Today, my cousin started sending sarcastic love messages to me. I replied, with even cheesier lines. Then she rang me saying she was so glad I felt the same way. Turns out she wasn't being sarcastic. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I got a mass message on WhatsApp from my extended family about my cousin’s engagement. Trying to be funny, I replied, “Wow, can’t wait to see how long this one lasts.” I thought I was sending it to my brother. Only my brother. I sent it to the whole family group. Including my cousin. And her fiancé. FML
Today, I received a friend request on Facebook. I didn't know her, but she was cute, so I accepted the request. After looking at her pictures, I sent her a message saying "What's up cutie, do I know you?". She responded "Yes, I'm your cousin". FML
Today, I woke up in a good mood, and I excitedly shared with my mom that I was in a "wonderful mood." Her response was to yell at me because she’s "had it with my fucking sarcasm." She refuses to believe I wasn’t being sarcastic. Day ruined. FML
Today, I got a text from a cousin thanking me for always being nice to her. Bear in mind that this “cousin” basically bullied me as a child, all while I looked up to her. She’s gone through a very rough time recently, so I thought she'd sent me someone else’s text by mistake and I told her so. She replied, “No.” FML
Today, I sent a group text round to my friends asking if they wanted to hang out sometime. One of my friends thought this was aimed directly at her and confessed her love for me. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend what she loves the most about me. She said it's the fact that I look like her cousin. FML
Today, I sent a love letter I'd written meant for my crush to a friend so she could evaluate my prose before I actually sent it to him. For some reason, my emotions got the best of me, and I mistakenly CC'd my mom. She replied with three crying-with-laughter emojis. FML
Today, I sent a romantic, flirty text to my boyfriend. A few minutes later, I got a reply from… my mom, saying, “I don’t think this was meant for me, but thanks for making my day awkward.” FML
Today, I saw an adorable girl at the bar and I went to talk to her. I decided to use my cheesiest pick up line to make her laugh. After I said it, she knew who I was. It was my cousin I hadn't seen in 8 years. FML
Today, I told my cousin that I would gladly help him get through the loss of my aunt. That is until he started flirting with me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
saba_ajira 29
Oh damn... Time to explain some things OP
thisiswilli_fml 5
Sounds like you guys will have an awkward moment during Christmas parties this year.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (90)
buckdharma 38
Cousin- I like this guy who looks just like you, sounds just like you, and makes me feel all warm inside. Op- You should call him up and tell him. Cousin- Umm, okay! Op- *ring, *ring- Hello?
sunnyray812 42
I hope she understands when you explain to her you were joking around and can't have a romance together.
JMichael 26
Admit it OP. Neither were you.
MyNameIsNicolas 2
Incest in the morning!
Curlytwirly22 17
Ewwwwwwww I hate when that happens !!!!
xnyletak 17
....is this something that happens a lot to you?
CrazyMelvin 14
Incest is gross but hey, it's your choice.
underthesea12 24
Yea incest!
ZorroRooster 19
Oh, the royals used to do crazy shit back in the day like marry their cousins or get married eight times. If its consensual, stick with crazy royal traditions and get it on! As it seems the feelings aren't reciprocated, however, I would think an awkward conversation is going to go down sometime in the near future. Good luck with that, OP.
cathrope 10
Is your cousin hot?
imdabess 9
only if your cousins 10/10