Today, my babysitter told me to find a replacement, so I tried to bribe her into staying by offering her a raise. She told me that the money would be better spent on an exorcist. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had a babysitting job. When I got there, the parents were rushing out the door and told me they'd left instructions for the kids on the table. The first bullet point stated that the oldest was convinced she is possessed by the devil, but just to ignore it. Three more hours to go. FML
Today, I babysat the Antichrist of all kids. After the 5 long hours were over, his parents came home. Instead of paying me what they agreed, they offered to let me eat some leftovers of a takeout in the fridge. I'm so afraid of confrontation that I accepted. FML
Today, as an agency babysitter, I was sent to babysit “Satan’s evil twin.” This kid is so bad, the dad pays additional fees to the agency for every time he damages the sitter's personal items, or if they require a hospital visit. His advice was, "Don’t be afraid to hit him back or he will take your eyes." FML
Today, I called my usual babysitter, one of the few people who can handle my difficult kids, to ask her to watch them for a night next week. She refused. It turns out my wife has been repeatedly underpaying her and she's fed up with it. So long date nights, I guess. FML
Today, I babysat the neighbors’ evil kids. They dropped them over at my house and I played with them for five hours. After taking the brats back home and putting them to bed, their mother asked me what time I came back to the house. She only paid me for the 20 minutes I was in their house. FML
Today, I was told at my babysitting job that I can't bring my toddler with me. My employer is my best friend. Now I have to find a babysitter for my kid if I want to babysit hers. FML
Today, I found out that when my room-mate agreed to babysit someone's two year old kid for money, what he really planned on doing was dumping it with me. The kid won't stop crying and screaming. FML
Today, while babysitting a girl, I told her to be quiet so she wouldn't wake her little brother. In reply, she told me that she would kill me, wake her brother up to show him my dead body, then draw all over my face. I'm stuck with her for another two hours. FML
Today, I babysat for a woman for the first time. When I arrived, there was a large pile of dishes in the sink. I decided to wash the dishes for her while the kids napped. She came home, noticed it, and bitched me out over how I'd only done it "to try and get more money" out of her. What? FML
Today, a woman got out of a car to scream at me as I was walking with the kids I babysit, demanding to know where I was taking her children. Apparently the woman who pays me is also a babysitter, who I have been "covering" for on her party nights. The mother doesn't believe I didn't know this. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Just find a babysitter who can handle sociopaths. The world needs your child to be "high-spirited" and not exorcised.
cacheson 42
Perhaps you need Nanny McPhee. Or Mary Poppins, depending on what you're hoping to accomplish.
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Comments (75)
arquerk 7
That's hilarious
PaintedDoll 13
I've gotta agree with most of the comments so far; it sounds like bad parenting. When I was a tween I use to babysit my neighbor's kids, the only way they would ever do anything was if I threatened to call their mom. The one time I actually did call she told me to "just let them do it, it's easier than fighting about it"...
justinb97 16
Idk why I thought OP was the one being babysat. I was about to ask how old they were. Wow it's been a long day
Witchylady 18
Your child probably needs astern hand and an exorcist.
Danne696 14
#55 The nanny described the child to be in need of an exorcist, which indicates that the child behaves poorly. OP tried to bribe the nanny to stay which indicates that OP is satisfied with the nanny. The problem is therefore unlikely to lie with the nanny.
ohsnapword 21
It's a fact, bad kids are almost always the result of bad parenting.
Selene1090 26
Depending on how old the child is, its likely something you did or didn't do. I hate to be the one to always say its the parents, because its not. But at a young age, a lot of their personality is reflected and learned from you as a parent. Being someone that works with elementary children, I have lots of children that have zero discipline at home and it makes for awful days. If you aren't going to discipline your children or raise them properly, don't make someone else deal with the aftermath.
Darkreign333 23
there's too many stories of shitty kids babysitters have to watch on this site. so I wonder what your kids are like if you can't bribe someone to watch them.
iwillcallpolice 2
You should probably find out why the babysitter hates your child so much so others don't leave.
manuwish 9
Maybe your children would be easier to handle with a male babysitter, it might be worth a try OP :) good luck!!