Today, my brother hugged me for the first time. Turns out he was patting me down to make sure I didn't have cigarettes. Love you too, bro. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my older brother offered me a cigarette. I took it and barely took a drag before he socked me in the arm and lectured me for taking the offer. He's an alcoholic, and smokes daily. FML
Today, I realized how friendless and lonely I am. I cried this morning as I recalled my older (20 to my 16) brother visiting last weekend. He began his visit by hugging me and saying, "I love you sis', thanks for letting me be your brother." His affection to me is the only hug someone not my parents has given me in two years. FML
Today, I've been so accustomed to kissing my girlfriend that when I gave my best bud a hug, I kissed him on the neck. FML
Today, my boyfriend finally met my brother. He arrested him for drunk driving. FML
Today, for the first time, I hugged the man I have been in love with for four years. It was a congratulatory hug at his wedding to my best friend. FML
Today, I came home to find my brother making out with my girlfriend while taking a selfie. FML
Today, my brother accidentally hit me in the throat. After I stopped coughing, choking, and feeling like I was going to die, he came back into my room, quietly said "I know your weakness," and left. FML
Today, I texted my brother saying, "Always remember I love you! Never forget it!" to which he replied, "You better not be doing drugs." FML
Today, I was walking home from the store when I saw my uncle. I went over and gave him a surprise hug. He grabbed my ass. He wasn't really my uncle. FML
Today, I met my paternal grandfather for the first time. I’ve spent the last three months tracking him down. I poured my heart out and told about how much this meant to me. He told me I had a nice rack and asked for a cigarette. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Sizly 12
Well, he was only looking out for you. Even if he doesn't show it, I'm sure he still loves you, OP.
llexibearr 17
at least he cares about your health.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (30)
thebiteof87 27
How old is your brother?
coocookaylin 17
Was he checking for cigarettes to see if you could lend him one, or to make sure you weren't smoking?
thejonac 21
am i the only one here who wouldn't spend money on carcinogens?
SecundusSecunda 27
Maybe I'm wrong, but I thought cigarettes are a dying fad amongst teens and young people. (Assuming OP is a teen) I myself have never smoked, so you're not alone :)
smoothies14 32
Have you ever bought a Coke, Pepsi, Dr. Pepper, or Root Beer? The caramel coloring was shown to be a carcinogen. Get off your high horse. I don't smoke either but that doesn't make me God.
LadyTyger51ne 8
He cares about you. He just didn't want you to ruin your health ?
maximumcarnage 13
You got a smart brother
kaylie1027 4
at least. u got a hug
Enzymatically 14
smoke you too bro
cheesebond 29
Why did he think that?