Today, my dog, who has been specially trained to go for help when I'm having a seizure, went to alert my parents downstairs that I was having an emergency. The "emergency" was me masturbating. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I had to call 911 and explain to the operator that my girlfriend orgasmed so hard that she had a seizure and passed out. FML
Today, my dog peed on my bed because my parents were presumably having sex and I was too scared to go downstairs and take her out because of it. FML
Today, my mother called me at work, freaking out about my dog, so I panicked. What was wrong? He had a hard-on and she'd never seen that happen before. FML
Today, my dad had a seizure just after taking his anti-seizure medicine and having been seizure-free for two and a half months. Did I mention I was pooping while my poor dad was having this? I ran out with my pants around my ankles, due to my stepmom flipping out, screaming at me to find the phone (which she found). FML
Today, my parents hosted a party at our house. After seeing one of the extremely beautiful guests, I went to masturbate in my room. When I was about to finish, my bedroom door opened suddenly. It was my mom showing around 10 party guests that our dog can open doors. FML
Today, and for the past week, my dog has started barking at my door when I start masturbating. I think my mom is starting to suspect. FML
Today, I was masturbating in my room when my dog started to bark obnoxiously. He does this all the time so I ignored it and kept going. This went on for about a half hour. When I went downstairs, I found an open door and an empty TV stand. FML
Today, my dog was watching me and started to have a hard-on, for half an hour. FML
Today, I found out the "sex noises" I heard from next door last night, which I'd angrily yelled at my neighbor for, were actually from him having an uncontrollable seizure. FML
Today, I had a seizure for the first time in months. My fiancé went over to my job to let them know I wouldn't be going in. My boss bitched both of us because I didn't call myself. Sure, I'll get right on that when I'm conscious. FML
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Top comments
COOL__Coal 12
I think you may be doing it wrong.
loserboii 11
So your seizures & masturbations look the relatively similiar I assume¿
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Comments (146)
WhatTheDuess 1
Wait why the f*** are you masterbating with your dog
sin_cupcakes 0
That's what I'm saying! Yuck!
bryan788 29
That shit is funny, next time lock or close the door or wait until people are sleeping
wikedjest 0
Hahahaha that's funny
taurusxdee 10
Aww it's not his fault=[
Here4theshow 17
That most of been some fancy way of masturbating if the dog thought you were having a seizure!
jlperry31 10
Probably senses ur heart beat
TheHigherCloud 8
Pretty ******* sad... But LOLOL. What was your excuse for that one?
sin_cupcakes 0
Yuck! Why are u Masterbating in front of you dog?!
ChuckMcNugget 1
I dont always ways save FMLs but when i do its probably cause u ****** up badly or was hillarious
noisebox 1
I guess he hates it when you jerk off then pet him later...with the same hand...