Work: Today, I accidentally posted an extensive, negative review of... - FML

By AshWil - United States - Washington

Today, I accidentally posted an extensive, negative review of the gynecologist I visited earlier this week. I messed up and posted it from my work's customer service email, so now it looks like the large, well-known company I work for had a poor gynecological experience. FML

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BO Central

There's no helping some people

Whoop-di-scoop-di-poop

By Khagen - 27/1/2021 05:01

Supportive

Today, after two rounds of antibiotics, I got a yeast infection. My husband started calling me "Yeasty." FML

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By ks.swan13

Today, I got a call about my dog who went missing a week ago. The guy who called said "We have your dog, but you aren't getting her back." Then he hung up. FML

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By Anonymous - 19/6/2020 17:00

Last dates

Today, a guy I've been dating for a year asked me to meet him for dinner and a couple of drinks. After dinner, he confessed that he's been seeing another woman and has decided he wants to seek a relationship with her. He then told me how sex with me is great, but he didn't want me to continue being "the other woman." FML

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By gag reflex - Australia - Burwood

Today, while I was at the dentist, I couldn't stop gagging when he tried to put a tab in my mouth to get an x-ray. As I left, I overheard him saying, "I feel sorry for her boyfriend." FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I discovered that I sometimes talk in my sleep. After spending an amazing, perfectly romantic night with my boyfriend, I woke up to him telling me to leave. I have no idea what I could have said. He still won't talk to me. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, I walked in on my husband drinking the breast milk I had bottled for our child. His defense was that it's easy to confuse the container for the normal milk with the one for the breast milk. Can someone please explain to me how a person can confuse a milk carton with a baby bottle? FML

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By Noname - United States

Today, I finally got the courage to tell my best friend that I've had a crush on him since our junior year. Since I couldn't see him I shot him a text. His response: "Yeah I know. I've tried kind of ignoring it." FML

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By bleach bleach bleach - United States - Las Vegas

Today, it's been a little over a month since my dad started taking yoga lessons. We always joked around behind his back that he was just doing it so he could get flexible enough to suck himself off. Well, that joke was confirmed as reality when I walked in on him trying just that. FML

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By Anonymous - 7/2/2021 11:01 - Canada - Mirabel

Fuck this pandemic

Today, working from home and to escape my own toddler, I moved my work area into the bedroom. Perfect timing for the neighbor's toddler to scream at the top of his lungs. All day long, underneath my bedroom. I just wanted some peace and quiet to work. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, it's the 3 month anniversary marking the day two friends and I shaved our heads as a show of solidarity for a friend starting chemo. Her prognosis is good and her hair only thinned slightly. We, on the other hand, look like a motley crew of lesbian biker chicks. FML

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By Anonymous - France

Today, my boss said to me: 'You know, our competitors are also hiring!' FML

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By shoopbadeewoop

Today, it was snowing. After answering a call, I put my phone into my jacket pocket, and hurried across the road. I quickly realised my phone hadn't slipped into my pocket after all, and I turned around in time to see a snowplow go by. I couldn't find my phone in the snowdrifts. FML

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By Doomy - United States

Today, I was going to the bathroom. As I was about to wipe, I noticed that the toilet paper had butterflies printed on it. Never before had I felt bad for wiping my ass. FML

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By yawho - Japan

Today, a customer that I've been waiting on for years came into the restaurant after a long absence. I said to him, "Hey man, it looks like you lost a lot of weight! How'd you do it?" He replied, "I got cancer." FML

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By fucking hell my eyes burn - Germany

Today, I woke up and stumbled over to my window to soak up some morning sunshine. The sunshine was lovely; the sight of my elderly neighbour doing some kind of nude yoga in his backyard certainly was not. FML

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By Username - United States

Today, I got to listen to my younger brother have sex with a girl while I sat in my room playing World of Warcraft on a Friday night. FML

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By seanzynotfonzyehhhhh - United States

Today, my boss told me to find the bad smell coming from the apartment we were working on. I found the bath tub about 4 inches high full of piss and spent the next hour bailing it out into a bucket because the drain wasn't connected yet. I have pee stain in all the wrong places. FML

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By fish killer - Canada

Today, I bought a fish. I put the tank on top of the fridge so my cat wouldn't get at it. I'd forgotten to buy some things for its tank, so I quickly ran out to get them. When I got home, I saw the tank destroyed on the floor, and my cat devouring my fish. I had the fish for less than an hour. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Thomasville

That's not a child, that's a bio-hazard!

