Today, my boyfriend keeps trying to convince me that the hickey on his neck was from his friend attacking him with a vacuum cleaner. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Same thing different taste
Today, my boyfriend came over with a hickey on his neck. He thinks "The vacuum did it" is a believable excuse. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML
Today, my mother found a hickey on my neck. Not believing that it was from the hungry 2-month-old child I was holding, she confronted my boyfriend about it. He promptly accused me of cheating. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to pick my nose. FML
Today, I surprised my boyfriend at work, only to notice that his neck was covered in hickies. The night before, he texted me saying he needed alone time to get his mind together. Looks like he got together with another mind. FML
Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML
How very dare you!
Today, I found out that my girlfriend started a fake argument and pretended to be mad at me for four days, which was almost enough time for the gigantic hickey that my best friend gave her on her neck to heal. FML
I'M SORRY!
Today, I got back at my boyfriend for sticking the hoover nozzle in my mouth as a prank by doing the exact same thing to him. Unfortunately, it must have burst a blood vessel in his lip because it swelled right up and his entire lower jaw on the right side is just one massive bruise. FML
Dominion
Today, I told my boyfriend I was unsure of the future of our relationship, so he gave me a gigantic hickey to "show the world that I'm his." I work as a cashier and see people I know personally on a daily basis. FML
Where you been?
Today, my boyfriend noticed a bruise on my hip. Apparently, he would rather believe I'm cheating on him, rather that I'm terribly clumsy at work. FML
Top comments
It_gets_better 20
To be honest... that sounds like a pretty possible situation.
Leeono 26
Either way it sucks....
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Comments (23)
onceuponatime456 16
Some guys are simply immature and childish enough to do that type of thing especially if they don't like the fact their buddy has a girlfriend and they don't. Either that or your B/F is a lying, cheating little snot. Next time your see his "friend", grab him by the sack and back him up against the wall, then tell him "Truth or your nuts are mine, did you take the vacuum to BF???" His immediate reaction will tell you all you need to know! ;)
iseebearbears 27
I've actually seen a friend attack another friend with a vacuum cleaner, so the scenario is very much possible. I think you should ask your boyfriend which friend, and have him call the friend in front of you to confirm the facts. If he isn't lying, he should be happy to comply and prove his innocence.
Harm Varwijk 17
a friend pranked him and it's a ass move to do, I however see no reason to fight over this . I did this one time to my mate and his ***** left. maybe his friend does not like you. maybe there is something wrong with you.
Harm Varwijk 17
bro's jumping in for a unknown guy who's made a little time management mistake.
GhostFox 34
To be honest? I did that to myself by accident when I was eight years old, which led to my older brother and older cousins doing it to each other, everywhere. Of course, I got blamed and punished for it by the bitch of an aunt that left the four of us unattended to clean her house while she went to the bar to drink, and lied to my mother that she was watching us. That said, the hickey from the vacuum looked nothing like any mouth hickey I've observed on the internet.
thatslifeiguess7 16
Ypu mean ex bf right? kick him to the gutter where he belongs!
carriegirl098 16
You mean your ex boyfriend
Lindsay Mae 4
dump him.
Missy Sewell 6
I was 7 months pregnant, in the hospital with a kidney infection, and my Husband walks in with a hickey on his neck. He told me that the vacume cleaner did it... Men are pathetic...
guitarherogeek 22
Hope that’s now ex-boyfriend