Today, my boyfriend found out it makes a funny fart sound when he blows hard into my mouth in the middle of making out. I can't get him to stop doing it every time we kiss. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend discovered how to make me queef on demand when he has his fingers inside me. I now feel like my love life has been replaced with fart sounds. FML
Today, I realize that my boyfriend's breath quite literally smells like a sewer. It wouldn't be so bad, except that he tries to kiss me about every ten minutes, and I have to hold my breath. FML
Today, my boyfriend discovered that I fart when I'm tickled enough. The best part was when he decided to show his family. FML
Today, I was watching a romantic comedy at my boyfriend's house. During the make out scene, I decided to go in for a kiss. He apparently decided to belch at the same time. I could taste it. FML
Today, my boyfriend discovered you can send sound clips as text messages. So far I've heard 5 of his farts in the past half hour. FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me and decided it'd be funny to blow raspberries in my crotch. He literally thought it was the funniest thing ever. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, my boyfriend endearingly told me that he's been taking advantage of my inability to smell due to a head cold, and he's been farting around me whenever he pleases. FML
Today, my boyfriend's farts got so bad that we made a deal: every day that he doesn't fart, he gets a blowjob. Suddenly, he's not letting gas out anymore. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time and we were alone. He was being super romantic and snuggling with me, and then out of nowhere he let out the biggest fart I've ever heard. He then explained how I should try to compete with it. FML
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Top comments
carry_on 19
And who said romance is dead?
L2U7A_E5I9A2E8H 20
How old is your boyfriend?
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Comments (122)
faint0fhearts 16
Believe it or not you're not the only person this had happened to. In my experience if you put your foot down and stop kissing him, he'll stop.
Dilwann 27
Mine did that as well. And then he tried blowing in my nose, which made me feel like I was suffocating. But it sounded funny when I managed to breathe that way. But he stopped now. Thank god.
mimiminx 23
Thanks for sharing your story! I loved the ending! I was thinking, oh wow, I hope he's stopped by now, and then, guess what?! I found out he had!
HeartOfLead 24
Can he adjust the pitch to his new instrument? I prefer a baritone.
perdix 31
Now, THERE'S a bad ********!
jnanderson 16
I zerbert you!
rt156 16
He'll get tired of it eventually then u can go back to ur normal kissing
7and7is 20
That's what you get for dating an assclown.
maggiefox 25
Tell him you're serious. Give him an ultimatum.
Brayson 12
One of my ex girlfriends used to do the same thing to me. I never understood why. It was quite annoying.
blueskiess 6
Slap him