Today, my dad asked me for a word that rhymed with vagina. He was filling out an anniversary card for my mom. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend asked me what he should get his mother for her birthday. FML
Today, my dad asked me to unpack the groceries he'd brought home. When he saw me come across a bottle of lube, then he told me how my mom had hit menopause and, as a result, her vaginal dryness made sex harder for the two of them. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner so she could meet my parents. Over the dinner, she asked my dad what's he's been up to since he retired. He replied, "Recreational gynecology, my dear" and gave her a weird wink. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over to celebrate our anniversary. He had a card written in crayon with my name spelled wrong, and a basket I had seen his mother throw in the trash filled with flower petals ripped from my mom's garden. Our anniversary was 3 days ago. FML
Today, my father got married. He left me a voicemail to tell me all about it. FML
Today, I called my dad asking him to wish me a happy birthday. Yay. FML
Today, my dad got me one of those word locks for my gym locker, for which the password had to be a four-letter word instead of numbers. My dad chose the combo for me. It was "diet". FML
Today, my parents had a long discussion on whether a cut on my arm looked like a vagina. FML
Today, my dad thought it appropriate to ask if my boyfriend, who was in the other room, was circumcised. FML
Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my vagina. He replied, "What's that?" FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
A woman from North Carolina Strung catgut across her ****** With proper-sized cocks Her **** would play Bach's Toccata and Fugue in D Mina There are a few rhymes for you.
seymourlilly17 0
is her name Regina...
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Comments (148)
yummycupcakegirl 0
Your mom's very lucky.....
1kings67 0
north Carolina, Calvin Klein kind of-bloodhound gang
torirules 0
china
guillaume193 0
dear wife, I miss your ******, oh how I wish I could just be inside-ya.. ... right now ;)
skyeyez9 25
Angina.
buggybeauty 0
quite possibly the best FML ever!
SaRah_In_LoVe 0
wow, awkward. But tell him to think of another word for ****** that would be easier to rhyme.
sucks4u918 4
Haha
HomeAl0ne 20
Nothing could be finer than to cum in your ****** in the moooorrrning.
luckymagruder 4
Sounds like a job for the Bloodhound Gang. Hooray!!!