Today, my 6 year old daughter asked me if the tooth fairy was real. I said yes, and she said she wanted to try to catch her. Later, she pulled out a tooth and put it under her pillow. I came in to take out the tooth and replace it with money. There were mouse traps behind her pillow. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I caught my son trying to punch his own teeth out so he'd get more money from the tooth fairy. FML
Today, my daughter lost a tooth. I wanted to make the Tooth Fairy experience extra special, so I dipped her doll's feet in paint to leave “tracks” from the window to her bed. As I was adding the finishing touches and spreading glitter, I tripped on a toy, faceplanted and lost my own tooth. FML
Today, I caught my young daughter eating candy after brushing her teeth. Angry, I asked her if she wanted all her teeth to fall out. She smiled and said, “Yes!” FML
Today, my 5 year old swallowed her loose tooth, which she was going put under her pillow for the toothfairy. My wife then told her 'what goes in must come out'. And now everytime she does number 2, she makes me dig for her lost tooth. FML
Today, I was woken up by my 5 year-old daughter hitting me with a pillow because she had a dream that I was using her toothbrush on the dog. We don't have a dog. She is now refusing to brush her teeth. FML
Today, one of my 5-year-old son's teeth fell out, but he's quite scatterbrained and he lost it. He did however find my vibrating duck under my pillow, and is now crying because he thinks that I stole his tooth so that the tooth fairy would bring me a toy. FML
Today, I woke up to find my 6-year-old daughter had duct taped me to my bed and dropped my wallet down the toilet. Well played. FML
Today, I had mice in the house and had to kill them with mousetraps. I pulled a trap out with a dead mouse and my four year-old son saw. Mice are his favorite animals, and now he won’t speak to me. FML
Today, I ran into my infant daughter's room because I thought I heard her crying, and found she was still sound asleep in her crib. The screams were coming from the mouse our cat was using to paint her bedroom walls. FML
Today, my daughter, who can pick up spiders and even snakes without flinching, screamed at the top of her lungs because she saw a mouse. Um, what? FML
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Top comments
olliec 0
Smart kid. haha
Soup_fml 0
Now I have this image in my head of a little girl waking up to find a decapitated fairy under her pillow.
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Comments (170)
i_stay_anonymous 0
Damn your daughter is smart. 0_o
smartass101 0
i want to marry your daughter... ******* briliant
VereorTenebrae 0
lmao, you deserve it, if they were set.
JohnnyTheFox 0
You're a dumb bitch for telling your kid some stupid superstition. I'm guessing you tell her Santa Claus and Jesus Christ are real too? LOL ****
theanonimouse 0
you're a really sad person, aren't you? deep down inside?
braxx 0
Your daughter = WIN
Ninjaface 0
My parents told me right off the bat that the Tooth Fairy wasn't real, and I was completely okay with that. YDI for lying to your kid just so they can have a "precious childhood fantasy" that you'd eventually have to crush anyways.
CheeseHater 23
OK, first off, when I was 6 I had discovered on my own that none of Santa/Tooth Fairy/Easter Bunny etc. didn't exist, I was that clever. BUT I wasn't clever enough to know how to set up a mouse trap. What I'm saying is that this is either fake or your daughter didn't actually set the trap(s) and instead they were just lying there, doing nothing. If this is the second option this doesn't belong here as an FML... If it is the first you should just GTFO for being a lier and faking a FML... OMG
TedFreakingBundy 0
your kid sounds awesome.
socrkeeper001 0
Fake. There's no way the mouse trap would be able to be underneath her pillow because if someone touches it, it snaps. she would have already activated it by laying on it.
JanisEvans 10
I wish that was real. This kid could potentially change my mind about not wanting to breed...