Intimacy: Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't...

By more than I wanted to know - 13/05/2013 19:10 - Italy - San Giustino

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 176

You deserved it 5 863

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Same thing different taste

Don't wanna know

By Anonymous - 16/02/2011 05:50

Today, my dad gave me the dreaded sex talk, but he got sidetracked and started talking about how good my mum was in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 187

You deserved it 4 177

By ReallyMom - 09/01/2014 21:48 - United States - Shawano

Today, my mom tried giving me the sex talk. Her version of "the talk" consisted of making me watch videos of guys jacking off and reassuring me that "it's natural." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 675

You deserved it 5 202

Thanks dad

By Anonymous - 24/01/2015 01:02 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my dad uploaded his porn collection onto our family server. My mom was convinced I did it and sat me down for a long talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 051

You deserved it 2 435

Scarred for life

By Aly - 09/12/2011 15:40 - United States

Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 163

You deserved it 5 833

By CallaC - 15/03/2012 02:01 - Canada

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk. Almost before he could open his mouth, my mother popped her head into the room and said, "Be realistic, Dan. Who would want to sleep with that?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 488

You deserved it 2 883

By Anonymous - 23/02/2012 20:25 - United States

Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 811

You deserved it 37 514

By tobuscus9412 - 22/03/2015 01:04 - Australia - Woronora

Today, my father decided it would be a good idea to give me the sex talk, at Target, at the top of his lungs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 139

You deserved it 3 336

By PizzaNIF - 13/07/2016 17:58 - United States - Henderson

Today, I was woken up by the sound of my dad blasting porn on his computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 823

You deserved it 1 330

By porn daddy - 21/06/2017 00:00

Today, my drunk dad went off on a tangent about his porn watching habits to the whole family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 069

You deserved it 443

The birds and the bees

By Anonymous - 23/08/2023 09:00 - United Kingdom - Nottingham

Today, I caught my young son watching porn so, not wanting to give him a warped view of sex and love, I was giving him the proper sex talk when my religious mother walked in, realised what we were talking about, and started screaming about sin and hell and diseases, and he ran off crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 641

You deserved it 98

Han1156 23

Monday 13 May 2013 23:32

Father and son bonding.

iiTzNeeNerz 26

Monday 13 May 2013 23:41

This is his idea of sex education?! Teens already have unrealistic expectations of what sex should be like as it is and he puts on a porno to teach you the fundamentals of a sexual relationship! Then proceed to get an erection! Wow. What did he do next? Point to it and say "this is how you know you're ready for penetration, son" Your dad needs a slap. On the face. With a shovel. -___-

Comments

OnyxChronic 9

Tuesday 14 May 2013 4:38

Call the police on that pervert!

MDNative 6

Tuesday 14 May 2013 4:40

what type of ****** up bonding..........

lentinese 4

Tuesday 14 May 2013 4:43

lol

depocadoll 15

Tuesday 14 May 2013 5:06

That is completely disgusting! Why would he think that would be okay? If your mother is in the picture I hope she ripped him a new one. If not, I'm so sorry this is your adult "role model". **** is NOT to be watched with your kids!

emmyrr 3

Tuesday 14 May 2013 5:40

Lol wtf HAHAHAHA

alluringtatas 7

Tuesday 14 May 2013 6:56

Yeah child services should probably be called. 1.)If you're under 18 it's illegal to watch pornography, so him showing it to you is sexual abuse (IF you're under 18) 2.)It is never ok to watch **** with your children, I don't care if your kid is 45. That's sick. What the actual heck??

annoyedchild 17

Tuesday 14 May 2013 6:58

that is ****** up many different levels

kglo 7

Tuesday 14 May 2013 7:05

OMG why didn't you just leave?

jramirez16 9

Tuesday 14 May 2013 7:40

Seriously! That could ruin someone's sexual experiences!! You could never "unsee" your dads boner if you ever have!! Gross!!

Fmlreadermostly 20

Tuesday 14 May 2013 7:46

That was how my mom "educated" me (yes I'm a girl) and my sister. Yeah the nuts are not all there. As soon as you can, get out of there. I hope he doesn't try and French you like my mom did to me. Ugh!