Life imitates art

By Anonymous - 11/01/2021 20:58 - Philippines

Today, my hypochondria is getting worse. I think it's because of watching too much Grey's Anatomy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 213

You deserved it 618

Empathy lives

Sorry…

Best teeth in the game

Uninvolved

By Anonymous - 18/09/2020 05:06

Today, I woke up to the only home I've ever known in 32 years being burned to ash by a wildfire with everything we own inside, barely getting me and my dogs out alive. My boyfriend of 3 years promised me we would work through this together, no matter what it took, only to completely ghost me a few hours later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 416

You deserved it 71

By fartje - 25/01/2015 18:21 - Netherlands

Today, I had a job interview. The interviewer blatantly farted as I sat down, then she sneered, "Making yourself comfortable, I see..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 571

You deserved it 2 444

By Noname - 22/01/2009 21:31 - United States

Today, I got a mailer from Adam and Eve with a bunch of hard core porn ads inside. I have been getting these since i ordered a Pirate porn video a few months ago. I was gone for a few weeks overseas. My mother-in-law was getting the mail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 273

You deserved it 28 042

By Anonymous - 07/01/2015 17:07 - Canada - Tracadie

Today, one of my friends posted on Facebook saying if you're held up at an ATM, putting your PIN in backwards will alert the cops. I pointed out it's an urban legend, and asked how it'd work if their PIN was the same backwards. He drove over and beat the crap out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 734

You deserved it 6 018

By Anonymous - 03/05/2009 15:22 - United States

Today, it was my boyfriend's 21st birthday. Along with a pair of $80 shoes, I bought him a birthday cake, his favorite ice cream and a $15 balloon. I showed up to the party and he was very intoxicated. So intoxicated that he pops the balloon, drops the cake, and throws up all over his new shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 493

You deserved it 8 263

By SierraCheyenne - 30/04/2013 01:57 - United States - Hannibal

Today, my parents finally got married. At the after-party, my mother got drunk and informed me that even though she and my father were now married, it doesn't change the fact that I'm still a bastard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 642

You deserved it 3 669

By Noname - 10/02/2009 20:46 - United States

Today, I was on the internet with my Dad looking up information about allergies. I began to type 'allergies' into the Google Search Box and as I typed 'a', the phrase 'amazing sex positions' popped up as a search I had already looked up. My Dad asked me if any of the positions worked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 818

You deserved it 48 538

Not invited, I guess

By Marion - 14/10/2020 20:01 - United States - Portland

Today, I was talking to a coworker about gender reveal parties, and how dumb and dangerous they're becoming. A nearby coworker then burst into tears and ran out. It appears that she's having one this weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 053

You deserved it 473

By Grandmas lost it - 28/08/2013 04:48 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I turned around after loading the washing machine to discover my husband's 89-year-old grandmother dropping her pants. She looked at me and said, "I hope you don't mind but when you got to go, you got to go." She then sat down on the toilet and let out a loud, long fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 676

You deserved it 3 509

By hell no! - 25/07/2019 04:00

Today, my fiancé's ex-wife thought it was perfectly acceptable to give herself a part in our upcoming wedding. She wants to "give" him away to me, the same way a father does to a bride. Apparently, I'm being unreasonable and selfish for denying her request. My fiancé told me to at least think about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 087

You deserved it 162

Shut up and take it

By Eric - 14/03/2020 06:05

Today my college professor told me that I ask him too many questions. Apparently, my college tuition fee doesn't include learning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 547

You deserved it 215

Crazy party

By Anonymous - 08/02/2020 18:00

Today, I heard that there's a rumour going around that I was caught masturbating while crying at a party after the girl I liked got with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 478

You deserved it 294

By jenpearl - 20/06/2015 01:06 - Australia

Today, I decided to do naked yoga in my lounge room, as I always do. Later, I found a note on my front door saying "Keep doing what you're doing". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 958

You deserved it 9 158

By Anonymous - 30/03/2012 01:54 - United States - Natrona Heights

Today, I felt manly. I spent almost the entire day peeling paint, power sanding, and applying Spackle for my grandma. Strutting with masculinity, I headed for the shower, only to let out a womanly yelp at a spider hanging at eye level around a corner. Manliness gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 876