Today, I took a shower while my two-year-old slept. In the 30 minutes it took me to shower, get dressed, and go back to his room, he had woken up, taken his pants and diaper off, and smears crap all over himself and his bed. FML

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By hopeless romantic - United States - Dayton

Today, I realized my dog looks at me with way more love in his eyes than my own boyfriend does. FML

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By elo - France

Today, I woke up beside a disgusting guy I didn't know. He told me he was the best friend of the handsome guy I was hitting on yesterday evening. I can't remember at which point I got mislead into bringing the wrong one home. FML

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By edhalen - United States

Today, I pulled over to help a girl with her car. I thought my limited mechanic skills would help look like a hero. She only needed her coolant cap unscrewed. With top down, shirt off, I was confident as I got out of my car. 10 minutes later I left because I couldn't unscrew the f***ing thing. FML

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By Robert

Today, a judge ruled against me. I filed for divorce because my wife got pregnant even though I had a vasectomy. Apparently, not informing your spouse of a vasectomy is worse than cheating in the eyes of the court. FML

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By pikachu_43 - United States - San Francisco

Today, because I thought I was about to have an asthma attack, I had a panic attack. Then, the panic attack caused me to have a real asthma attack. FML

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By t

Today, I got a really bad cramp while I was swimming in my neighborhood pool. I started to go under until the lifeguard jumped in and saved me. I guess it would have been great, if I wasn't a fellow lifeguard. FML

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By MoneyMike - United States

Today, I fell asleep in the car on a 10+ hour trip with my family as soon as we got on the highway. When I woke up an hour later, I realized I'd had a wet dream. I had to sit next to my grandma with semen all over my thighs and boxers for the rest of the trip. FML

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By norelaxtime - 20/4/2021 08:00 - United States - Lexington

Go to a doctor

Today, I spent all day on the toilet trying to pee and when I did, very little would come out. I would stand up, sit on the couch then go back to the toilet. I have been going to the bathroom around 30 times, including last night trying to fall asleep. Worst day. FML

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By Anthony - France

Today, on a train, a little boy and girl come up to me and ask how babies are made. Already pretty uncomfortable with their question, their mother suddenly appears and says, "Go on, tell them!" FML

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By Jobless

Today I was fired from my job. They fired me because they couldn't work around my college schedule. The only reason they hired me was because they were looking for college students and without a job I can't go back to school. FML

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By Anonymous

Complicated relationship

Today my girlfriend of three years broke up with me. Why? She wasn’t sure about the relationship anymore. She seemed pretty sure though, seeing she was on Tinder less than 2 hours after, thanks to the 3 different friends that all called me about it. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Wapakoneta

Today, my surgeon was giving me the lowdown of what was going to happen on the operating table. I was anxious enough without him saying stuff like "cut you open", "quite a bit of blood" and "it's all quite risky." That's all I remember before fainting. My wife won't stop mocking me for it. FML

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By Jyocka - Canada

Today, on a first date, I finished eating my sushi, feeling proud to have managed chopsticks so elegantly and then rubbed my eye, oblivious to the fact I had just touched some wasabi. What followed was a classy exhibition on how to jump around screeching in pain. FML

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By Sam - Netherlands - Groningen

Today, my colleagues were excitedly talking about going for drinks after work. I heard one of them ask, Is Sam coming?' and shortly after leave without me. I'm Sam. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Alexa, play "Gigantic" by Pixies

Today, my brother was officially diagnosed with gigantism. According to the specialist doctor, he'll probably be 8 feet tall, if not taller. Hearing this, my brother looked at me and said, "Remember when you used to pick on me for being smaller than you? Karma's a bitch, ain't it?" I’m so screwed. FML

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By FranchezDeVista - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was talking to my mom about my issues with my girlfriend. While she was sympathizing, she slowly picked up my wallet, took $100 and left. FML

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By PollingLow - United States - Decatur

Today, I ran for editor-in-chief of a magazine. I spent hours working on my speech, and offered a bunch of new ideas to increase readership. My opponent just said that she, "loved the organization". I lost by a 4-1 margin. My opponent later announced her plans for next year. They were all of my ideas. FML

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By Heyme - France

Today, I was working and eating. I was so tired that I crunched my pen and crushed my chocolate-filled pastry on my exercise book. FML

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By Andrea Trevor

Still counts!

