Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend was kind enough to give me prescription strength deodorant. FML

Today, my boyfriend gave me acne cream for my birthday. FML

Today, I received an early Christmas gift from my boyfriend of ten months. It was soap. In a few days he will be receiving his very expensive specialized car horn he has wanted for years, while I will be enjoying my new bar of Walmart brand soap, which has already begun to give me a rash. FML

Today, it's my birthday. I told my boyfriend I wanted to feel special even if for just one day. He said he would do the laundry for me. FML

Thanks, I guess…

Today, it's my birthday. I don't mind crappy gifts, but I have to wonder why the hell my boyfriend bought me a home enema kit. FML

Today, my boyfriend gave me a gift. A half-used bottle of body lotion that belonged to his dead wife. FML

Get the message

Today, it’s my birthday. At work, at my desk, I found this beautiful gift-wrapped box and a card that read, “From all of us, we really care about you, and hope you like your present!” I opened the box. It had body shower gel, deodorant, soap, fragrance spray, and “frizz shampoo.” Hint taken. FML

Today, I got a birthday present from my boyfriend's mom. It was ProActiv acne solution. He tried to make me feel better by explaining it's because she wants to be able to include me in family pictures. FML

Today, I opened some small cute birthday gifts at my boyfriend's house. As we left to go out, he slipped me a Tiffany box and said he wanted me to open it in private. Flushed and excited, I open it to find a Ziploc bag filled with hair. It was thd mustache I'd been begging him to shave for months. FML

Today, my boyfriend gave me a pair of ankle weights for my birthday. How utterly romantic. FML