You deserved it 23 670

By accident - 14/02/2014 22:41 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my dad gave me the sex talk. After telling me all the stuff I already knew, he told me never to use Durex condoms. He said, "They break a lot. That's the only reason you're around today, really." then chuckled to himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 925

You deserved it 5 786

By Anonymous - 07/12/2012 15:30 - United States

Today, I came home to find a mouse in the garage. Frantic, I killed it. My 7-year-old son came home from soccer, and started crying because he couldn't find the class pet, Mr. Whiskers. I killed my son's class pet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 612

You deserved it 18 237

By Anonymous - 15/02/2016 17:04 - United States - Athena

Today, the car across the street has been broken into so many times that my parrot has started to mimic its car alarm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 863

You deserved it 1 716

Poor little bunny

By Anonymous - 30/06/2021 04:01

Today, after I warned my son repeatedly that if he wanted a rabbit he had to clean and feed it, I checked on it. It wasn’t just dead, it was dead and rotting in a pool of its own pee and faeces. I yelled at him, but he just shrugged and told me rabbits are boring and he forgot it was even there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 533

You deserved it 1 795

By a-scared - 06/08/2009 22:18 - United States

Today, I went to the Grand Canyon with my family. Also today, I found out that I have a crippling fear of heights. My family left me on a ledge hyperventilating and having a mental breakdown, while they hiked for another 2 hours. They won't stop telling me how pretty it was and what I missed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 525

You deserved it 8 617

Time to ditch

By Anonymous - 20/02/2021 19:58 - Czech Republic - Prostejov

Today, I'm worried senseless over my mom who's in hospital in an induced coma due to COVID-19, and my boyfriend complains that I don't want to have sex with him as often as he wants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 341

You deserved it 128

By Anonymous - 28/02/2016 09:15 - Canada - Kamloops

Today, my sister shared a post on Facebook which talked about how gays are destroying the "sanctity of marriage". I couldn't help but point out that she's been married 3 times in the last 7 years, while I've been happily married to my wife for nearly 9. She deleted my comment then blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 506

You deserved it 2 309

By Rizma - 27/11/2014 15:12 - France - Gr?ces

Today, I went off for a jog. Outside, I saw my really cute neighbour, so in an effort to appear sporty, I accelerated and kept my head up. As I got close, I smiled at him, just when a huge fly flew right up my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 924

You deserved it 4 547

Seize the means

By Anonymous - 25/11/2020 18:02 - United States - Cody

Today, I found out I'm getting a pay cut, a week after I told my boss I need a raise or second job just to afford bills. I made the company 10k last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 990

You deserved it 78

By buttsmcgee - 22/11/2016 07:05 - United States - Roseburg

Today, we finally got paperwork saying we were approved for a loan to buy a house! The only problem? It's not eligible for the county we live in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 006

You deserved it 921

Gas giant

By morgan - 09/04/2021 23:00

Today, while laying in bed, I let out a huge fart. I then heard my roommate yell from outside my room, "Did you think you were alone?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 707

You deserved it 256

By great - 28/02/2015 16:23 - United States - Porter

Today, the girl I've been seeing for just over a week casually let me know that she'll slash her wrists if I ever leave her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 005

You deserved it 3 352

By Thankshun - 04/03/2013 23:03 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me I was selfish for "choosing" to start my period on his day off from work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 334

You deserved it 6 602

By KiwiBlam - 07/02/2010 09:19 - New Zealand

Today, I was racing some mates to the beach and I decided to take a short-cut by jumping over a low wall. I didn't realise the wall was to stop people falling into the stormwater drain. Which is 3 metres deep. And has razor-sharp oysters growing at the bottom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 360

You deserved it 39 870

By Mewsmash - 01/01/2016 16:23 - United States - Dublin

Today, my father told me he hasn't brushed his teeth for 30 years: he just wipes them with paper towels. I don't know whether to be horribly disgusted, or horribly jealous that he has never gotten a cavity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 203

