Animals: Today, my daughter was playing outside. I was watching her from...

By gbabyy - 22/11/2009 03:25 - United States

Today, my daughter was playing outside. I was watching her from the window, and I saw her pick up a dead bird. I ran outside to grab her. As I picked her up and started scolding her, she tried to scratch my face. In the attempt, her hand went straight into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 760

You deserved it 6 907

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Same thing different taste

By Oily - 16/12/2011 09:08 - New Zealand

Today, my 7-year-old daughter came up to me in a noisy mall and said "boo-boo" pointing to her hand. Not paying enough attention, I kissed her hand to make her feel better. She grimaced and said "No dad, bird poo." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 231

You deserved it 14 456

By jazz - 22/01/2010 08:11 - France

Today, I was holding hands with my daughter and she wanted to skip. When I went to skip I accidentally kneed her in the face. Everyone saw her holding her busted lip and pointing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 311

You deserved it 5 765

Apex predator

By Ihatestraycats - 22/07/2023 12:00

Today, after we finished making my 6 year-old daughter a net to catch an injured baby bird, when she went out to catch it she witnessed a stray cat catch and eat it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 671

You deserved it 164

By Username - 06/11/2010 05:18 - France

Today, I was playing with my four month old daughter, flying her in the air like an airplane. I open my mouth saying 'Weeee', and she vomited on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 657

You deserved it 15 742

Sorry sweetie

By ddhaley1 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Edmond

Today, instead of kissing my child's boo-boo on her finger to make it feel better, I accidentally headbutted her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 815

You deserved it 3 335

Hair-raising

By what the fuck????? - 17/02/2022 16:01 - United States - Denver

Today, while at a restaurant, I watched in horror as my daughter picked a hair out of her food and continued eating it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 693

You deserved it 272

By KnuckleSandwich - 20/07/2009 19:10 - United States

Today, I received a medical bill because my daughter thought it would be hilarious to try and fit her fist in her mouth. She succeeded in getting it in, but not in getting it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 678

You deserved it 3 756

5-star meal

By storyofmylife - 15/03/2009 02:27 - United States

Today, while I was babysitting, the toddler was feeding me banana slices from her tray while I was cutting up clay for her to mold. It was all fine until she shoved something hard and crunchy into my mouth. I immediately spat it out into my hand. It was a dead cricket she found on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 661

You deserved it 10 790

By AnHoneyMouse - 12/05/2017 02:00

Today, while I was cooking, my dogs were messing around behind me. I suddenly felt a painful bite on my ass cheek and instinctively kicked back. I then realized it was my 3-year-old daughter, who was laying on the floor crying with a nose bleed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 136

You deserved it 1 421

By Anonymous - 27/06/2014 20:22 - Spain - Valencia

Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 310

You deserved it 9 393

Quietcannon 0

Sunday 22 November 2009 9:27

She tried to scratch your face? How is she that bad with her behavior already?! She needs to be spanked.

Mudley 0

Sunday 22 November 2009 15:29

When you say "daughter," you mean "cat" right? That would make a lot more sense, in multiple places.

Comments

null_fml 11

Sunday 22 November 2009 10:28

Remember our family motto: "Not in the face".

sabrinaacrow 26

Monday 13 May 2013 23:02

That sounds like an innuendo

benshady 0

Sunday 22 November 2009 11:25

haha that sucks just brush your teeth and use a lot of mouthwash and you'll be fine

badbunny 0

Sunday 22 November 2009 11:43

YDI for having children.

frankgrimes 4

Sunday 22 November 2009 13:12

ummmm Mother hood? "bing" thats what its all about.

blastvortex 3

Sunday 22 November 2009 13:40

Ah, kids... gotta love 'em. These kinds of things are to be expected. No one (intelligent) ever said parenting was easy.

adventurepaws 0

Sunday 22 November 2009 14:32

Sorry to say, but you deserved it for allowing her to try to scratch you.

PhillyFox 0

Sunday 22 November 2009 14:45

Your child started to scratch your face? I sure hope you gave her a spanking for that one.

lmaoatyourlife 0

Sunday 22 November 2009 14:50

Why would you 'scould' a child for exploring and being curious? Obviously you have to tell her not to pick dead animals and such up but you should just be calm when explaining. The little girl didn't actually do ANYTHING wrong, so YDI.

ohnomama 0

Monday 23 November 2009 8:45

Yah no shit. If the kid is young enough to not have a reaction of OH EW DEAD ANIMAL she probably had no idea what she was doing was wrong. How old is the kid in question? She sounds pretty young. So you were letting her play outside alone (watching from a window don't cut it with young kids..obviously she had time to get to a dead bird) Then you scolded her for picking up something interesting.