Today, my dad looked me dead in the eyes and told me that if I wanted to join the Lingerie Football League, I would have his approval. His drunken friends nodded in agreement. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML
Today, my dad told me he liked men. While he was making a drunken speech. At my wedding. FML
Today, I went to a function with my dad for a football team. Handing my dad the camera, I finally worked up the courage to ask for a photo with my favourite player. The guy was looking at my boobs in all three photo attempts. FML
Today, I was pouring my heart out to my dad about how I'm such a loser and how I have no friends. He listened sympathetically, until his phone buzzed with a text message. He said, "Balls, the guys from work wanna get shitfaced!" and took a rain check on me. FML
Today, I talked to my dad about joining the military. He got up, laughed, and said, "As if the army would accept a pussy like you." FML
Today, I decided to dress up a little to go out to the bar. I put on a nice shirt, some leggings, and heels. When I walked out the door, my dad said that I looked like a whore. When I got to my boyfriend's house I told him what my dad had said and he replied, "I'd have to agree with him." FML
Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML
Today, I told my dad I was going to the gym. He stood up and clapped. FML
Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML
Today, my dad walked in to the arena where I was watching a hockey game with my boyfriend and his friends. My dad was wearing a crazy grey mohawk wig/hat. Meanwhile, my boyfriend just finished telling me how embarassing it would be to be that guy's kid. FML
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Top comments
Fx13mz 7
So go ahead and do it already. He said it's okay.
allinicolesmh 0
*Dad watching lfl* "That's my girl, I raised her good!"
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Comments (147)
strawberrydreams 18
Lol, Dads say the darnest things!
kei1108 13
EWW... Lingerie football is dumb and creepy... Especially when it's coming from your dad!!! Gross!!!!!
bizarre_ftw 22
Kinda the point of the FML......
mrahhhhh 21
GET THE HELL AWAY FROM HIM!
iparker97 0
If you do plz crush Rob Ford's niece
mdizzl 6
umm, I'd be a little concerned if I were you...
patacus 14
Just your average Virginia family
Honeydip804 21
No its not!
fuckmylife2323 0
I'd leave te house for awhile thats ******* scary
vampirekisses91 0
I don't see how this is a FML I mean, they obviously think your pretty. Take it as a compliment!
thepaisan532 3
Leave the bastards house.
Sketchisan 27
That's just plain creepy. I would definitely invest in a lock for my bedroom door on Dad's drunk days.