Today, my boyfriend found out it makes a funny fart sound when he blows hard into my mouth in the middle of making out. I can't get him to stop doing it every time we kiss. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend discovered how to make me queef on demand when he has his fingers inside me. I now feel like my love life has been replaced with fart sounds. FML
Today, I realize that my boyfriend's breath quite literally smells like a sewer. It wouldn't be so bad, except that he tries to kiss me about every ten minutes, and I have to hold my breath. FML
Today, my boyfriend discovered that I fart when I'm tickled enough. The best part was when he decided to show his family. FML
Today, I was watching a romantic comedy at my boyfriend's house. During the make out scene, I decided to go in for a kiss. He apparently decided to belch at the same time. I could taste it. FML
Today, my boyfriend discovered you can send sound clips as text messages. So far I've heard 5 of his farts in the past half hour. FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me and decided it'd be funny to blow raspberries in my crotch. He literally thought it was the funniest thing ever. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, my boyfriend endearingly told me that he's been taking advantage of my inability to smell due to a head cold, and he's been farting around me whenever he pleases. FML
Today, my boyfriend's farts got so bad that we made a deal: every day that he doesn't fart, he gets a blowjob. Suddenly, he's not letting gas out anymore. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time and we were alone. He was being super romantic and snuggling with me, and then out of nowhere he let out the biggest fart I've ever heard. He then explained how I should try to compete with it. FML
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Top comments
carry_on 19
And who said romance is dead?
L2U7A_E5I9A2E8H 20
How old is your boyfriend?
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Comments (122)
Bloink 25
How did he discover that in the first place?
whatismissing 8
Not exactly a turn-on, I suppose.
SwtCherryPie 26
My husband and I used to do this to each other all the time.
ratorr2 23
Time to stop kissing him until he stops ruining the moment.
MAup_fml 6
Same situation, but I started it, thus I deserve it :(
girlfromUS 8
OMG mine does the same thing!
fertilegod 3
so date someone else dummy. you stay with a doofus it is what u deserve
bree_charest97 7
Mine too..
edanielleh 21
I am going to get major hate for this, but if he refuses to recognize your needs, then you should either move on or go on strike so he knows you mean it. I would never advocate withdrawing intimacy on a whim, but if this is really an ever time thing, he is being a selfish jerk
jl_word 10
Don't be a hater. He'll quit shortly. Just a phase.
SasquatchDeluxe 10
Quick solution: stop kissing him.