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 - 17/08/2011 16:40 - United States

Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 285

You deserved it 7 523

By mikey51 - 10/03/2012 01:56 - Australia

Today, I was taking a dump, when my dad shouted for me to go wash the dishes. Fed up with his constant shit, I told him to bite me. He took this as an invitation to wedge the bathroom door shut for nearly two hours, despite all my pleas and apologies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 629

You deserved it 41 561

By smf_ds - 31/07/2015 20:48 - Portugal - Rebordosa

Today, I witnessed my dad spreading his ass cheeks to show my mom the rashes his hemorrhoids are giving him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 060

You deserved it 2 216

DocBastard 38

Friday 31 December 2010 1:10

I hear the pain of passing a kidney stone is equivalent to the pain of childbirth. Apparently the sensation of losing you is as satisfying as that of taking a really good dump.

DocBastard 38

Friday 31 December 2010 4:56

Please allow me to quote from muffpuncher's profile: "I love to piss people off it brings joy to my existence." If you so enjoy insulting 4 year old girls, I'm sure there's a playground or primary school near your home. But I'm sure you'll have a good cry knowing that you didn't piss me off. Begone.