Today, my boss called me out for a drug test. His reason was because my eyes are puffy and bloodshot, making me look high. I've been suffering from allergies all week, but still had to pee in a cup in front of a complete stranger. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got sent home from work for appearing stoned/under the influence of drugs. I suffer from severe hay fever, which no antihistamine has fixed yet, hence the red and glassy eyes. FML
Today, I had to take a drug test for a new job. I ended up spilling the cup of piss all over myself. I had to explain what had happened, then go sit in a waiting room full of disgusted-looking people, while I kept drinking water to fill my bladder back up. FML
Today, my nosey louse of a coworker went to HR and told them I was snorting drugs at my desk. I was using nasal saline, as the dry winter weather wreaks havoc on my sinuses. The fact that they even brought me in pisses me off beyond words. FML
Today, I was sent to the front office for having blood shot eyes and smelling like smoke. I just didn't get enough sleep and had trouble putting my contacts in, and I always smell like smoke because of my parents' excessive smoking. They didn't believe me. My parents had to come in to back me up. FML
Today, I had to show up at an anti-drugs lecture with full-blown pink eye. It's from an ongoing bacterial infection, but the speaker said he'd heard that excuse a hundred times before, and shamed me in front of everyone. FML
Today, my boss decided to have the whole staff drug tested and fire everyone who failed. Out of an original staff of 14 people, only my boss, two coworkers and I remain. I now have four times my normal workload and am seriously thinking maybe I should've said "Yes" to drugs. FML
Today, I had to be an observer for a drug test at work. Me and two others got to watch 130 guys take a piss, and then leave work two hours later than everyone else. FML
Today, the lab wouldn't let me do my pre-employment drug test because they had no time when I had to pee really bad. They signed me in to do other blood work I needed, but when I asked to use the bathroom, they said it was for drug testing only. I peed myself in the lobby and couldn't do the blood test either. FML
Today, I found out why I receive random drug tests at work. The safety department was specifically told by my boss to check up on me because I always seem way too cheerful to not be high. I've passed every single test. FML
Today, I decided to go all-natural and go to work without any makeup on. My boss swore I was on drugs, which I guess had absolutely nothing to do with the completely "random" drug test I had to take later in the day. FML
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Top comments
jDCrackpot 7
Better to pee in a cup in front of a stranger than get fired for refusing to take a drug test. Sure it's uncomfortable but if you haven't taken anything you've got nothing to hide.
alstbv12 13
Yeah he meant that. His iPhone just autocorrected his entire sentence.
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Comments (85)
TheNinjaBacon 8
Well think about if u had to be that stranger that would suck even more having 2 watch a bunch of random people takin a piss
dragynfyre 4
I have a friend who has that job...he doesn't like it too much lol.
hateevryone 15
did you explain to him that you had allergies?
dragynfyre 4
yes, but his response was I've heard that before. :p
DJDude_Arazely 10
Wow! What an asshole. >:/
Clarese 0
Hopefully you don't do drugs.
jmoreno 4
If u don't have anything to worry about just shut up n pee in the cup
Thorzix 23
I feel for ya OP, I get allergies like that too for 3 months every year, people keep saying I'm a liar when I tell them I don't do drugs =/
rebelliousshroom 12
I know worker's rights are somewhat underdeveloped in the USA, but I refuse to believe that an employer is allowed to do that. You should have refused.
FukeT_ 10
I know how you feel but you get use to it after a while then eventually you'll whip your dick out in front of whoever...