Today, my boyfriend found out it makes a funny fart sound when he blows hard into my mouth in the middle of making out. I can't get him to stop doing it every time we kiss. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend discovered how to make me queef on demand when he has his fingers inside me. I now feel like my love life has been replaced with fart sounds. FML
Today, I realize that my boyfriend's breath quite literally smells like a sewer. It wouldn't be so bad, except that he tries to kiss me about every ten minutes, and I have to hold my breath. FML
Today, my boyfriend discovered that I fart when I'm tickled enough. The best part was when he decided to show his family. FML
Today, I was watching a romantic comedy at my boyfriend's house. During the make out scene, I decided to go in for a kiss. He apparently decided to belch at the same time. I could taste it. FML
Today, my boyfriend discovered you can send sound clips as text messages. So far I've heard 5 of his farts in the past half hour. FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me and decided it'd be funny to blow raspberries in my crotch. He literally thought it was the funniest thing ever. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, my boyfriend endearingly told me that he's been taking advantage of my inability to smell due to a head cold, and he's been farting around me whenever he pleases. FML
Today, my boyfriend's farts got so bad that we made a deal: every day that he doesn't fart, he gets a blowjob. Suddenly, he's not letting gas out anymore. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time and we were alone. He was being super romantic and snuggling with me, and then out of nowhere he let out the biggest fart I've ever heard. He then explained how I should try to compete with it. FML
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Top comments
carry_on 19
And who said romance is dead?
L2U7A_E5I9A2E8H 20
How old is your boyfriend?
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Comments (122)
PDN 12
My boyfriend and I do that for fun >_
reaxion 25
Next time, a quick flick of the scrote will kill his libido as much as what his actions do to yours.
jl_word 10
Do it back to him, but when you're giving him a ********...?
HowIGetThat 2
Omg I do that with my gf a lot. Just to mess around with her. XDDDD Lmfao it's just a joke though. (:
KaylaTackett 18
Give him a Hoover while he's asleep!
MrsDruidess 23
well don't have sex with him, all the smacking of body parts leads to some crazy sounds. . .
DWordHead16 19
I can see my boyfriend doing something like that, hahaha. He can do annoying shit and Won't stop. I'm sorry that you have one like that too, OP. Just tell em' you won't kiss him anymore until he stops or something :P
fuckit_oo 10
Lol I'm pretty sure he just playing around with you , he'll obviously get tired of it.
an3ph 20
Bucket list.
edmunson 22
Sounds like Fred Flintstone to me...primitive and immature. If you have fun with it all is well, if you don't slap him so hard it knocks the crack clear off his ass!