By ollie_ollivia - 11/07/2009 23:11 - United States
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Hey at least he pussed out BEFORE she bought a dress and told her whole family. My boyfriend backed out 4 months into planning. I now have a nonreturnable $800 dress and I get wedding catalogues in the mail every day because David's Bridal gave out my information. FML
Awwww!! Poor you! It's okay. Just go Have some hot hate sex with some random hott guy! That always makes me feel better! :D
and how many sexually transmitted diseases do you have or have you gotten? sex with random people is only an answer if your.. ahem.. well a.. you know.. I'm just going to guess that she isn't since she was with the same guy for 2 years.. keep your head up at least you know he wants to just feels he isn't ready.. so he does love you
idk it seems like the word 'propose' it taken out of context. people are assuming he actually made a show of it, then two minutes later took back the ring and changed his mind. i feel like maybe this was something that came up in conversation. he probably said it without thinking... then took a minute and realized 'oh shit!' and took it back. still sucks, but thats just my input lol
He's obviously in love with you or he wouldn't have proposed. He's just not ready yet. Give him some time and I'm sure he'll come around. ;)
I sometimes wonder and wonder WHY men are so skiddish about marriage. Could it really be so terribly scary? Hopefully he'll man up or you'll find a real man in the future. Stay strong, you're not alone in this kind of situation.
From a woman's POV: I can understand PEOPLE not just men being skiTTish about marriage. Any sane PRACTICAL person would be,finances being the number one reason. I personally have student loans I'm still paying 5 yrs after the fact. I can barely make ends meet. Why then would I jump into a marriage just because "I'm in love"? That's not practicality; it's stupidity on so many levels. 2. Once you get married, for women we lose our freedom. Soon the babies come and growing up the way I did where my father never helped my mom with four toddlers roaming the house, I don't want to go through that. She had to quit her job as a nurse to take care of us because my father was too cheap to pay for daycare. I don't want to lose my freedom like that and n0t only that but once you quit a job,you depend on people for finances... 3. Finances again. Once those babies come, they cost a ton of money. Plus your lives revolves around them and the stress is horrible: just for practice try taking care of a 2yr old over the weekend without giving them back to the parent till the weekend is over. Now double the stress because I had to take care of my twin cousins. So I can understand people being wary of marriage; I am and I AM A WOMAN(not just men are skittish). Despite what Disney/Hollywood tells you,it ain't that pretty or easy
Lose our freedom, really? This isn't the 1800's. It's not like this is a contract that will bind ourself to our husband permanently and we in it just to produce an heir. I'm sorry your mom had to sacrifice so much, but really, not all couples have children. Not to mention that contraceptives work pretty well if you use them -correctly-. Besides, those weren't your kids. You'll feel differently when you have your own. And as a woman myself, I'm not wary of marriage at all. I'm not afraid of putting a little work into a life-long commitment. What's wrong with getting married for love anyway? I'm not going to up and decline a proposal because I see it as a financial burden..
but at the same time you're not going to marry someone whose credit is horrible,has a minimum wage job and can't make ends meet,are you? Don't get me wrong. My father was a medical doctor so we weren't middle class or anything but the point is he helped make the babies so he should help take care of them. Feel differently about my own baby? Yeah right! I'm planning to get a hysterectomy as soon as I finish my MBA so there won't be a chance of a brat running around. IF I ever get married to the same guy I'm with now, I know he NEVER wants kids and that works for me since that's one of the reasons I'm with him now
Well I'm glad this person isn't having children. I wish more child-haters would sterilize themselves. OP: I don't think it's the fact that your boyfriend isn't ready for commitment that's the problem. It's okay to be scared of such a huge life change as marriage. It's no light thing, at least to reasonable people (some people have that "it's okay, you can always get a divorce a few years later if you don't like them" mentality - ugh!). But what's wrong with this situation is him proposing in the first place. I think if he changed his mind THAT quickly, he must have known he wasn't ready before he proposed. Tell him not to mess with your feelings like that again, and only propose again when he's SURE he's ready. Maybe he felt pressured or something but that's not a good reason to propose.
I was thinking the same thing. Your dad was the one feeding you and making sure there was enough money to keep a roof over your head. A job that's just as important as your mother taking care of the four of you. How sad that you think so negatively about your parents. OP: Thanks for the laugh! I could only imagine what was going through his head during the two minutes after he asked you! haha