Today, my boyfriend accused me of cheating because according to him, our child does not have his hair color, eye color, or other facial features. Our son is five days old, bald and hasn't opened his eyes much. The closest thing I can probably compare him to is an old, wrinkly potato. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend of 5 years almost broke up with me. Why? Our one month old's hair is growing in blonde, and we both have dark hair. Did I cheat? No. I had blonde hair as a child until I was 4... As did everyone else born in my family. I guess this factor doesn't count when you're paranoid. FML
Today, my boyfriend admitted to me that the picture of "him as a baby" is really his son. FML
Today, my boyfriend of seven months and I were looking at some pictures on his iPad. I saw a picture of a kid of about two years old that looked a little like him. I jokingly said, "What, is that your son?" Imagine my surprise when he said that it was. FML
Today, I playfully drew thick eyebrows on my one-year-old son to make him look like a cartoon villain. He laughed cutely in the mirror as I took some adorable pictures. When my husband saw, he threw such a horrendous fit about boys and makeup, I was reduced to tears. FML
Today, my mother found a hickey on my neck. Not believing that it was from the hungry 2-month-old child I was holding, she confronted my boyfriend about it. He promptly accused me of cheating. FML
Today, my wife told my 7-year-old son that he looks just like me. He began crying and said, "I don't want to be ugly like him." FML
Today, my 4-year-old son cut half of my hair when I was asleep because he thought I would look better that way. FML
Today, I ran into a friend that I hadn't seen in about 5 years. She had her 4-year-old son with her. I couldn’t help but notice her son looked almost identical to mine. He even had a very distinct facial feature that my husband has as well. What are the odds all three of them have the same defect? FML
Today, my wife and I both have blond hair and blue eyes, we just had a red headed son. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. While I was asleep, he drew a face on my stomach and when I woke up he was talking to it. He said it would be less weird if he was talking to my stomach with a face on it, representing the baby. According to him, our child is going to have a mustache. FML
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Top comments
jizzwold 21
You cheated on your boyfriend with a potato?
wantmeasandwich 26
Not just any potato. An old, wrinkly one. Shame! I hope you can talk your way out of this one, OP.
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Comments (217)
worldclassrager 41
In time you'll find out...or do a DNA test that will prove that he is 100% yours and his child...congrats by the way....
SwtCherryPie 26
Most babies have blue eyes until they are 6 months old.
monnanon 14
nope. some people are born with brown eyes and my eye colour didnt set until i was 16.
Just_my_opinion 2
I was born with dark brown/black hair.... I have Dishwater blonde hair now. I know other people who were born with red hair and it was soon replaced by blonde.
Powercalcium 5
are you guys aware of such things as recessive and dominate genes? The child could have no traits in common and yet still be a product of the two of you.
KiddNYC1O 22
Newborns are so ugly =]
stretchedthin 20
a baby's eye color at birth is black, grey, or a slate blue, they don't get their true eye color until 6 months to a year old tell your .bf to do some research or better yet ask the Dr.plus the baby probably got most of her traits from you op
monnanon 14
i didnt get my true eye colour til sixteen. had blue eyes for a few years then a hazel colour now i have green.
Krystal3408 32
I'm sorry, but it's obvious your boyfriend is coming up with lame excuses to break up with you and run.
teresa96706 29
why'd you make a baby if he can't even comprehend that it's his too? is he using the baby as an excuse to break up and not pay for child care?
bubblyhayley 16
u poor thing just having a baby n bin with a douche bag like that! it should b a happy tym
831curmudgeon 7
You have to pass a test to legally drive a car, but sadly "stupid" can reproduce without any kind of screening!
monnanon 14
thats called eugenics and it doesnt work. mostly because the only way to tell if someone will be a good parent or not is to let them be one.