ohlordhelpmenow
United States
Today, my dad created a new rule: It isn't old until there's mold. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
Bondi414
This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff
United States
My house, my rules
Today, my dad made a new house rule: "If it's yellow, let it mellow; if it's brown, flush it down." My whole house now smells like piss. FML
moudly
United States
Today, my mom finally believed me when I said I smelled mold. I lifted up the couch, and it was covered in mold. So were the bottoms of all our furniture, our beds, and my grandma's vintage chair. We've been living in mold for the past 4 months. FML
andrea
Denver, United States
Moldy excuse
Today, my idiot daughter has allowed mold to grow in her shower. Her excuse? She thought it was just some “stains” that wouldn’t come out. Yeah, I don’t believe that. I think she knew it was mold and just didn’t care. FML
Sick
Today, I noticed a thick layer of mold growing inside the straw of my water bottle. I use that bottle every day. FML
Anonymous
Ebersbach, Germany
Cruel summer
Today, it’s a rather wet summer and everything in our house is prone to mould. No, I’m not exaggerating when I say “everything”: I just found mould growing on the plates in the cupboard. And, no, we did not accidentally put them away unwashed. FML
Cheese luv
Watson, Australia
Today, my father threw out my $100 wedge of blue cheese because it "smelled funny". FML
TheMysteriousTsundere
Today, my dad threw out all my food because a fly landed on a loaf of bread still in its package. He claims the bread and everything else that touched it is "contaminated". That was all the food I had for the rest of the month. FML
VibeCheck
Hangover blues
Today, I woke up hungover and went to the kitchen for some food. I saw what I thought was a blueberry muffin. Halfway through eating it, I realized I couldn’t taste any blueberries, so I tried another one. I then remembered my dad telling me to throw out any old food we had. It was mould. FML
Anonymous
United States
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Today, I noticed mold on my toothbrush. I have no idea how long it's been like that. I told my husband about it via text, and all he could say was, "Welp... ew." We've had a mold problem for years and I'm constantly sick. I also mentioned this and he sent me a shrugging emoji. FML
uncleaning
United States
Today, after I cleaned out the fridge of things that expired months ago, my roommate got angry and insisted upon pulling all the moldy dairy products out of the garbage and putting them back because "they weren't mine and I shouldn't throw out other people's food." FML
Top comments
perdix 31
Is he talking about food or women?
123josie123 11
The new version of 5second rule??
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Comments (127)
diron314 1
Sheesh
ChaosAngel17 14
At least you're going to get aged cheese.
bizarre_ftw 22
Tsk tsk, he throws it away just cuz there's mold on it? He should take a leaf out of Rockefeller's handbook. Ah well, I guess that's why you're on FML and he was richer than all the world's tycoons three times over! enjoy your moldy bread :)
vintagemeow 6
As long as it doesn't grow legs and flee from you- you'll be fine!
kreepers 6
Splatter powder on food you refuse to consume! It'll cheat him into throwing it away, at the very least.
funnynesh 10
Colour him green while he is asleep. Tell him the next morning he looks old. When he hesitates,say "go look in the mirror! you've got mould dad! You must be old!"
pagiebear 0
Yuck!
ronski 41
A "best before" date is only an advisory & can be used after that date, whilst a "use by" date is not safe after that date
vindicated21 12
Our rule is "When in doubt, throw it out!" Try running that by your dad.
Yourheadache 19
Thats a good one, I'm going to use it.
KelBelAndNats 7
I don't see how this could end badly! If you ignore the impending food poisoning, that is...