Today, my babysitter told me to find a replacement, so I tried to bribe her into staying by offering her a raise. She told me that the money would be better spent on an exorcist. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had a babysitting job. When I got there, the parents were rushing out the door and told me they'd left instructions for the kids on the table. The first bullet point stated that the oldest was convinced she is possessed by the devil, but just to ignore it. Three more hours to go. FML
Today, I babysat the Antichrist of all kids. After the 5 long hours were over, his parents came home. Instead of paying me what they agreed, they offered to let me eat some leftovers of a takeout in the fridge. I'm so afraid of confrontation that I accepted. FML
Today, as an agency babysitter, I was sent to babysit “Satan’s evil twin.” This kid is so bad, the dad pays additional fees to the agency for every time he damages the sitter's personal items, or if they require a hospital visit. His advice was, "Don’t be afraid to hit him back or he will take your eyes." FML
Today, I called my usual babysitter, one of the few people who can handle my difficult kids, to ask her to watch them for a night next week. She refused. It turns out my wife has been repeatedly underpaying her and she's fed up with it. So long date nights, I guess. FML
Today, I babysat the neighbors’ evil kids. They dropped them over at my house and I played with them for five hours. After taking the brats back home and putting them to bed, their mother asked me what time I came back to the house. She only paid me for the 20 minutes I was in their house. FML
Today, I was told at my babysitting job that I can't bring my toddler with me. My employer is my best friend. Now I have to find a babysitter for my kid if I want to babysit hers. FML
Today, I found out that when my room-mate agreed to babysit someone's two year old kid for money, what he really planned on doing was dumping it with me. The kid won't stop crying and screaming. FML
Today, while babysitting a girl, I told her to be quiet so she wouldn't wake her little brother. In reply, she told me that she would kill me, wake her brother up to show him my dead body, then draw all over my face. I'm stuck with her for another two hours. FML
Today, I babysat for a woman for the first time. When I arrived, there was a large pile of dishes in the sink. I decided to wash the dishes for her while the kids napped. She came home, noticed it, and bitched me out over how I'd only done it "to try and get more money" out of her. What? FML
Today, a woman got out of a car to scream at me as I was walking with the kids I babysit, demanding to know where I was taking her children. Apparently the woman who pays me is also a babysitter, who I have been "covering" for on her party nights. The mother doesn't believe I didn't know this. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Just find a babysitter who can handle sociopaths. The world needs your child to be "high-spirited" and not exorcised.
cacheson 42
Perhaps you need Nanny McPhee. Or Mary Poppins, depending on what you're hoping to accomplish.
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Comments (75)
mandylove101 3
No the money would really be better spent on parenting classed for you if your kids are that bad
CyboNinja 1
You should raise your kids better. Maybe teach them common courtesy and respect. It'll go a long way.
Unlucky1232 20
sometimes kids are just assholes. Seriously, I've seen kids raised by parents who tried their best and taught them right from wrong but they became little ***** when mommy and daddy weren't around
TheLadyOpal 30
If you feel like you have to bribe your babysitter into staying, it sounds like you probably have a hard time finding people willing to babysit your kid(s) in the first place. I wonder why.
ThrottleJockey 36
Look in the mirror. You've now identified the cause of your child's bad behavior.
Tyrax 16
Clearly, this could be poor parenting. It could also be a case of "when mommy's away, the brat will play." Or a thin-skinned sitter. I would recommend speaking with the leaving sitter and finding out exactly what's been going on, then record the next time you're away secretly to corroborate. Deal with from there.
mkcherry 14
If you have to bribe a nanny it sounds like your child has made other sitters quit before. If your kid is bad enough to scare away even experienced nanny's you probably need to reevaluate your parenting and put your kid in behavioral therapy. Your kid will eventually grow up and be a problem for the entire world around him if you dont step up and fix this.
Unlucky1232 20
THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!.... what? u all know u wanted to
kutkutkut 8
hahahahaha, an exorcist, how she came up with that one is just brilliant.
Talis99 26
Maybe you need to consider how your child is behaving or how you're raising him/her. It's not always the parents, but it's always the parents' responsibility to get help if they can't curtail it themselves.
Kougeru 12
Apparently you raised a horrible child. YDI.