That sounds like my boyfriend's mom. I don't know how to keep him and tolerate her, either. She's helpless, needy, dependent on him, and he financially supports her.

Sorry girl, but it is clear that you only have two options. Make him understand that he has to choose. Or you break up with him

Hon, nobody "forced" him "home". She guilt tripped him until he finally caved. And now she knows exactly how much pressure to put on him next time she wants something. This won't change. It took me 8 years of similar to get my husband to realize his mother's bullshit. Even after that, he still caves most of the time. The only child that doesn't is the youngest brother, who is so self-absorbed and abusive to women that I'm surprised he hasn't actually hit his mother yet.

uuuugh.. my ex boyfriends mother was like this too! constantly ruining any time we had together by emotionally black mailing him when we were out by crying we never spend time together and when he did, she sat ignoring him. every trip or time I expected a phone call. I eventually told him how I felt.. it didn't fix everything but it helped

Maybe all you people above who had boyfriends whose mother was like this perhaps you all had the same boyfriend.....

It's time to move on. Nothing wrong with loving his mother,, but there is something wrong with allowing her to control him. Not likely to change at this point. And throwing out an ultimatum is useless.

As others have said, he wasn't forced... he caved. I have difficult in laws but the reason my relationship works is I know I can count on my partner to listen to my needs and draw a line when it is appropriate. If your boyfriend can step up and create realistic boundaries then you can make the relationship work. If not... he needs to figure his shit out before he can make ANY relationship work.

depends on your ages, but if y'all are grown adults then remember you don't just marry him, you marry his mother as well. that's why my 1st marriage failed, because he wouldn't cut the apron strings from his mother, and she intruded on everything and had to have all of the attention all of the time, even when my dad was going through chemo, she still had something that was always worse/more important. My advice: Don't put up with that crap.

I nearly married a man whose mother was the same exact way and I thank God everyday I dodged that bullet. I talked to my ex about it several times and finally made him choose me or her and he chose me (his mother didn't have anything to do with the engagement being broken off) when he chose me she was furious. She constantly tried to guilt trip him and pretty much disowned him until she needed something. To say she was obsessed with him was an understatement. It was downright freaky how obsessed she was with him. She was also extremely bossy and told us we weren't allowed to have children until we were married for at least 5 years because she wasn't ready to be a grandmother yet and pretty much told me that if I did anything with her grandchild that she didn't approve of that I was going to hear about it I finally told her my child will be just that. Mine. and that my husband and I will decide what's best for them and if she doesn't approve of our decision then to damn bad. It shut her up but also infuriated her. The two years my ex and I were together she did everything she could to come between us. My point is that crazy is crazy and it will never go away. If you really want to deal with it forever then that's your choice but talk to your boyfriend and see how he feels and let him know how you feel.

Your bf sounds like a boy. Tell him, he needs to stand up to his mother or start saying her.