Today, my elderly neighbor had asked me to take her to her early morning doctor's appointment. I arrived at her house at 7:30 as agreed, and she appeared to have forgotten who I was. She started lobbing eggs out of her window at me, telling me she wasn't interested in what I was selling. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was woken up by my elderly neighbor banging on my door at 2am. She needed "urgent" assistance as she had forgotten how to turn her TV off. I'd just fallen asleep. FML
Today, I saw an elderly woman struggling to reach the top shelf in my local grocery store, so I went over and asked if she needed help. She then accused me of flirting with her and had me escorted from the property. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my senile grandma, when I told her I had to go because I had an appointment at the clinic. For some reason, she assumed I was talking about an abortion clinic, and started raging at me and calling me a murderer. FML
Today, the elderly lady I work for got mad at me, all because I wouldn't feed her imaginary friend. FML
Today, an old lady asked me the way to the shopping mall. The shopping mall was not too far away, but I could see that the lady could barely walk so I offered to drive her there. She smacked my car's door into a pole while getting in my car. She didn't even notice that she'd done something wrong. FML
Today, I asked an elderly customer at my work if she needed help with her groceries. She responded, "I normally would, but I'm afraid you'll eat all the groceries." FML
Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML
Today, I was at work as a cashier. An old lady unbagged everything I had, and angrily "taught" me how to bag. She put potatoes on her eggs and broke them. She then screamed that I was useless and retarded in front of all my other customers and manager. FML
Today, I was at the mall, when I saw an elderly lady drop her groceries, so I rushed over to help her pick them up. She took one look at me, called me a "Liberal bastard," and shouted for me to get away from her before she called the cops. FML
Today, I helped my neighbor carry her groceries upstairs. One egg carton slipped from my hand and exploded in the sink. She stared at the mess, then at me, and said, “That's my omelet down the drain.” FML
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Top comments
HowieDoIt 21
This is eggxactly why I can't wait to be old, and get away with trolling the young.
mackdeezy 22
Now you see why she needed that appointment.
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Comments (90)
perdix 31
Did you withstand the attack and get the old bat to her doctor, or did you... *lowers sunglasses* chicken out?
ironichalibut 24
YEAHHHHHGGHHHH!!!!
buckdharma 38
Ask her if she'd be interested in buying some eggs.
yesyesnonono 10
You should euthanize her
Morqan_Freeman 14
ghy
chanellgymnast 17
That's scrambled eggs for ya.
PunkySpunky78 15
Maybe she had a twin Old people have twins too
outoftown 27
That's no yoking matter. And I thought the old lady who just asked me how to use the dryer she's used for 10+ years was losing it!
hisoky 2
pls go
thats_my_job 11
This is your brain. This is your brain at 70. (sound of fried eggs on a frying pan). Any questions?
ReepingHavoc 13
that appointment probably had something to do with it. haha XD
TheyCallMeDamien 18
Call a relative of the elderly person if possible because it sounds like she's slipping.