Now that's not your bitch ._.

1- Wtf, that doesn't even make any sense.

wtf -.-

If the dog is wearing a parachute, then it could be magical. A dog gliding off a cliff slowly without a care in the world.

Until it hits the ground :(

It'd probably fart a rainbow and turn into a poptart. What a life!

That's when you say, "He was talking about you, mom."

Was she also debating how to kill your dog and make it look like a accident a few days ago?

26- they already have that in cat form. It's called Nyan.

What's up with the recent FMLs about parents trying to kill their pets/wanting them to die? There's a thing called adoption you don't have to kill the poor thing.

37 - They have it in TacoDog form.

Dog wouldn't give a shit, and 24 he has a parachute dumbass

Well OP, expect to see your dog in a pound one year from now, despite you mum saying it died...

I just tried yanking my GFs foot saying "get me a beer.". Didn't work:(

How is a dog going to know how and when to operate a parachute?

Look at you. Soaring majestically through the air, like an eagle... Piloting a blimp.

Did she

grab your mom by the leg and whisper "go do the same"

@ 74Portal reference ftw

Tug on your mothers' foot and say, "stop being a bitch" repeatedly and see how she likes it

I suggest watching your dog very carefully from now on

I'd suggest watching your mom, OP.

Or otherwise your dog will have a ruff time

@9: That was a pretty dog-gone good pun.

@9 and @22, You guys have marked new territory for awoofuly funny puns.

You might want to watch those cliffs near you for a while...

(tugs foot) "slap an bark at mommy."

I'm guessing it probably involved peanut butter.

Playing fetch with the peanut butter?

Yall know how to message on this app? I cant find out how

Ha. Let me guess, you'd like to message pretty Emmie up there?

63, how'd u know?? Lol

I think the brother meant the dogs "middle leg"

what was your brother doing to your dog when he figured this out?

wow no idea what i just typed... meant to say "slap mommy then bark at her" well i fail woo.

Third times the charm.... What? It's 2nd now?

Dogs don't have hands to slap people with.

Tug your mom's foot and say 'go jump off a cliff'.

Or tug mom's foot and say, "make me a sandwich"

#13- Although I do not take offence to those 'women belong in the kitchen' or 'Women are only good for makin' sammiches' jokes, they are getting pretty old.

Good idea!

Poop.

I have a feeling that dog will "run away while you went to school" soon.

Aww :( that's sad that your mom would do that... /:

I would have thumbed you down for being extremely uncreative but you're hot so its okay

i bet half the reason you got 9 thumbs up is just that your pretty haha

trying to hit on her while kinda dissing her? thatll work out great...maybe it WAS sad her mom did that and that's why she got thumbed up..?