You deserved it 1 531

By roomingwithevil - 09/05/2012 23:26 - United States - Slinger

Today, I found out who my randomly assigned roommate was. Out of 10,000+ people, I just happen to get assigned a girl who threatened to kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 669

You deserved it 2 049

Thanks, I hate it

By Candy_Crushed - 08/09/2017 22:30 - United States - Mims

Today, after nearly three years of no contact whatsoever, I received a Facebook notification from my father. Eager to see what he said, I pulled it up only to see a game request. He had run out of lives on Candy Crush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 243

You deserved it 319

By Fmycar - 26/09/2009 05:19 - United States

Today, my football team played in a game against our rival school that was just a few blocks away. We hadn't lost the game in exactly 49 years, we were playing for the 50th year win. We lost 63-0, and got booed off the field by our own crowd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 359

You deserved it 37 997

Giggles McGee

By Shitmetalseller - 02/08/2014 22:37 - United Kingdom - Wilmslow

Today, I managed to not laugh as a potential high-profile Italian client with a heavy accent repeatedly pronounced "sheet metal" as "shit metal". Unfortunately, my boss and a senior colleague couldn't contain their own laughter. We lost that deal, and our jobs are now endangered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 687

You deserved it 5 104

By bye loser - 20/10/2014 09:28 - Canada - Abbotsford

Today, I went on a first date. Everything was going well until he asked me, "So, what's the biggest thing you've stuck up your vag?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 570

You deserved it 3 944

By m - 22/08/2012 01:59 - United States - Stamford

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up. I was pretty upset, so one of my guy friends offered to comfort me and get some ice cream. Apparently his definition of "comforting" is to feel my tits and try to get me to give him head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 845

You deserved it 5 842

By ApparentlyEmo - 18/02/2010 06:06 - United States

Today, my mom called asking for advice on how to flirt with her personal trainer. I thought she was joking and asked her what Dad would think. Turns out they're getting divorced. They decided this three weeks ago. No one told me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 811

You deserved it 2 081

By brileyyyy - 12/01/2010 03:40 - United States

Today, I was sent to the hospital for being knocked out with a potato. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 681

You deserved it 4 245

By oh - 06/12/2013 21:20 - Denmark - Viborg

Today, my grandma commented on my Facebook profile picture: "That's a great photo! It doesn't look anything like you!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 933

You deserved it 3 679

By anonymous - 29/01/2011 12:41 - Australia

Today, my mother walked in on me and my boyfriend having sex. Afterwards, she informed me I would look a lot hotter if I smiled more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 716

You deserved it 8 920

By inked - 05/02/2012 05:54 - United States

Today, I showed off my new tattoo to my friends. Too bad it says "Walk Earless" now instead of "Walk Fearless." That's right, I'm now supporting Van Gogh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 349

You deserved it 31 163

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Top comments

RichardPencil 30

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Monday 11 January 2021 15:31

You probably don't really have hypochondria. That's so meta 🤯

Yudith 20

Send a private message

Tuesday 12 January 2021 3:16

Don't worry; by season 12, you will get better because the show is 90% drama at that point.

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Send a private message

Monday 11 January 2021 15:31

You probably don't really have hypochondria. That's so meta 🤯

Yudith 20

Send a private message

Tuesday 12 January 2021 3:16

Don't worry; by season 12, you will get better because the show is 90% drama at that point.

Nearly

Today, I spent my 25th birthday crying alone in my room with my baby, because no else seemed to care it was my birthday. My partner and I had a fight the night before and we haven’t spoken or seen each other since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15

You deserved it 5

Today, I live in Turkey and the dollar has risen to 13 lira. Just turks understand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32

You deserved it 6

Spicy

Today, my wife announced she wants to incorporate a saddle into our lovemaking. This might be fine, except she wants me to wear an actual 30-pound saddle, and I have bad knees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

Today, my daughter finally learned that you can’t sleep your way to success, after she tried and failed to seduce her married boss, was sacked, and blacklisted as a potential lawsuit throughout every company specialising in her chosen career field. FML

I agree, your life sucks 503

You deserved it 147