Work: Today, my boss called me out for a drug test. His reason was...

By dragynfyre - 06/03/2012 05:37 - United States

Today, my boss called me out for a drug test. His reason was because my eyes are puffy and bloodshot, making me look high. I've been suffering from allergies all week, but still had to pee in a cup in front of a complete stranger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 899

You deserved it 2 127

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Same thing different taste

By nzkristy - 03/01/2010 10:59 - New Zealand

Today, I got sent home from work for appearing stoned/under the influence of drugs. I suffer from severe hay fever, which no antihistamine has fixed yet, hence the red and glassy eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 938

You deserved it 2 276

By Anonymous - 05/04/2014 23:16 - United States - Windsor Heights

Today, I had to take a drug test for a new job. I ended up spilling the cup of pee all over myself. I had to explain what had happened, then go sit in a waiting room full of disgusted-looking people, while I kept drinking water to fill my bladder back up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 402

You deserved it 6 438

By Phabia - 21/04/2015 00:16 - United States - Newton

Today, I was sent to the front office for having blood shot eyes and smelling like smoke. I just didn't get enough sleep and had trouble putting my contacts in, and I always smell like smoke because of my parents' excessive smoking. They didn't believe me. My parents had to come in to back me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 957

You deserved it 2 330

By Anonymous - 01/11/2014 15:28 - Canada - Sooke

Today, I had to show up at an anti-drugs lecture with full-blown pink eye. It's from an ongoing bacterial infection, but the speaker said he'd heard that excuse a hundred times before, and shamed me in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 525

You deserved it 3 021

Just Say Yes

By bringthemback - 29/03/2014 10:34 - United States - Columbia

Today, my boss decided to have the whole staff drug tested and fire everyone who failed. Out of an original staff of 14 people, only my boss, two coworkers and I remain. I now have four times my normal workload and am seriously thinking maybe I should've said "Yes" to drugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 097

You deserved it 4 245

By evomadrid24 - 02/06/2011 02:48 - United States

Today, I had to be an observer for a drug test at work. Me and two others got to watch 130 guys take a piss, and then leave work two hours later than everyone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 170

You deserved it 2 796

By Ineedlotsofwater - 23/01/2015 16:41 - United States - Seattle

Today, I found out why I receive random drug tests at work. The safety department was specifically told by my boss to check up on me because I always seem way too cheerful to not be high. I've passed every single test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 722

You deserved it 2 734

Suspicion

By vaylosa - 22/02/2015 20:36

Today, I decided to go all-natural and go to work without any makeup on. My boss swore I was on drugs, which I guess had absolutely nothing to do with the completely "random" drug test I had to take later in the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 574

You deserved it 3 613

By overflowing - 16/04/2011 22:20 - United States

Today, I had to take a mandatory drug test with the doctor present. Nervous, I couldn't get myself to pee in the cup right away. When I finally did, I couldn't stop myself from overfilling the cup and getting pee all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 190

You deserved it 8 665

By Anonymous - 04/12/2009 17:36 - United States

Today, it was my first day with new contacts, but I found out they make my eyes red and itchy. Today was also the day I had a very important meeting. They think I showed up stoned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 911

You deserved it 3 369

jDCrackpot 7

Tuesday 6 March 2012 12:05

Better to pee in a cup in front of a stranger than get fired for refusing to take a drug test. Sure it's uncomfortable but if you haven't taken anything you've got nothing to hide.

alstbv12 13

Tuesday 6 March 2012 12:04

Yeah he meant that. His iPhone just autocorrected his entire sentence.

Comments

AllSoul 23

Tuesday 6 March 2012 12:59

I bet you were pissed after that...

wlddog 14

Tuesday 6 March 2012 17:48

Ha ha ha. I see what you did there :D

perdix 29

Tuesday 6 March 2012 13:14

Your boss was probably suspicious of all of the "420" paraphernalia at your desk. Would you rather pee in a cup or explain your creepy homage to Hitler?

nichelback3505 0

Tuesday 6 March 2012 13:28

Im a guy n i had to do it also infront of a female n i couldnt do it so i told her, well if ur gonna watch then least hold it for me

cosmosis 12

Tuesday 6 March 2012 13:40

Hardy har har! Dude youre probably 12 judging by the way you spell. Just shut the **** up and learn to respect females who are only doing their job!

cookie_crumble89 11

Tuesday 6 March 2012 13:54

I feel your pain

gonad_gobbler 1

Tuesday 6 March 2012 14:02

pee all over the outside of the cup on purpose

izzy7 11

Tuesday 6 March 2012 14:21

At least your boss had a reason. At my job 5-10 people get tested randomly each week whether we look like we've been doing stuff or not. It's part of life. Better than being unemployed.

j_cat187 19

Tuesday 6 March 2012 14:35

Wear sunglasses and use eyedrops.

Tswift0806 3

Wednesday 7 March 2012 21:23

That would probably just make their boss more suspicious...

aFreedom127 9

Tuesday 6 March 2012 15:10

He probably has a golden shower fetish but didn't want to get caught up in that whole sexual harassment stuff. Just leave him a cup of pee on his desk every morning and laugh every time he closes the door for a little "private time".

TSN619 7

Tuesday 6 March 2012 15:39

Quit bitching it's not a big deal. Unless the person was literally looking at your stuff while you pissed it's not a big deal. I do it all the time for work.

RedHotMom26 3

Tuesday 6 March 2012 16:21

Good thing you aren't in the military cuz u would be taking a piss in front of multiple people almost every month. Get over it it's only every now and then!