Work: Today, my boss became obsessed with a movie about a pimp. He...

By kufan1324 - 05/06/2012 03:47 - United States

Today, my boss became obsessed with a movie about a pimp. He now refers to all my female coworkers as his "bitches" and refuses to treat us like human beings. Whenever we make a mistake, he rolls his eyes and laughs, "So typical of a prostie." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 175

You deserved it 3 334

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Same thing different taste

Creep in chief

By wow @ creepy fuckers - 17/11/2012 01:06 - United States

Today, yet again, my boss whined to me like a baby over being "friend-zoned" by his secretary. Not only does he basically stalk her and make her eat lunch with him every day, she's a lesbian in a committed relationship. He suspended me after I lost it and told him to see a fucking therapist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 150

You deserved it 6 144

By Anonymous - 24/11/2010 19:34 - United States

Today, my boss sent me to a meeting with a client I've never met to do some damage control and renegotiate his contract. For two hours, he alternated between threatening to sue us, and making vulgar comments about raping me in his office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 154

You deserved it 3 175

By Anonymous - 31/08/2012 23:16 - United States - Lancaster

Today, I had my boss over for dinner. Knowing that I was angling for a promotion, my fifteen-year-old son spent the dinner uttering lines such as "What's the point of showering before bed?" and "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." My boss was not impressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 144

You deserved it 4 919

Make up your mind

By choke on a dick, sir - 01/11/2013 22:47 - United States - Portland

Today, my boss came around to my way of thinking. He called our customers a "bunch of assholes" and to kick them out if they gave me trouble. When a lady began yelling at me for "setting the damn prices too high" I told her to leave. My boss soon bitched me out for being unprofessional. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 725

You deserved it 7 679

By Anonymous - 18/12/2015 10:17 - United States

Today, I started my new job at a small business. I was pretty excited to finally be working, until I found out the big boss is a creeper and sees no problem making comments such as "You're way more interesting than the rest of these slope-eyed fucks." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 855

You deserved it 1 670

By power corrupts... - 07/08/2011 20:29 - Czech Republic

Today, at my job as a movie theater attendant, my boss finally eased up and let me sit in on one of the movies. One woman kept laughing out loud every other line. After ten minutes of her braying like a dying horse, I got up and had her ejected from the theater. I'm a terrible person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 054

You deserved it 12 043

By Anonymous - 17/08/2012 22:16 - Canada

Today, my lazy manager, who blatantly spreads vicious rumors about employees, one which has ruined a marriage, has started targeting me because her lazy daughter was legally fired. Now I'm known around the office as "the whore who slept her way up the corporate ladder." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 781

You deserved it 1 849

Sticky situation

By Anonymous - 19/01/2021 05:02

Today, my boss keeps pointing out similarities between his wife and me. I genuinely dislike her, and have feelings for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 1 037

By trustyourfamily - 14/09/2015 22:56 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boss bragged to a coworker, in front of me, about how much money he saved on a project because he majorly underpays me. My boss is my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 056

You deserved it 2 285

By Anonymous - 12/10/2013 06:19 - United States - Avon

Today, my bitchy co-worker decided that being given a compliment on her shoes is sexual harassment, and worthy of reporting me to our boss over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 439

You deserved it 3 553

TheArchAngel 8

Tuesday 5 June 2012 8:56

He's no pimp without the slap.

TheElderTROLLZ 15

Tuesday 5 June 2012 8:56

Does he pimp slap you too?

Comments

itsalanis 25

Tuesday 5 June 2012 9:01

You should suggest another movie that he might like, and maybe blow this whole phase over.

Mister_Triangle 21

Tuesday 5 June 2012 9:15

"Check out this movie, Gladiator" *he comes in the next day wearing a loin cloth and sandals*

darwinismisalive 3

Tuesday 5 June 2012 10:25

Hustle and flow

djxerxes9000 18

Tuesday 5 June 2012 11:58

At the end of the day he would throw something out of the office and yell "Are you not entertained!?!"

BrimfullOfAsher 20

Tuesday 5 June 2012 9:02

Record it and play it to his wife.

GoWithTheFro 10

Tuesday 5 June 2012 9:03

He sounds like such a wonderful guy

Meowingtons500 18

Tuesday 5 June 2012 9:03

He loves it when they call him big papa. ;D

MP78_fml 7

Tuesday 5 June 2012 9:20

Throw your hands in the air, if you're a true player!

BandWagonGuy 8

Tuesday 5 June 2012 9:24

Biggie biggie biggie can't you see...

Meowingtons500 18

Tuesday 5 June 2012 9:25

*Throws hands in air* Sometimes yo words just hypnotize me.

gabe222 25

Tuesday 5 June 2012 11:00

"and I just love your flashy ways, guess that's why I'm broke and you're so paid."

PlaidPanda 9

Tuesday 5 June 2012 11:10

How ya livin biggie smalls? ... Time to blare some MSI at 3am thanks to fml.

PlaidPanda 9

Tuesday 5 June 2012 11:13

Just realized this is an actually biggie smalls song, haha. Eh, still going with the mindless self indulgence.

yaniggamatt 3

Tuesday 5 June 2012 9:04

Talk to his bottom bitch. Do you know what I am saying?

Meowingtons500 18

Tuesday 5 June 2012 9:11

No, I don't. Care to enlighten me and the rest of the FML community?

Anai08 17

Tuesday 5 June 2012 9:32

I think this comment refers to the South Park episode "Butter's Bottom Bitch". Which was an episode about the character Butters inadvertently becoming a pimp. He says that line in the episode. Read the comment in Butters' voice like I did, and it's hilarious! XD

Myo_fml 20

Tuesday 5 June 2012 16:51

Yes, I believe I know what you are saying.

gingerfly91 1

Wednesday 6 June 2012 12:41

Yes. Yes, I know what you are saying. You don't have to keep asking me that.

emeraldisle 30

Tuesday 5 June 2012 9:05

Is his name John?

lizzlegirl 9

Tuesday 5 June 2012 9:06

Aww dont worry OP. he probably is just sawdy he has no lurve.

lizzlegirl 9

Tuesday 5 June 2012 9:10

On a serious note, like every obsession, he'll soon give it a rest.

ChickInGreenVans 12

Tuesday 5 June 2012 9:06

Well he is your boss (pimp in a sense of the word) and you are his employees so in a way you are his b*#ches!! But on a serious not though his sarcasm is just distasteful!!