Today, my brother told my 3 year-old son that cool kids call their parents by their real names. This wouldn't be half as bad if he hadn't also convinced my son that my real name was Satan. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I let my brother babysit my 6-year-old daughter. She learned 2 new words from him. One of them was "Hail" and the other one was "Satan". FML
Today, I went to pick up my little brother from his friend's house. When I got there, he ran off screaming that he didn't know me. His friend's parents believed him. FML
Today, I realized that the only boy who ever called me pretty was my 5-year-old brother. My sister then scolded him for lying. FML
Today, I found out that my 6-year-old son was named after my wife's "Favorite Uncle" because he might also be the father. FML
Today, I was watching my 3 year old brother. He asked me to get him a cookie and I said, "What's the magic word?" He looked at me angrily and said "Bitch, please." FML
Today, my four-year-old daughter called me by her mom's new boyfriend's name. Three different times. FML
Today, I found out that my parents think my boyfriend is the devil. FML
Today, my 6-year-old brother showed me the "books" he's been writing for the past week. My parents, who are first-generation immigrants, want him to take the books to school to show everyone. My only problem with this? The main character's name is "Wanker". FML
Today, during a family dinner, my 5-year-old son excitedly told everyone that I let him use my "douche" last week. My parents glared at me in anger and horror, and only after they left did I find out that his brother had told him that's what my loofah is called. FML
Today, I pretended like I was dead to my 4 year-old brother. He cried my name for a couple of seconds, then took my iPhone out of my hands and ran away laughing. FML
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Top comments
DestinyNiya 33
Hey, Satan! :D Good to know you exist!
brookenicolee29 27
That's when you call him Satan's Spawn
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Comments (40)
LostInTheZone11 29
You must be real fun in church.
BFons 19
Best uncle ever.
dragonrider1959 18
Accidentally clicked YDI you don't deserve it
ManateeRex 14
Tell him you're brothers name is princess buttercup.
Fall3nking 5
Hahaha that's funny I should have done that with my brother
okudatwo 11
That's absolutely hilarious.
bunnybaby100 8
Sorry but I think you deserve it because first off your brother obviously has no respect for you and is immature secondly your son obviously has no respect for you I have 5 kids (two of which are my step children) and none of them disrespect me by calling me by my real name. One of them can't talk but the others are 7,6,4,&2 even my two year old knows better
bunnybaby100 8
I'm trying to figure out how to remove this comment because I really don't want any trouble so I just want to say I'm sorry for what I said and I mean no disrespect and I am definitely not saying anything bad about your parenting again I apologize for my comment and if I knew how I would take it off
MichelleMaBelle_fml 16
I'm sorry but I'm laughing at this
fluffycatsdad 33
I saw the birth certificate of a person with the middle name 'Marijuana' once.
pokehmahn 13
That's a compliment!