Today, I finally did the splits for the first time in my life! Unfortunately, it happened when I stepped in wet dog poop on my kitchen floor. One foot slipped forward in it, and I fell right on top of it. FML

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By lonelygirl - United States

Today, my boyfriend took me on a romantic weekend away at a hotel. What is he doing now? On his computer looking up stuff on Craigslist while I am watching t.v. alone. FML

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By lexiiiiiiweee - United States

Today, I went bowling with my friends. As I was about to take my turn, my friend came up behind me and yelled in my ear, "Don't mess up!" Startled, I dropped the ball on my foot. FML

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Top comments

By KeannaLove | 32

#6333123 - Saturday 27 June 2015 0:14

Never EVER post stuff like from your work computer. You never know when it will link to you work email.

By Yazoo77 | 16

#6333111 - Saturday 27 June 2015 0:12

No doctor can solve your new problem.

COMMENTS

By Micah_Nobot | 10

#6333108 - Saturday 27 June 2015 0:11

Hope you boss doesn't find out

By Yazoo77 | 16

#6333111 - Saturday 27 June 2015 0:12

No doctor can solve your new problem.

Reply

logicnazi | 18

#6333199 - Saturday 27 June 2015 2:49

I'm curious what the problem was that merited the visit and the review. Looks like OP already responded on another comment, but hopefully we get more details as well.
When she wrote extensive, I imagined her including the reason for the check up as well.

Reply

wchil | 14

#6333469 - Saturday 27 June 2015 12:34

I don't think that really matters 24

By CrossEyedSniper1 | 18

#6333115 - Saturday 27 June 2015 0:13

Yikes, sorry to hear that. good luck fixing that, FYL.

By KeannaLove | 32

#6333123 - Saturday 27 June 2015 0:14

Never EVER post stuff like from your work computer. You never know when it will link to you work email.

Reply

mds9986 | 24

#6333153 - Saturday 27 June 2015 0:57

Wouldn't you have to create an account with the email (and then even verify the address by clicking a verification link sent to the email)? I feel like OP had too many chances to go back on this for me not to click YDI.

Reply

Mauskau | 35

#6333185 - Saturday 27 June 2015 2:06

I'd be more worried about someone looking back at my usage and noticing I'm reviewing a gynecologist.

Reply

Champignon_fml | 19

#6333812 - Saturday 27 June 2015 20:12

Not to mention that most big companies have an IT department, and that everyone in the IT department is able to see exactly what you're doing on your computer.

By theoldman | 22

#6333127 - Saturday 27 June 2015 0:15

The big company was having their time of the month.

Reply

Pat5519 | 14

#6333154 - Saturday 27 June 2015 1:00

Enough with the vagina jokes, period.

Reply

buckstop1 | 37

#6333222 - Saturday 27 June 2015 3:44

I was going to make an anal joke, butt fuck it.

That's literally what you both sound like.

Reply

FMLusername969 | 21

#6333290 - Saturday 27 June 2015 6:12

#27. Now THAT was FUNNY! ?

Reply

praesidiem | 16

#6333330 - Saturday 27 June 2015 8:29

#27, how do you know how they sound, if they've only typed something?

By Cads1 | 24

#6333130 - Saturday 27 June 2015 0:17

#5. Possibly some sand in there too.

Reply

LunaRebirth | 7

#6333200 - Saturday 27 June 2015 2:51

and a reply button, too

Reply

praesidiem | 16

#6333871 - Saturday 27 June 2015 21:38

I'm glad there isn't a reply button in most vagina's. "I haven't cum yet" *no reply button, can't reply*

By varunet2004 | 11

#6333134 - Saturday 27 June 2015 0:18

You can claim that a testicle test drive was organized by your company which ended up being a poor experience... All the best for any further confrontation

By Steve97 | 32

#6333139 - Saturday 27 June 2015 0:23

I bet the gynecologist is going to regret giving you poor service now though :p

By mustangbravo | 27

#6333143 - Saturday 27 June 2015 0:36

Let's hope your company has a sense of humor.

By Teyros | 24

#6333149 - Saturday 27 June 2015 0:44

Well at least everyone at your company knows you're safe? Getting check ups and all..

Reply

FMLusername969 | 21

#6333294 - Saturday 27 June 2015 6:14

Ehhhh...don't think they care.