Today, my elderly neighbor had asked me to take her to her early morning doctor's appointment. I arrived at her house at 7:30 as agreed, and she appeared to have forgotten who I was. She started lobbing eggs out of her window at me, telling me she wasn't interested in what I was selling. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was woken up by my elderly neighbor banging on my door at 2am. She needed "urgent" assistance as she had forgotten how to turn her TV off. I'd just fallen asleep. FML
Today, I saw an elderly woman struggling to reach the top shelf in my local grocery store, so I went over and asked if she needed help. She then accused me of flirting with her and had me escorted from the property. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my senile grandma, when I told her I had to go because I had an appointment at the clinic. For some reason, she assumed I was talking about an abortion clinic, and started raging at me and calling me a murderer. FML
Today, the elderly lady I work for got mad at me, all because I wouldn't feed her imaginary friend. FML
Today, an old lady asked me the way to the shopping mall. The shopping mall was not too far away, but I could see that the lady could barely walk so I offered to drive her there. She smacked my car's door into a pole while getting in my car. She didn't even notice that she'd done something wrong. FML
Today, I asked an elderly customer at my work if she needed help with her groceries. She responded, "I normally would, but I'm afraid you'll eat all the groceries." FML
Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML
Today, I was at work as a cashier. An old lady unbagged everything I had, and angrily "taught" me how to bag. She put potatoes on her eggs and broke them. She then screamed that I was useless and retarded in front of all my other customers and manager. FML
Today, I was at the mall, when I saw an elderly lady drop her groceries, so I rushed over to help her pick them up. She took one look at me, called me a "Liberal bastard," and shouted for me to get away from her before she called the cops. FML
Today, I helped my neighbor carry her groceries upstairs. One egg carton slipped from my hand and exploded in the sink. She stared at the mess, then at me, and said, “That's my omelet down the drain.” FML
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Top comments
HowieDoIt 21
This is eggxactly why I can't wait to be old, and get away with trolling the young.
mackdeezy 22
Now you see why she needed that appointment.
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Comments (90)
buckdharma 38
Make a break, fast.
ajh1800 25
Or take out the comma and space, add a frying pan and make breakfast!
HowieDoIt 21
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. When old ladies give you eggs, pay it forward and find a new target.
countryrose92 23
I had so much faith in you in that other threa of comments... Now I am just disappointed. :(
picante72 24
You should have said Girl Scout cookies, specifically Samoas. She would have implored you to come hither at once.
daniel_dd31 13
Don't be mad at the lady, be mad at those people that always come to our doors trying to sell stuff!! annoying bastards.
Bliss391 7
Kids throw eggs at houses, and old people throw eggs out of houses! It's all part of the circle of life!
billyz77 24
Guess I'd better get to chuckin' if I want to stay part of The Circle. Now, where's that paperboy? I owe that little bastard.
eaglerob 20
No YDI yet, it's a miracle!
HowieDoIt 21
Look what ya did, ya jerk.
buckdharma 38
I would tell her, omelet this go, this time.
ViviMage 40
You realize she will call you later angry you didn't take her and she has a no show/late fee with that doctor.
firechicky 12
you might have wanted to call an ambulance. a sudden change in mental status like that can be indicative of a serious medical problem.
Knightengale 4
when life gives you eggs....
HaneenDixon 16
You start throwing it at a person who's trying to help you? (Ó.ò)
ironichalibut 24
You make egg-o-nade, a nutritious drink that's great for losing fat and gaining muscle, although hard to drink sometimes? I mean, just think, that is a chicken fetus you're eating all blended up. A little like fried afterbirth if you look at it in such a light, a delicacy in some countries, but I wouldn't imbibe personally.
HaneenDixon 16
63- Nope, I wouldn't want to picture it but the visual image you've described is so vivid that I can't unsee it in my mind now! Thanks. (¬_¬)